


On Fire

by kashariak



Category: Ant & Dec RPF, Britain's Got Talent RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Bromance, Brotherly Love, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epic Bromance, Epic Friendship, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Family Feels, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy Ending, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Male Friendship, Other, Showbiz Era, Talent Shows, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-08-08 05:40:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 52,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16423478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kashariak/pseuds/kashariak
Summary: It is not much of a surprise for anyone when an act like Magic illusion goes wrong on Bgt. But what would happen when one act goes horribly wrong and one among the favourite duo of britain is involved in it leaving the other in utter shock and helplessness





	1. When all went wrong

**Author's Note:**

> *Originally published in Wattpad*

Third POV

  Ant and Dec were standing in the wings laughing their wits out not only because  the dancers on stage struggled to hold it together but also in the opposite wing of the stage, Stephen Mulhern is giving his best for their sistershow to be funny and lets be honest, utterly ridiculous. Dec couldnt stop thinking about his good luck. He and his best mate had gone through a lot to reach there and he enjoyed every bit of it. Even if some moments like their pop career was very much embarrassing as he looked back now, they had a great fun as he knew they were real stars at that time with lot of fans and their songs atleast reaching the top 20s everytime. They had worked so hard and had put their everything for the shows they do. And now they are at the top of their career and even personal dilemmas can't stop them from being the most loved and sought out presenters of UK. He laughed thinking how much he used the words we,us,they and them in his thoughts. Ant was always a part of his career and mostly his life. They always joked that if their sexual inclination were not for the opposite sex, they would have got married long ago. 

    He was out of his muse when he felt a sharp nudge on his arm. Ant was looking at him as if to ask why arent you clapping?  Dec realised that he was standing with his arms crossed on his chest in thoughts. He could see from Ant's flushed cheeks that he was laughing his heart out as the act had horribly gone wrong.He loved that about their job. It was not really a job . It was living a moment of utter joy with his best mate. He cant be more grateful.

He was pulled out of all his thoughts when the red buzzers blowed merciless and he and Ant made themselves busy comforting the distressed dancers. The next act was called upon and a man close to their age walked on to the stage. They always liked to be uninformed about the acts as they loved the surprise.The man didnt stop for talk but just said to Ant that he was a magician. He was tall and fit but his colourful shirt and tight mismatching vest gave him a comic appeal. The boys always tensed when magicians walks in as they are likely to be pulled on stage. They never declined the invitation partly because they doesnt want to be rude and they were atmost professionals and also because they knew the producers wont let them get involved in dangerous acts and the crew always took atmost care of everything on and off the stage.

After the short introduction, everyone was holding their breath to see what the man who introduced himself as Leon, could do. Ant and Dec were slightly taken aback by the medics and crew for emergency standing at the opposite side with Stephen, who looks at Leon with appreciation and loath. They knew he was praying his heart out for the act to go well and preserve the dignity of magicians around the world.

  A senseless music number blared through the speakers and Leon was accompanied by two female assistants. He started his act by trying to make a Dove disappear only for it to fly up the ceiling much to Dec's terror; balancing a plate on a pole only to make it fall down and break and trying to upturn a glass of champagne without spilling it only to end up drenching himself.

The audience and judges where out of their heads, antanddec laughing more to stephen's smug face than to the horrible act. Simon was about to go for his buzzer when Leon looked directly at the left wing of the stage. "Ant oR Dec?" he asked. Everyone appered more than interested in the act now. Ant doesn't had to think more before Dec gave him a sligh push and he was on the stage. Looking at Dec with an "I will get you" stare, Ant bowed at the crowd and stood next to Leon. Dec could only laugh seeing the face of his friend. He turns to their camera with a cheeky grin :  "I am not going there.I am far more cute and young to be dying at this age"

Dec's POV

I look at Ant and could not stop laughing seeing his eyes wide with fear. His eyes catch mine for a moment and he rolls it. I dont know why he is so afraid. We always got through such acts. The producers wont let the acts on if they were too dangerous. Even then,I could feel something nagging at the back of my mind. It was the plain fact that none of the tricks that Leon did today was a success. I am aware of the frown forming on my eyebrows as I watch Leon leading a terrified Ant to a box but I cant let the camera see that. So I tried my cheeky way by turning to the camera to ask "He aint afraid of it. Aye?". But as I turn back to face the stage and see Ant being ushered into the box I cant stop the weird fright that creep into my face. Ant catch my eyes and gives me a cheeky grin and a wink clearly knowing what was going through my mind. This is far more nerve recking than I imagined. I should have volunteered instead of pushing Ant. It is far more relaxing to be in your best friend's place than standing here helplessly wondering what would happen to your best mate, especially when you know he is claustrophobic . I look longingly at the box that is now closed, inwardly kicking myself for not going instead of Ant.

Ant's POV  
   
  The box was just my size to crouch down, possibly because I am short. The man shorter than me is just at the other side of the stage and I am more than relieved that he pushed me on to the stage instead of volunteering. I had seen his face before  being lowered into this chest and I am no way ready to be in his position counting seconds to see him emerge from this wretched box. I am not denying the obvious that I am afraid and uncomfortable, mostly due to the fact that Leon is an utter crap and a bit because I am claustrophobic. I wonder what Decs would be doing now. Possibly cracking some odd jokes at my expense to mask his worry from the cameras. I dont know what I would do without that man. We had been through a lot together and through each ups and downs we held and helped each other. It is not a secret fact that if I had any sort of sexual attraction to a person of my own sex, I definitely would have started a life with my mate. Both of us knew that and each and everyday we are thankful to the stars for bringing us together. I wont be me without you Decs, I would have ended my sad life long ago if you were not involved in it. How many times had he thought about ending his life and bringing peace to the one's he love. Lisa loved him more than anything and he loved her the same,  only to fail and hurt her by not giving her a family she deserves. He, at times had thought about ending his life and putting himself out of all the misery ,only to be stopped by one thought - Declan. I can never do that to him. I can never hurt him or throw him half the way to face everything alone. They were always there for eachother.If there is someone who would completely breakdown without me in their life, its Dec both personally and professionally. That was why he ended up abusing medicines to cope up with the pain, but only to bring more chaos to their life. He could have fucked their career up and more than that, their friendship. It was hard to confess everything and dread for the moment when Dec would break up with him. But that didnt happen.When his world was about to turn upside down, Dec held his hand and helped him to check into rehabilitation. During the uncertainty of his return to their shows and TV; Dec stood with him prompting everyone else to not to give up on him; Dec helped him to sort out his priorities after returning to their shows and  stood with him when he decided to let Lisa have the peace of her life, even if it had hurt Dec so much to choose between them. I love you to bits man. You are my constant. 

I dont know why being in this box made me think of all that. 

Third POV 

While Ant was in the box with his thoughts, Leon was doing or rather trying to do more tricks, with Dec impatiently standing on the wing with his hands crossed on chest and one arm raised with fingers on his lips to calm his nerves. He was completely unaware of Stephen's distressed monologue for ITV2 viewers or the occassional laughs from the crew and crowd at Leon's stupidity. The only think he cared about now was there behind Leon, at the far right end of the stage, inside a box. If only he could switch places now.

He was suddenly distracted by the strong smell of burning wood and saw Leon lighting up something like a wooden arrow. Dec knew it had only been a few seconds since Ant was ushered into the box. But he felt like ages and desperately wanted the judges to buzz Leon off and put him out of his misery.  
Simon was having the same thought. He looked at Amanda as if to ask whether he should buzz or not. But David caught his eyes and gave him an assuring node by cringing his eyes as if to indicate wait for a bit. But they all were out of their thoughts when they saw him lighting the stick. Alesha was the first to ask her mind out by enquiring "should we let him continue?"  only for Amanda to voice her fears "I think we should end it" .They understood that even the crowd wanted the same as they heard "off!! off!! off!!" from many parts of the gallery. Simon looked at David who nodded as if to say go for it as now everyone was preoccupied by the thought of the fire arrow in Leon's hand. It was those  seconds of uncertainity that had cost them the moment that would be engraved into their mind and memory forever. Before they could voice or buzz their disinterest in the act, the arrow flew from Leon's hand to put the temporary ceiling and the curtains set up for the act on fire. It was just a matter of seconds before half of the temporary ceiling behind Leon caught fire, and the whole construction, poles, racks and curtains, now in fire, fell down behing the centre stage. Leon efficiently jumped forward to avoid it falling on him but to the horror of everyone watching, the whole facade fell upon the stage .  The place was in chaos and everyone was in panic with Alesha literally jumping from her seat. But all the screams were cut off as everyone held their breath to watch the last of the poles falling, falling straight, into the burning wooden box situated  amidst the fire . No one could utter a word or a scream until a thoroughly heartbroken and terribly frightened scream coming from the left wing of the burning stage tore the silence.

"ANTH!!!!.... No!!!!"

 

 

TBC


	2. Fire

Dec's POV

    After I had willed the judges to press the buzzers, I look at Simon. I know that he is having the same thought as me. Why cant he just press it. I just want this to end even if its been only a few minutes since his audition started. But Leon with a lighted wooden arrow is NOT something that I would appreciate. I could see the judges having the same confusion as me. I turn up the speakers we have at the wings to hear their voice and heard Alesha breaking the uncertainity surrounding the act and asking them to go for the buzzers: finally! I couldnt control a relieved sigh and at that moment I didnt care if I was being a controlled professional host or not. But the relief stayed only for seconds before I saw the burning arrow shot from Leon's hand surging up to meet the temporary ceiling that had been put up for his act. 

      I watch in horror as the whole ceiling tumbled down and Leon jumping away from the falling poles. It was a moment in time before the croud screamed and the whole back ceiling came crashing down forcing me to jump back as the fire roared in rage. But everything, the scream, the fire, the smoke, the show went out of my sight as I watch in sheer terror a pole crashing down, down to the stage, on the box, on Ant! I feel like someone had punched me on the stomach taking my breath away.. It cant be happening... the show is safe... he is safe.. he will be .. he has to be.. oh oh no fire... its in fire.. he is in fire.. I am choking. I cant breath out..I cant keep my mind shut out of thoughts.. I cant voice my thoughts.. as the whole place set in to panic silence, I could only scream, forcing the choking fright to come out and hoping Ant would hear me no..noo Ant.. Ant...ohh..no.no..Anthony .. Anth.. 

"Anth!! ...No!!.."

     I am out of my senses, out of everything happening around me.. I am numb; the sight of whole stage in fire and smoke was nothing to me. My eyes were trained on to the burning box at the other side of the stage. In it, my friend.. my soulmate.. my lifeline. Pure love and affection added the fright I had for his life. I couldnt think of anything else other than my best friend now inside the burning box. Thats when I did it. I set out to the burning stage from the wings.....and ran for the box.

Third POV

The moment the fire caught the ceiling, crew and medics were ready to put it out. But the wood and paper of the temporary ceiling were putting on a fight. They were about to revaluate their plans when they saw a pole falling on the wooden box and the panic silence of the place torn by Dec's scream. That was all they had needed to spur into action with their routine drills and give their best shot to save their friend before its too late. But what they never planned or even anticipated was the brown hair poking out from the wings ready to surge through the fire. 

       Simon could only watch in sheer panic as his show took such a terror turn. He was beyond terrified for Ant. He could hear Amanda in frightful tears trying to hold it and Alesha letting the emotions take hold of her and breaking down. David was holding her but Simon knew he was at the breaking point. He could also hear prayers, whimpers and terrified murmurs from the crowd. He was afraid to look onto the stage as he didnt know what news he would have to face once the fire is down. He saw Stephen hoping down from his side of the stage only to walk through the ground and jump on to the other side. It was this calculated move of Stephen that reminded Simon of the distressed bestmate at the other side of the stage. He was about to voice his relief of Stephen's sensible move when he saw a little man in sandy brown hair running on to the stage , to the fire. The whole crowd and crew screamed in horror and Simon could only call out  Dec!!!!...

Dec was out of the wings and about to pass a fiery fire wall of a fallen curtain when he was rugby tackled into the stage by members of the crew and Stephen. Stephen pulled him to the side stage as Dec struggled from his hold, clearly unaware of the arms of his jumper in smoke as the fire got to lick it for a split of second. Stephen was holding a struggling Dec to his chest with a couple of the crew members holding his flailing arms and legs from hurting him. "Ant!!! Let me go... let me go... he is in trouble .. fire  .. me go... Ant.. Ant its fire ... me go... to Ant.. "  
Stephen couldnt make out his words but was very much aware of the panic and distress his friend had. "Dec... he will okey.. calm down man.. the medics are here   we all are here.  Anthony would be fine.. please.. Dec hold yourself.. Ant will be ..  he will be.. safe.. " Stephen couldnt overcome the choke that combined his restricted sob. He was ready for the anger, for the flailing arms and legs, for the scream and swearing and all sort of violence Dec could inflict upon anyone to cope up with the pain of losing Ant. But what he was not ready was the heartbreaking sob that came from his little friend and the desperate helplessness echoed in the wails that followed. Dec was to himself when he cried out in pure agony and terror as his misery took hold of his senses, blinding his rational thinking. He pushed his head deep to stephen's chest and screamed his heart out for the pain and despire to be pushed out of his chest.  This was what had done for everyone out there. Judges couldnt hold it any longer. The crew, crowd, everyone was in tears. Stephen could feel his own silent tears adding to the thick sobs of Dec. The crew had atlast succeded in putting out the fire which astonishingly have not affected the structure of the stage. All it took away was the stage set for Leon who now is at the corner, looking at Dec rather dumbfoundedly.  He made his way to Dec and put his hand on Dec's shoulder coaxing him to look up at him from Stephen's chest, where he had buried his head. He didn't know what he would tell Dec an apology? But he never had to voice his thoughts as Dec reponded to his touch in the best way he could.

Dec's POV

   I was about to lunge at the fire when I heard Simon calling and crowd screaming. But I didnt care. I was so near to the fire wall when huge hands pulled me back and covered itself around me. I could hear Stephen.I could feel his hands coaxing me to calm. But I cant.  How can I when I terribly wanted to be in the arms of Ant. I struggle in earnest at that thought. But more hands were holding me down." Ant will be.. he will be ..safe.. " Stephens words are like spikes to my heart. I cant hold it anymore as I break down on his chest.   
Ant.. Anthony .. I cant stop thinking about the thousands of memories that came with that name. The name of the person that he had held on to whenever he faced downcomings in his life. The person he could turn to whenever he wanted. Everytime he fucked his own life, Ant always stood by him. He understood and supported him even when the papers sang the glory of his one night stand years ago.. Ant was there for him when he had to break up with the woman he loved for half his life... He was a constant rock when Dec had melted down following his father's demise... they had faced everything together.   
His sobs had transformed into wails. But he didnt care. His thoughts were filled with Ant. He wanted to wakeup from this bad dream. If only he had volunteered himself rather than pushing Ant. Guilt was added to his despire, forcing shivers down him. He cant do this alone. They were always together, he had faced  more than six months without Ant last year and that was the weirdest and toughest of all.. he cant do that again.. and never for a lifetime.

I could feel my breath catching and body going numb in exhaustion.But the pain in my heart is so real. I am vaguely aware of a hand on my shoulders. I raise my eyes to meet that of the last person I wanted to see at this moment. There were no thought, no uncertainity,  just one word echoed through my mind Murderer!!

   My fist met with Leon's cheek in a terrible crunch..I  didnt care "How dare you..You filthy murderer.. I just want to... you fucking scoundrel... bastard.." I knew I was swearing and I couldnt keep the track of what I was saying as blood boiled in my ears and my heart tugged with each breath I take as those are the breath that my best mate couldnt take. That thought drained all anger and energy in me and I sink to my kness with my face buried in my hands and let the sobs take control of me ,slowly becoming aware of the small smokes coming out of the recently put out fire.

Third POV

    The crew,crowd and judges could only stand in helpless panic at the events unfolding before them. Dec's unrestricted sobs had made it unbearable for them and were all sobbing. Simon was beyond shocked at what had happened and couldnt help but think whether he was a reason this all happened. If only he hadnt put Ant and Dec in a compromising position when it comes to appearing onstage and if only he had pressed the buzzer early. He couldnt believe that the producers hadnt taken any actions of letting the audience out or informing the authority about what had happened. Looking at his fellow judges, he cant find a way to comfort them. Amanda and Alesha were on each other's shoulders crying. David had his hands on his head while sobbing both in terror and despire. Simon couldnt hold it together. He felt his own cheeks soaking in tears. He knew what they all felt. Ant and Dec were part of their family. They were like little brothers for him since pop idol. Their firm love for each other and dedication to bring smiles on other people's face had made him adore and respect them more . He could not think about Dec's feelings.  He knew how much they love each other. Dec would miss a part of himself if something happens to Ant. He had seen how he had struggled from Stephen's hold and how he snapped at Leon. It would break him to a point of no return. If they had to lose Ant, there would be a huge gap in all of their lives. Ant was the funniest and cheekiest person he ever knew. Dec's bubbly nature will always make people think that he is the most cheeky out of two . But the people close to them would agree that the most mischievous out of the two is Ant. He always crack jokes or play pranks to bring smile on them; to make everyone laugh. Most importantly, to make Dec laugh. Simon know what Dec has to lose. And he is more than terrified about what it would do to Dec.

     Even if all these happened in less than 25mins of time, yes 25mins, everyone was deep in their thoughts and misery and felt it to be ages. They were all suddenly snapped out of their reverie when they heard the microphone squek and Leon's words came out of it loud and clear. 

                 **********

       Leon composed himself and wiped the blood from where Dec had punched him and started with a sigh. Medics and crew were around the box preventing anyone from seeing the aftermath of the terrible event and most importantly preventing Dec from reaching for it, who is now leaning to Stephen's chest in exhaustion and despire.

   Leon looked once at Dec and started: "I am so sorry that I put you all through such a terrible event". Dec tensed at that. If only he knew what he had done to him.

"I was expecting many of the reactions I got today but I never expected what I got from Declan. Not that I am complaining". 

Dec felt his blood boiling and would have smashed his face in if not for Stephen holding him. "What I want to say is that everyone look for obvious things in their life and ignore or skip to see the most important thing of their life even when it is infront of them". 

The whole place looked at Leon in confusion. He hoped down to the judging table and said pointing to something infront of their aisle

"like this box infront of you". 

He put his hands on either side of the box,  unclapsed it and opened it , to reveal a rather confused and relieved face emerging from it, with a dark hair and an unmistakable forehead. 

           
The crowd cheered in earnest, lifting the roof.   
Judges let out a relieved cry while moving from their desk to come out and hug Ant. Letting all their relief wash onto him.   
The medics and crew on stage, who had been a part of the whole plan was laughing and clapping at the events unfolding.   
Stephen let out a relieved laugh of his own while he let a lone tear flow down his cheek.   
But when he looked at the smaller man on his chest, he was taken aback by the shimmer and emptiness in those eyes as it focussed on Ant, who was standing there without a scratch on him, completely unaware of anything that had happened here a few minutes ago. Stephen slowly tightened his hold on Dec and ran his hand through his back, understanding what his friend was going through "He is here mate... he is alive and well.. He is here..."

He saw relief and realisation grow on Dec's eyes and then a soft whimper 

Anth!..!

TBC


	3. Holding It Together

Dec's POV

      
   When I saw Ant's head emerging from the box, I thought it was my sad head playing games with me. When everyone cheered and judges hugged him, I waited for me to snap out of the delirium. It was when I felt Stephen's arms and assuring words that I let the hope crawl through my belly. he's here he's alive Anth!..!

I felt my legs buckle in relief and was greatful for stephen's hands holding me. I was stuck by the rollercoaster of feelings I had to go through for the past few minutes. I cant take my eyes of him ,alive and smiling at everyone. I let the hope dawn on me and let out a relieved sigh closing my eyes. When I opened it again, I could see his eyes straight on mine filled with concern seeing my state and confusion whilst he spied the stage filled with smoke and ash until his eyes turned back to me, horror replacing his confusion as a rough idea of what might have happened dawned on him. He smiled and reassured the terrified judges while bathing in their love, before making his way to where I stood with Stephen. Stephen was the first to snap out and go half the way to hug him, pouring all his relief onto him. Ant wrapped his hands around the taller man and laughed when his shoulders slacked   
"I am fine stevey, You are not hosting the main show for a few more years I am afraid" smirking as Stephen pouted. 

        In other days, I would have laughed at that. But today I am emotionally drained, struggling to hold myself together. So when Ant came to stand before me, I wordlessly hugged him, taking in the warmth that was offered and basking in the oh so familiar smell whilst the ever comforting arms held me close.   
How much had I missed this hold and now to think I could have lost this forever .I felt myself merging into the comfort, hugging him tightly. This is where I wanted to be since Ant was put inside that box .

"What happened Decky, you okey? Someone's feeling cuddly today"   
I cant help from giving a slight punch on his stomach; how dare he scoff at me after all I had gone through 

"ooh Scrappy-Doo... hold it together man, I am fine..I am really here" 

        I cant hold it. I never can. I wrap my arms tightly around Ant and let the day's toll take on me. I felt Ant's coaxing words, occasional kiss on my hair and the relieving thump of his heart beneath my ears.   
I confidently sag against him basking in that comfort.

Ant's POV

        When I felt the box opening and bright light surging in from the studio lights, I was at first taken aback thinking what had happened. It was like I had been drugged to sleep. I didnt remember falling asleep or waking up until I see Leon looking down on me with a smirk on his face as if he had won a hard match,  with a purple bruise forming on his cheek. I wonder how that happened. I slowly strech myself out, relieved to be out of the box but confused to find myself infront of the judges. I dont remember being moved. I  jolted out of thoughts when the whole place erupted in cheer and felt more confused when David pulled me into a bear hug followed by Amanda and Alesha, who had all tears in their eyes. But what took me off the most was Simon's hug. He hugged me as if I have put him out of a great misery. The tear stains in his cheeks just confirmed that. They were fussing over me in a relieved happiness and I had no idea what it was all about. They pulled me into a BGT family hug and I felt love emanating from them. It was then that I caught the sight of Declan. 

       He was at the side stage looking as if he had put up a good fight. Tear stains were visible in his cheeks glittered by the studio lights and his well kept hair and jumper were  disheveled. He was leaning on to Stephen who had one arm around him and was looking at me in abandon. I can feel the familiar tug in my heart I used to get whenever I saw him like that. I just want to hold him and comfort him and assure that everything will be fine. It was then that I saw his singed sleaves and was struck with smell of burnt wood and paper. My eyes drifted to the source of the smell and was met with the full glory of fiery disaster on stage. And to my most unbelievable horror, the box I thought I was in is there, burnt to ashes with a huge pole holding it down. It was then that the weird realisation struck me. They were not happy or relieved because I  appered but because   
I appeared alive. 

They thought I had died

         My eyes found that of my friend's.Now I know why it looked at me in pain and despire as if  worried that I will go up in a vapour any second. I can see Stephen comforting him and holding him tight to his side.   
Ooh Decky.. I am so sorry. 

       The judges had caught my eyes and was releasing their hold. I gave them a parting hug and smile and waved at the audience now in relieved tears as I made my way to Dec. Stephen met me half the way and hugged me tight releasing the tension he had held. I couldnt help but feel warm and fuzzy as I felt the love all these people have for me. I had to cut the soapy air between me and Stephen and I cracked a disarming joke on his career forcing him to pout at me mockingly. 

     Stephen patted on my back and stepped aside so that I could go to Dec who still stood there without batting an eyelid.I stood before him and saw hope creeping to his eyes. He wordlessly puts his head on my chest and wrapped his hands around me visibly relaxing. I know this was the moment he had been waiting for since I went on stage. I felt his hands tightening as if asking for a warm comfort or even assurance.  
I had to put him out of this misery and I just knew what I had to do.  
" What happened Decky, you okey? Someone's Feeling cuddly today" I had to laugh at the small punch I got and I knew my Declan is back.

"Ooh Scrappy-Doo... hold it together man" but I knew I had to assure him   
"I am fine..I am really here" 

          
I was prepared for what followed, I pulled him close to my chest and let him pour out all the agony he had to go through few moments ago thinking he had lost me.

Third POV

      Dec's sob had subsided a bit and Ant took him to the wings, where they belonged. Everyone was in position with judges ready to comment on Leon's performance who stood rather awkwardly after the scene he had put on. He could feel the rage of many people on him and more forceful one's coming from either side of the wings. Declan and Stephen stared at him as if controlling themselves from choking him out of his wits.  
Ant looked comparitively amiable but Leon clearly knew that once Ant get to watch the VT and see what Dec had to go through because of him, he will for sure come for his neck. 

     Ant looked at Dec in concern. He had persuaded Dec to take off his scorched jumper and to all their relief , the fire had only touched his jumper avoiding his skin. Ant watched Dec closely and tightened the hold he had on his mate's shoulder when he noticed fury eminating from his friend, while Leon took his stand at the front of the stage ready to speak with the judges.

 

 

 

TBC


	4. When despair turns to rage

Third POV

David was the first to comment "I am extremely happy that your act went well or Stephen could have had the chance to host the main show. Glad we dont have to do that".  
This incited giggles from the crowd and the judges. Even Ant smirked at Stephen who was looking at David in mock anger, but he was taken aback when Dec visibly flinched at his side.     

Amanda congratulated Leon for his acting skills but warned never to do that again. "I never felt so dreadful in my whole life and I certainly dont want to go through that again. And you being clumsy throughout the first few gigs really did the trick" .

Alesha was far more cross at him  
"I don't know how to judge this act as it had put me through the worst  day of my life. Even if you did it brilliantly I didnt enjoy it for a second". 

Everyone was waiting for Simon to speak as they knew he didnt take the act well.  
"I would have found your act brilliant if you hadnt had us terrified out there. I am really interested to know who all are involved in this act apart from those who were on-stage?"

Leon thought about it for a moment  
"some of the crew members, ...a couple of medics, ...the people who helped me set the props ...and ...the producers"

What?!!  Simon snapped his head up " the producers knew about it?" 

"...Yes Simon"

"Okey.. but why didnt you inform Ant about it ?"

"err... I didnt knew who was to turn up"

"But you knew what your trick would have done to Dec. You could have explained it to Dec before putting such a reckless act"

"I know... but ...the producers asked me not to"

         Simon couldnt believe what he just heard and nor could Dec or anyone else. Ant couldnt hold back Dec from getting on the stage again, this time facing Leon.  
"What did you just say? The producers asked you to hide it?They knew this all along?" 

Dec could hear people screaming in his ears and he didnt care. He plucked his earpiece out in all fury. Leon could only nod as he tried to figure out what was going through Dec. 

      Meanwhile Ant's earpiece was blaring aloud "what is he doing ? Why is he on stage?Call him back now!! Whats happening?Why is he doing this?"

Ant just looked at their camera knowing so well that the producers could hear him and said "I dont know. I was stuck in a box ,remember?"

He could figure out the sadness in Dec but not this fury. Dec gave one pointed look at Simon and went to the wings to stand next to Ant and waited for the imminent show break . Judges were rather pissed at Leon but they had to appreciate his talent and skill of acting. Leon came back from the stage with four rather uncomfortable Yes', dreading the moment he have to face Dec. But as he reached the wing, Ant shook his hand while Dec went straight to his dressing room.

Dec's POV

I am fuming inside. We had given all our energy and half our life for this show and this is what we get in return. They fucking used my feelings for Ant. They knew how much he loved his friend.  They bloody didnt care about his feeling. All they cared was figures. They knew he would be lost without his mate . They knew it all . Why would they care, all they did was play with other people's feelings. I bet Simon was unaware of it all. He wouldnt have let this happen. 

Does they ever think how the whole situation could have affected me? I was going out my head thinking I had lost Ant and all they cared about was bloody ratings. I could have got a heart attack or something, going through that ordeal. 

I feel rage cursing through my bloodstrems. I close my fist and hit the wardrobe to ease my fury. But the pain just added the heat. I must be out of my mind. I didnt hear the door opening. But the hands on my shoulders felt familiar and I leaned on to that contact.  
"What is it Decky? Why are you so angry? I came back didnt I? Or is that whats making you angry?"

My head involuntarily snaps up to meet his eyes winking at me cheekily and something snaps inside me "Why the hell did you say that? Do you understand what's going through me? Do you have any idea what they had put me through and what I had to go through? And to think that they knew it all along. They fucking played with my feelings Ant".

I scoffed. "Whom are we talking about.They always played with feelings and we always bloody supported them. We always said that this is what the contestants had signed up for and they cant complaint if their feelings are hurt and we bloody stood for them!"  
I could feel my voice raising.  
"We didnt sign up for these did we? I am here to host the show and not to bloody watch my friend being burnt so that it would make a bloody good TV for them. I didnt sign up for this! Anthony"  
I know I am out of my mind. I look at Ant to see him staring at me rather dumbfoundedly. 

"Decky.. snap out of it man..  we are the hosts of the show and this is what we do. We signed up for this pal". He puts his hands on my shoulders and pin me with his gaze "This is what we do son, we had always enjoyed it. Just leave it man, this our job. This is what we are here for" 

He pulls me in for an AntMcpartlin hug "I love you man, just calm down.. all is well.. Okey?"

I smile at him knowing he could only get more tensed if he knew what was going through my mind. 

I know what to do and I am bloody well going to do that. 

I might have been shaking. Ant tightens his hold on me."I am okey Ant, its just the shock wearing me off"

"Okey pal, you wanna go for a tea?"

"No, I just need a sleep. I think I will lie down here for sometime, alone" I cant meet his eyes.

"Okey ..and err.. I will be at the Editors room.. err you know to watch what all happened ..err when I was in ... the box err..you know..."

"I know Ant" I cut him out  "I will be fine"

"Come here son" he pulls me again for a short hug and I cant help but melt into it.

I hear the door opening and Stephen comes in.  
"Hi guys, I just wanted to make sure..."

I sigh in asperation "I am fine Stevey"

"No ,no! I just wanted to make sure you are still the most ticklish amongst us"

"Stop it... stop.. it..!!!!"  
I can only laugh in submission as the two taller men tickled me mercilessly. I felt the bound up anger evaporating slowly. After a good few seconds of torture they pull me for a short bro hug.

"I think I can use a sleep now" I say slowly. Both nod at me and move out after giving me an assuring smile. I watch as they scruffle out of the door, Stephen to pick out some weird acts for his show and Ant to finally watch the moments he missed during the show.  
I have assured them that I will be resting. But I wont be resting until I did what I need to do.. what I must do .

I dont want Ant to know what I am up to. He will never let me do this. But I have had enough. The sheer terror of losing Ant is something burnt into my heart for the rest of my life. I know this could change our lives for good or bad. What I am going to do can pan out to be the most important and reckless decision we had ever taken. And Ant know nothing about this. For the first time in 28 years, I am deciding for us. Alone. But I dont care. Not after everything I went through.  
        
      I searched the wardrobe to find an old jacket of Ant and put it on instead of my trashed jumper. I wipe my face . I could feel exhaustion coursing through me. But I cant stop to think. Not now.  
I pocket my phone and set out of the studio bowing my head low and trying to be away from the sight of  anyone who could stop me from leaving the place.

 

 

 

TBC


	5. When we thought the Smoke had Settled...

Ant's POV

As the video progressed I could feel something on my chest. No wonder Dec was out of himself. He was clearly made to believe that I would never come back. My heart tugs as I watch Dec lunging through the fire for the box, only for Stephen to tackle him to the stage. Ooh Dec.. I am so sorry. I didn't know what he went through until now. He was right. I didn't understand. I could feel my cheeks getting wet while hearing Dec's helpless wail. What have they done to you mate...

I know that the technicians could see me crying. But I can't stop feeling for Dec. He had gone through an absolute hell while I was inside the box in complete oblivion. I should thank Stephen for his presence of mind. If he hadn't caught Decky on time... I shouldnt think any further. Hearing Dec's abandoned cry was enough to make my breath hitch and sobs erupted from me. I raise my palms to my eyes and submitted to the emotions to take hold of me. Someone pats on my shoulders. I look up to see Andrew "I am sorry mate. I couldnt hold it together"

"We know Ant. We can understand what you are through. It was hard Ant, really hard. I am really glad that you made it. Dec was beyond himself mate. And to stand there watching it all and not able to change a thing, its horrible Ant."

I hugged the man in earnest. The act had made them all worried.  
I have to go to Dec and apologise to him . I now know what he went through. I cant imagine what I would have done if I was in his place. That brought fresh tears to my eyes I am so sorry Declan.

I now know why he is so angry at them all. He is right. They had used his feelings for me. They have made him break down infront of all those people. What if he couldnt hold it? I could have lost him. He felt a warm tug of gratitude for Stephen again.   
I cant thank you enough Stevey. If not for you...   
He had seen how Stephen had held Dec and let him cry on his chest. Ant couldnt be more grateful. He has to thank Stephen for everything he did for them. But before that he wants to apologise to Dec. 

He knew that Dec's anger is justifiable. They have to do something about this whole scenario. He has to discuss it with Dec before taking any sort action against the people responsible for this. He wants Dec to agree. Because this is about him.Dec was the one who had to go through it all.   
Ohh god.. how many times have I thought about ending my life. Now I am beyond relieved that I didnt do it then. 

His best friend breaking down on Stephen's chest as if his world had ended was more than enough for Ant to understand the value of his life. 

Oh man.. only you Declan...

Third POV

The room was in complete silence as Ant submitted to the emotions that took him. Andrew was near him trying to give the comfort he can. But he knew he cant. He clearly remembers the panic they had when the box burned on screen and the sheer pain of heart breaking while hearing Dec's helpless wail as he called out for his only friend. And for Ant to see his friend in such a condition and not to break at that, thats impossible. Andrew moved from his side to fill a glass with water and passed it to Ant. The young man took it gratefully and composed himself with a huge sigh. 

"I have to go now. Thanks mate"

"Its okey Ant. We all are beyond relieved to see you safe"   
He patted his shoulder and let him pass to the corridor.

*******

      Ant exited the room in a hurry to reach Dec. There are many things he had to discuss with him. But most importantly, he have to aplogise. Ant was about to pass the centre hall that branched to the corridors with the dressing room when he saw a tall blond walking toward him from the other side of the floor "Ant!!!"

"Ali !!! I thought you were at James Grant"

"I was. I got the news of what happened here after I came out of the building" She pulled the slightly shorter man in a warm hug. "Are you okey? You fine?"

"I am fine pet. It was just a magic trick by the way. The magician thought he could impress the judges by burning me on-stage. They were far from impressed I have to say. But he did get four grumpy yes' "

"Thank god it went well. How is Declan? Where is he? Is he okey? Why isnt he with you?"

"Calm down pet, I wont say that he is okey . It was horrible for him. I just came out watching everything that had happened while I was shut in a box. They made him think I had died. Ohh.. he ran for me Ali. He lunged at the fire. If Stephen hadnt pulled him back in time.. ohh god Ali.. I cant think about it. I cant forget how he screamed when he realised he had lost me. I will never forget that. He was in bits Ali"   
Ant felt himself tearing up again.

"Ooh Ant, I can understand what he might have felt. I am really happy that you are safe. Not only for you but also for him. Where is he now?"

"I left him at his dressing room. He might be sleeping . He was in pieces when I saw him. Oh god... I can only imagine what he would have gone through"

Ali wrapped her arms around his shoulders "I know Ant. I dont want to think how anyone could comfort Declan if something had happened to you. No one could replace you in his life"

"I know Ali , because I feel the same. Thank god Stevey was there in time. If Declan had to face it all alone. He bloody ran for the box Ali.. If the fire had caught him.. ohh god.." He couldnt control the sob that followed.

"Calm down Ant.. please.. "

"He was so angry at the producers. They knew this was gonna happen and they bloody stopped Leon - the magician - from explaining the trick to Dec. I cant believe they did that. I know this is showbiz and I know we all are professionals bound to go through all these shit. But this exceeded all limits Ali, we must do something about this"

"I was thinking the same Ant, I think we should discuss it. We cant let this go. Not after what they had put Declan through"

Ant was taken aback seeing the fury eminating from Ali. He knew this is for Dec's sake. She is just like Declan sometimes. It took you too long to realise that Decky.The thought put a small smile on his face and saw Ali visibly relaxing at that.

"Sometimes I remind you of Declan. dont I?"

"Yes you do"

"I cant argue with that. I too care for you. And Ant, about that, I got a call from Lisa..She is worried. I promised to call her back once I see you in person"

Ant smiled at that "Tell her not to worry pet, I am fine"

Ali look at him with a lot of questions in her eyes.  
"I love her Ali. you know that"

"Ant.. I.."

"We already had this talk Ali"

"I know. I do. Anyway, let me just pop into my man's room. Dont know what I have to expect"

"He is in his full on Scappy-Doo mode. I was about to go to him. But you go pet, I will wait"

"Its okey Ant.. you can come with me. I might need a human shield if I have to face a derailed Declan. You are perfect for..."

Her word were cut out by her ever active cell phone . She frowned at the caller ID and rolled her eyes at him. "I just came back from there"

She attended the call in disinterest. Ant laughed at her ooh so familiar cant you wait until I sort it out with my husband expression. But her frustration turned to shock as she listened to the unending monologue coming from the other side   
"I didnt know.. I just reached here.. no I have Ant with me. Are you sure?!! I will ask Ant..I will call you back.. Please dont... no we HAVE to talk..let it be.. yes..yes I will... yes he is with me .. I DONT KNOW... Let me talk to them first.. will call u back okey? Thank you...Thank.. you... Okey.." 

She ends the call and turns to face Ant "Why didnt you tell me Anthony? How could you two decide it on your own . You could have warned me at least. This could go either way for you both Ant. I thought you were happy , here, together!! You always had been!"

"Cut it out Ali. I can't understand a thing you are saying. Whatever it is, I am sure I am unaware of it. What happened? Who was it on the phone?"

"Don't say you didnt knew that.   
No decisions concerning Ant&Dec firms and productions are taken without your knowledge.  
Especially something that could clearly affect your future"

"What do you mean Ali. Stop talking in cryptics. I swear I dont know anything about it, whatever IT is"

He could see fear replacing frown in her eyes.   
"You really didnt know?  
.... I had Rachel on the phone... from James Grant... She told me that she received a letter and a call from your office, requesting them to cancel all contracts with BGT and settle every dues that could follow"

"What?!!"

"They wanted to know , why Ant & Dec had decided to quit BGT"

Ant felt like someone holding his throat,choking him.

Oh no... Declan!!

 

TBC


	6. Is this the End?!

Dec's POV

I entered the audition venue with trepidation. The news would have reached our team now. I cant ignore the pang of guilt surging through me . My rather lengthy experience in showbiz had taught me that before taking any important decisions concerning your career, you have to consult it with two people. Your work partner and your talent manager. But in my case the former happens to be my best mate and the latter, my wife. I know how much they can influence me and my decisions and I cant let it get to me. But to face them after what I had done, ohh this is going to be tough. 

The exhaustion is now taking full claim on me. I thought about how to persuade Ant and Ali . I have to make them see my side of the matter.  I was jolted out of my reverie when my phone buzzed urgently from my pocket. I inwardly cringed at the name flashing on the screen: Ali!!   
The news might have reached her.

"Hey Ali"

"Declan, where are you?!"

I can hear Ant in the background "ask him to be here NOW!"

"Dec.."

"I know Ali. I am here. I am near the entrance to the backstage. Is Ant there with you? I have something to tell you both"

"Yes he is with me. You better explain everything Dec"

I winced at the tone of her voice  
This IS hard

"We will be there in a moment"

"Okey"

What have I done. How could I explain it to her. But she is my Wife. She have to understand the position I am in. She must. And Ant? He bloody well be with me in this. I wonder whether it was a stupid decision to call them here than somewhere private. May be not. They would be calmer and collected amidst the crew.   
I still go for a rather excluded part of the backstage, crowded with huge boxes that carried the stage equipments. I shudder at them. The events of the day are coming back in full swing at the sight of them.

It took them just a few seconds to spot me. I could feel the rage and displease in their stance. I held my palms up in the air as they reached me  
"I can explain"

Ant spoke this time,  
"you better well do"

Ant's POV

We had rushed to Dec's dressing room only to find it unsurprisingly empty. I now know why he wanted to rest Alone. How could he be so stupid. Don't he know what it could do to our career, his reputation in the business? How could he be so reckless.   
Ali took her phone to call Dec. I could see anger flashing in her eyes. "Declan where are you"  
I cant control my frustration   
"Ask him to be here. NOW!" I demand, knowing so well, that he could hear me.

Once she end the call and tells me where he is, we make our way to him. You have a hell lot to explain Dec.

We reach there and spot him in a corner amidst the carrier boxes. He tense as he sees us approaching and takes a defensive stance "I can explain"   
I know he is feeling guilty for hiding this from us. But I dont care  
"You better well do"

****

Third POV

Three people standing in a corner of the secluded area and having a talk is not much of an interest to the crew. Especially when they realise they have no right to put their nose in the matters of a couple and their best friend.  
Ant was trying hard to lower his voice so that no one would notice them there. "Why Dec?"

"You know why Ant. I cant do this anymore"

"What do you mean you cant do this anymore. Why the hell did you go on your own and break the contract when you so well know what that could do to us?"

"We still have two more shows Ant.This is not the end of the world"

Ali had had enough of it.  
"Two shows? I am your manager Dec. You should have warned me before doing something like this.This can all go wrong for you Declan. ITV could lose their trust in you. You cant let emotions take hold of your profession. And never when you are not alone in it".

Ali was not much conscious of her raised voice, going into full flung I for the hell manages you stance and a few people passing by stops and listen to them.Everyone becomes rather shocked at the animosity raging from that part of the stage.  
"Stop it Ali! You of all people should bloody well understand why I did this"

"Oh really?! Why should I?  
Please tell me why I should understand your childishness?  
I am bloody well responsible for everything you do and for you to put your whole career in stake with such a reckless act, how do you expect me to react to that? Did you ever think about what that could do to Ant? For god's sake you are NOT in this alone to take your own decisions. Why should I see your part after you put both of your careers at stake?!"

Ant could sense things slipping out of hand. "Calm down Ali. Dec, you have to realise your mistake.This is not done Declan"

But Dec was still reeling from what Ali had said. Something in him snaps and he suddenly forgets where he was and who stood before him "Why  should you see? Because you are my WIFE" his voice had gone octave forcing everyone around them to turn in awe and terror   
"You. Are. My .Wife and you of all people should know what was going through me" 

"I am trying to understand that Declan but I cant"

"You bloody cant because you were struck with you pen and papers miles away and knew damn nothing about what happened here. You fucking didnt know"

Things were heating up between the couple and Ant was shocked to see Dec's reactions.  
"Behave Dec. You cant speak to Ali like that. Not after what you have done"

"Ohh really? Not you too Ant! Then how should I speak? What should I do? Does anyone care about me or what I am going through?"

Ant have had enough of this  
"Shut up man! Dont beat around the bush when you clearly know what you have done"

The whole backstage had gone quiet now. No one knowing how to break this too personal exchanges. Stephen had just reached there to hear Dec shout at Ali. But he know this is not his place to speak. Not when it is between those three and not at all when he was unaware of the matter that caused it. But he couldnt ignore the interest the fight was getting and he could only panic at the raised cellphones and cameras ready to put out a hot gossip. 

He knows he cannot stop them from taking pictures or cooking up stories. And if he tries to, not only does Sun or Daily mail , but every paper that goes out tomorrow will have their pictures in it, with some rather feisty story that could haunt them for ages. He realised that there is one thing he could do. What Ant and Dec had taught him throughout the years. What they would have done if they were in his position. Show the truth. 

He turned to Roy, his camera man  
 "shoot it Roy, fast"

He ignored the gobsmacked look that Roy gave him but as always, the camera was up, capturing every detail of the ongoing fight.

***************

         The three people at the other side were completely oblivious to all these, their voice increasing and anger radiating to the highest meters. It was two against one.  
But Dec was never going to give up.  He has to make them realise his part.  
"Ant, you have to understand me. I cant do it anymore man. And I for the hell or heaven cant let you do this too. Its done man. Lets just end this here. We have other shows, we can make our own show, I will do anything you want but not this. I cant stay here Ant..and thats the end of it"

Ant was dumb in shock for a moment at Dec's pleading tone. But Ali was not having any of that.  
"What do you mean by end it here? Declan are you even listening to what we are trying tell you?  
She could feel tears in her eyes. Of rage and grief. Listen to me Dec

"Dec,we have to talk.This is not done. Stop being so stubborn. You cant just throw away what you both have. Not for something like this"

This time,Dec let it all go. He ignored Ali's brimming eyes and pleading tone and let her have it all. He had lost the control of his rage and voice.  
"Shut up Ali! Just shut up! If you cant yet realise my position or my grief then please stay away from me. Get lost Ali. I am reckless,I am senseless, I am stubborn and I am all the more a peahead for quitting a place that made me live the worst nightmare I could ever have. To make those people angry who had used my feelings for Ant for their own needs and now I have to face my manager who fucking well dont know what it is to be a wife at the first place"

Ali was sobbing at this point and everyone was glued on spot in shock.But no one more than Ant.   
He couldnt believe what Dec had just said. Ant shuddered at what that could cause to his and Ali's relation. But Dec didnt stop it there. He was out of all rational thoughts to realise the things coming out of his mouth, loud and clear, for the whole place to hear. He just wanted to let out the whole lot of anger pumped up inside him and he didnt care that it was on his wife that he was spending it all.   
"Now dont use the tears Ali, fucking dont use that against me as you bloody well know I am not falling for it today and not anyday and for god's sake if you cant put up with me being so stubborn and reckless, then it would be better for you to fucking walk away from my life and leave me forever for good..."

This sentence was what that had done it for Ant. He took Dec by his collar....  
Pulled him away from Ali.... pushed him in all rage against one of the huge boxes behind them....   
and slapped him across his face, hard on his cheeks!!

Once.  
Twice..  
Thrice...

Stephen felt like his eyes tunnelling at what was happening before him. He was momentarily blinded with flashlights going out, eager to capture something that they never thought would happen.  
That should never have happened.   
That he wouldnt have believed if he hadnt seen it with his own eyes. 

Ant hurting Dec while they all stood and watched...

 

TBC


	7. Can you Forgive?

Ali snapped quickly from her shock and pulled them apart. Dec stood there holding his cheek , his eyes trained to the floor while Ant stared in disbelief at his palm that had hurt his only friend. Both had tears in their eyes. Anger, Shock, Grief and Pain took hold of Dec as he leaned against the box and slowly slid himself down to sit on the floor with his sobbing face between his legs, arms hugging his knees close together.

Ali went to him and rubbed his back up and down comforting him. Ant couldnt believe what he had just done. How could he do that to Dec?   
But he knew why Dec's words had set him off like that. He dont want Dec to lose Ali. He knew how painful it is to move apart from your only love and he would never let his friend through that fate. He carefully made his way to Dec and crouched down on his knees. He put his hands on Decs shoulders and coaxed him to look into his eyes "Sorry.. pal..I am so.."  
His apology was cut out by Dec, who held his shirt and pulled him close, to lay his head on Ant's chest and sob. 

Ant couldnt hold his own tears now flowing freely while his friend, whom he had hurt seconds ago held him close and wept. Dec's muffled voice from somewhere around his chest vibrated through him "I know Ant.. I am so sorry.. I was so afraid, I was sad, I was angry... I just did what I felt ; said what I thought..." He looked at his wife who was now sitting close to them giving him as much comfort as she can. He felt guilt welling up inside him realising what all he had said to her "Ali.. I am so sorry.. I dont know what came over me.. I...dont.. know..."

He sobbed harder and this time Ali too wrapped her hands around him, she and Ant making a cucoon for him to cry in person.   
A few seconds had passed before they became aware of a figure looming over them.  
"Err guys, I have made everyone mind their own business. But I honestly think you should move from here before attracting another commotion"

Stephen's words made them realise where they are. 

Ant raised his head from Dec's sandybrown hair pillowed at his neck and looked around.

"Ooh Shit!!!"

 

TBC


	8. When we Thought Things couldnt Turn more Bad

Third POV

"Ooh Shit!!!"

"Yes Ant.. we all had a great time watching everything"

Ali was holding an exhausted Dec when they swiftly made way to Ant's dressing room, bowing their heads down. Once inside it, Ant hugged a distraught Dec and placed his lips on his forehead. Ali and Stephen slipped out of the room to give them the privacy they need to sort things out.   
"I am so sorry Decs, I couldnt watch you say those words to Ali and I couldnt let your love slip away from you. I just wanted to protect you pal. Just wanted to make you stop... I am so sorry" He slowly rubbed him hands on decs cheeks where red bruises were forming. How could I do this to him.

Dec knew why Ant did that. And that made him feel more guilty.   
"Ant..", he pulled Ant to the sofa nearby and sat facing him, his hands around Ant's waist and head on his shoulders . "You dont have to apologise Ant, I know why you did that and to be honest  I am rather thankful to you for that. I could have lost her. Its confusing me Ant", he pushed his head to Ants collar bone. "I dont know how to handle myself now.I dont know how to put up with all these emotions. I cant.."

"Shh Decs..I know ...I didnt then. But when I saw that video, I realised the pain you might have gone through , you were right to be angry, sad or even reckless. But throwing our career and reputation was not a great move pal.  Ali was right. ITV could have lost their trust in you" . Dec was about to cut in but Ant held him tight.

"I am not asking you to forgive anyone or ignore  what they did to you. Infact I had already asked Ali to take necessary actions against whoever responsible and we were about to discuss that with you. Did you think me or Ali would let the people who used your feelings against you alone Dec? You should have known us better. We will find a way for everything Dec,   
Together  
I will fight the world with you Declan, but I cant fight you. Please listen to us Decs"

"I know Ant. I am so sorry . Past few hours were terrible An...th". The sobs came in full power and he couldnt believe how much he had cried today.

"Stop it man", Ant said with tearful voice. "You are making me emotional you numphy Scrappy Doo. Why are we acting like a couple, making up ?"

He heard a muffled laugh from his chest. "Because we are. Wanna kiss and make up?"

"Kiss yourself peahead", Ant retorts with a smile.

"Umm...was worth a try"

Ant couldnt hold the laughter this time. He sobers when he see Dec relaxing against him. "We will find a way Decs, we always do".

Dec nods from his chest snuggling closer."You already said that".   
Ant rolled his eyes for that.

"Err.. Dec.. I think you have to talk to Ali. You made her so worried mate. First, the news of me burning... " he regretted saying that when Dec tensed in his hold.

"Ohh sorry..."

"Hmm"

He tightened his hold, placing Dec literally on his lap... "Then to worry how you could have handled the news. Then to get the shock of a lifetime knowing you want to pull out our contract with BGT, then to cope up with your stubborness and your infamous Scrappy power,  she deserves much more than an apology lad" 

"I know Ant .But  I dont know how to face her. How can I apologise for all those things I said and did?"

"It is so clear that she is not angry at you. But just talk. Let her know you didn't mean any of that...  Talk to her. You remember what I said to you when you told me you want to propose her? That After Anne and Me, she is the only one who could handle you? It is as true as it could be, Decky"

Dec hugged Ant tightly before letting him stand up. "I am so sorry mate", Ant rubbed his reddening cheek slowly and shuffle his hair much to his annoyance. After giving a cheeky wink, he walks out of the room.  
Dec could hear voices outside and a moment later, Ali enters.

"Ali.. I.."

He didnt had to complete his sentence as she did it for him. She took his face in her hands and kissed his salty lips letting him pour in all struggles and reliefs of the day.

*************

Ant had come out of his room not only because he want to leave his friend with his wife for sometime but also because there was something or rather someone important waiting outside.

"How is he?" Stephen asked when he came out

"Tired, emotional, cant blame him".He rubbed his face and forehead in exhaustion.

"Here you go" Stephen offers him a glass of water.

"Thanks mate not only for this but for everything you did for us today"

"Come on Ant.."

"No Stevey, I cant think what would have happened if you hadnt thought about Declan. If you had not held him to you while he broke down on stage, I dont know what could have happened to him. It kills me each time to think of that"

"Then dont think Ant,  and  I was standing in the opposite wing. I clearly saw his broken face and I just acted to my instinct. If I hadnt reached there, someone else would have done that"

"No Stephen, you gave him the comfort I was bound to give at that moment. You held him to your chest while he cried for me. I cant be more thankful". Ant felt tears in his eyes and turned his head to hide it from Stephen. 

"You are my friend Ant, both of you. And I honestly regret holding him" Stephen smirks showing him a purple bruise on his arm.

Ant laughed at that "He could be rather violent sometimes"

"Unbelievable" 

Ant shocked Stephen by pulling him in for a hug. "Thank you Stevey, for everything". Ant said tightening his hold.

"Its okey Ant. I know"

"Do you think we gave them both enough privacy for one day? We have to discuss things" .

Stephen was about to barge in when Ant said "Knock, nonsense"

Stephen laughed at that and knocked  
"Come in.. " they heard Dec and entered to find the owner of the voice sitting on the couch with his arms wrapped around Ali.

Stephen couldnt help being jealous of that. "Someone's feeling cozy today.  Oh how I regret myself for being single". Dec gives him a stern unamused look and shifts his eyes to show him who he was with. Stephen literally bite his tongue ,glad that Ant didnt see the short eye to eye conversation.

Dec got up from his seat and hugged Stephen. "Thank you Stevey"

"Come on you lot. Stop thanking me. Its embarrassing you know" 

"Yeah thats why we are doing it nonsense " Dec grinned at him

"Unbelievable "

"So, what are we going to do? I am sure the press will be typing all sort of stories by now. How can we show people the real story. Or should we?" Ali piped in

"I think we should. Its more safe to tell the truth than watch the press roast us". Dec said, looking at Ant.

"Are you okey with that Decs?"

"Come on Ant.. didnt I just say we have to do that?"

"But how can we do that?"

"Err guys.. I might have something to confess to you lot. I hope you dont take me wrong"

"Shoot it out Stevey" , Ant said placing a hand on his shoulders 

"When you guys were in your own bubble out there, I saw cameras looking up eager to capture it all. And I did something rather weird.  
I asked Roy to shoot it all so that no one could make any stories out of it"

Ant, Dec and Ali looked at Stephen in shock. Suddenly Ali hugged him close and thanked him in earnest. "You are an Angel Stevey" . Stephen blushed a little at that. "I think we should do something with it before the paps could do anything"

Suddenly Rachel blurted into the room. "Uhh Sorry..but.."

"What is it Rachel? you here?"

"Yeah Ali I tried to call you . Where are your phones? Do you know what is happening now?"

"What is it Rachel?" Ant asks worried.

"Some people had sold the footages of your fight to the papers. Twitter is down on its heels.. Memes of Ant slapping Dec is everywhere!!   
The response is terrible and ITV was on our phone asking explanation. Social media is in wreck. Evening tabloids are printing the stories of your fight. We couldnt stop it.   
The whole nation want to know what happened"

She said looking at the ashen faces infront of her

"You better get some explanation done"

 

 

TBC


	9. Facing It

Third POV

For the four people in that room, it felt as if the air was becoming heavy. Ant sat heavily on the couch, his hands on his head. "What have I done..." 

Dec looked at Ant in disbelief. "What?! You? You did the right thing Ant"

" you are saying this?"

"Yes I am. Its good that I am guilty as well Ant, so lets toast"

Stephen looked at them in disbelief Seriously? They can banter about anything!

Dec involuntarily checked the phone to realise he had kept it on silent. His display was covered with text and missedcall alerts. But when he switched the data on, his phone literally trembled. "Bullocks!! What are they writing about us! Its all shit man"

Ant looked at him in disbelief. "How many times had we told you  not to read the bits and picks of Twitter? Leave it to rest, man!" 

Dec was getting more uncomfortable "Ant... we better call our moms"

"Ohh no.. I never thought of that"

Ali knew something had to be done immediately and she without delay wore her manager attire (not literally) "Rachel, call Georgia and inform her about the events, ask her to connect our publicity agents. Also call our  lawyers and ask them whether we could put the truth out and the possible charges we could conjure against anyone for this. Stephen,  call Roy and ask him to meet me with the tape at the editors room alone. Ant, Dec never respond to any tweets or texts until we decide what to do. And if any of the producers or crew members try to contact you, ignore them and inform me"

Everyone looked at her in total awe. Dec, with a little bit of pride.   
"What?!" She asked Dec

"Did I tell you today how much I love you?"

"Shut up Dec" she blushed "I will be right back guys, please try to stay in" She gave a pointed look at Dec, who smirked at her "I will call both moms and other friends/family. But please dont respond to anyone. Okay? Not until we figure something out"

They all nod at her. She is always right in such cases of sensational outbreaks. They were very much private individuals and they have got the best team to make sure that it stays so. And thats why even silly stories that come out of their closets are national news. As Ali and Rachel left them, Stephen went out to call Roy and Ant and Dec were left alone.

"Are okay Decky?"

"I dont know. I cant believe the sort of stories emerging"

"How many times we had told you not to read such craps"

"Me not reading it wont make it invisible would it? People are seeing it, following it and commenting on it"

"This is not the first time pal, we have had the worst"

"Its not the press, the producers or the critics. Its the people Ant, our viewers, our fans"

"They will understand. If not now, surely after they get to know the truth"

"What would they think of me?"

"You know our lot, dont you? They will love you more for standing by me and even more for fighting with Ali on me. And inturn hate me for hurting you"

"It was not on you and also they will understand why you did that once they get to know the whole story"

"See, I told you. And once they know the truth they will adore you more. Just like me"

"You adore me?"

"You doubt that?" Ant asks batting his eyes.

"Your eyelashes are long and cute mate, but save it for the other, I am taken"

"Bad call right?" Ant winks at him "Wonder where Stephen is"

"So thats the one you have saved it for. Now you are talking"  
They both laugh at that scenario.

" I wonder what people would do if you came out of the closet with Stephen and not me"

"You speak as if I am inside it"

"What?!! Ant, why didnt you tell me mate?" Stephen enters the room in mock despair.

"Get off him Stevey, he's mine" Dec retorts.

Three of them laugh at that, Dec's laughter resonating through the room.

There are many moments like this when Stephen was taken back by their efforts to keep the air light.    
"So boys, I would really like to stay here and laugh with you, but I still have a show to do. Lucky yousome who always get a break whenever the judges call for one"

"Dont jinx it man, get out" Ant pushes him out of the room.

"Unbelievable" Stephen gives Ant a parting hug and wave at Dec.

After Stephen exits, Dec moves to sit close to Ant, with Ant's arms on the couch around his shoulders and Dec's shoulder leaning back to Ant's touch

"Let me make us a drink"  
Ant moves to their minibar and pour small amount of coke in two wine glasses.

"I dont think we should get drunk today" Ant says giving a glass to Dec and resuming the position.

"I kind of hoped we could"

"Me too.."

"What about watching the last Newcastle match?"

"You have it on your phone?"

"Yupp ready as ever"

"Good that we know Newcastle won it yesterday. Otherwise I dont think my heart can take anymore shocks today"

Dec laughed at that and took his phone to watch the match. They watch it in whole concentration, occassionally cracking jokes or rage. They feel the tension slipping and get more relaxed. They couldnt resist the happy squeak whenever their team score the goals even if they know who did that and when. They laughed hard at the after show commentaries, knowing half of the panel failed to predict the winners.

For a few precious moments, they forgot everything else.

******

A few minutes had passed till they hear a knock and Ali enters without bothering to be asked-in, with director Jonathan and producers Paul, Charlie, Amelia, Lee and a new man called Samuel Worth, who had replaced Richard for this season's auditions. Dec visibly closed his fists seeing them, and no one fails to notice that. They all looked at each other in silence and hesitatation, air between them charging with uncertainities.

Then, Charlie broke the silence. "Dec, listen to me..."

 

TBC


	10. Facing Them

Third POV

Charlie was the first to speak "Dec, listen to me.." he said, taking a few steps closer to Dec.  
"Please dont take any decisions in haste. You know we didnt mean to hurt either of you"

"You didnt mean to? But you know us right? All these years we have worked for you and dont you know what I would go through if you put my friend on fire infront of me?"

"Calm down Sir" Samuel retorted "We didnt know you would lunge for the fire. We thought you would be more composed and professional" .  
Everyone stared at him in shock, Amelia with a warning look.

Dec took few steps forward and pulled him by the collar "So it was you wasnt it? It was him? Jonathan?" 

Dec was about to lunge at him when Charlie pulled him back.  
"Dec.. he is new. He thought.."

"And you all agreed to it. How many years have we been working for you? Is this how you return all that?"

"As if we are not paying you well enough" Samuel said under his breath enough for everyone to hear.

This time, it was Ant who reacted "What?!! We are getting paid to host the show not to watch each other dying"

"I thought it was in your job description to get into an act.." Samuel was heating up now,  
but Paul bid him to stop "Stop it Sam. Unfortunately they are right. We all did a grave mistake and we have to take the responsibility. We want to correct it"  
He turned to others "Please tell us how we can help you with this situation"

"We dont need... " Dec started but Ali intervened. 

Ali : "We have to talk about it. Roy have the clips of what actually happened out there. There must be something we can do with it"

Charlie : "I think we should show it to the public before things go out of our hands"

Lee: "But how? We are at the auditions . We wont be on air atleast for 2 months and there is no slot to add any sort of episodes on ITV"

Ali :"He is right. But I had a word with ITV and they asked whether we would air it in any chat shows with an interview by Ant and Dec"

Amelia : "But that could be risky. Many questions will be asked"

Rachel : "Not if the show is done by our lot, like This Morning? Philip and Holly can help us"

Samuel: "What are you all on about? Do you know what would happen to us if they try to clear their name?"

Paul : "What do you mean?"

Samuel : "People would know why Dec wanted to leave the show. It will affect us"

Ali: "We can help you with that. The truth wont affect BGT in any manner"

Samuel: "I bet it will. Someone here clearly hold rage against us"

Dec: "Yeah, I do. But not on screen" 

Samuel: "You cant blame me for your friend losing his calm with you"

Dec: "But I could for putting me in a situation that made him do that"

The heated debate was interrupted by Stephen entering "Ohh should I be here?"

Samuel: "No"

Paul: "Yes.. come in Stephen. We might need your help"

Stephen walk to them giving Samuel a stern look   
"So whats the verdict?"

Charlie: "I have an idea"

Lee : "About time"

Charlie: "Why cant we upload the video to our social networks? Twitter, FB, Insta.."

Samuel: "We cant clear any gossips in Official Sites. Its for showcasing talents I reckon"

Paul looked at Samuel as if he want to strangle that man   
"If so, then we could air it in BGMT accounts with a clip of Stephen interviewing Ant and Dec as part of the show and share it to the BGT accounts. Would that do for you Sam?"

Charlie: "Thats a great idea"

Stephen: "I am in. About time we got more followers. You are for sure our bankers"

Ant: "Shut up Stephen. What do you think Ali?"

Ali: "I think we should go with Paul's idea"

Dec: "I am in" 

Ant saw Dec sharing an uncomfortable stare with Samuel. He placed his arms around Dec and pulled him close.

Charlie: "Thats done then. Stephen, call your team. You can do the interview either from one of the dressing rooms or the BGMT box whichever you feel confortable with. We will make arrangements to upload it with an edited version of the clip after discussing what all we can show the crowd "

Samuel: "We will be ruined"

Paul : "No. I believe in Ali. These guys never broke our trust"

Dec : "But that doesnt mean it would stop me from speaking to our lawyer"

Ant : "Decky!"

Amelia : "No Ant, he is right. I hope you change your mind Dec, but we are ready to face any charges you report"

Dec: "Not you Ami, I knew you guys wont do that to me. That's what hurted the most"

Lee : "We didnt, Dec . But we are equally reponsible for what happened"

Ali: "We should get going"

Jonathan and Amelia hugged Ant and Dec and everyone except Samuel shook their hands . Samuel gave Dec a dangerous look clearly understanding whom he is going to sue. Dec didnt flinch at bit , instead mirrored the look Samuel had on. Ant was a little worried about the way Samuel was looking at Dec. So once the producers were out, Ant excused himself and followed them.  
"Samuel?"

 

********

Everyone stopped to turn for a moment but all except Samuel continued walking ahead  
"What?"

"I want to have a word with you" Ant said when he reached where Samuel stopped. Ant placed a hand on Samuel's chest and pushed him to the wall behind him, their face inches closer   
"I saw the look you gave Declan. I am saying this for the first and the last time. The fault is yours. And if you try to get back to Dec in any manner or hurt him in anyway, you will wish you were dead"

"I never knew you were so close" Samuel smirked.

Ant pushed him hard effectively pinning him to the wall. "We are . I will do anything to protect him. Anything! If I have to fight with the whole world for that, I will do that. If I have to kill someone for that, I will do that. He is the most important person in my life and if needed, I will forsake everything I have to protect him. Hope you never forget that. If Dec gets hurt in anyway, I will be the first to find you. Never forget this Samuel, Dec is a part of me and hurting him will be the biggest mistake you can ever do in your life.   
Stay. away. from. him!!"

Samuel was looking at him with terrified eyes. Ant was in no way bluffing . He pulled Ant's hands away from him and walked on swiftly.

Ant let out a sigh to control himself and turned to see Ali staring at him.

" He was the one Ant, we shouldnt let him go"

"I know Ali. He will try to get back on Dec. I cant let that happen. I wont let him touch our Declan. Not while I am breathing"

"Calm down Ant, We are here and I will make sure Samuel wont be here for long"

Ant smirked at that "Good". They turn to see Rachel walking towards them.

Rachel: "Everything is ready. We have decided to do the interview from your dressing room. Let's go"

Ant took a deep breath to settle down.

"Yeah, lets go"

 

 

 

TBC


	11. The Interview

Third POV

Ant returned to the dressing room to find rather tired but clean faced Dec walking out of it.  
"Ohh there you are! I was thinking why you were taking so long to get back from there"

"Well, I ahh.. What?!"

"I hope Samuel is okay.. you might have terrified him to bones"

" How did you..."

"Come on Ant, I didnt miss the look you gave us. And for someone to silently threaten me and you to stay there quiet, thats not happening"

" Good work, Sherlock. Now get out and let me change. Bet I look rotten"

" You always do" Dec sprints out of the room before Ant could catch him. 

Ant changes into fresh Jeans, T shirt and Jumper all the while thinking what to say on the interview. Just as he finishes, he hear a knock and open the door to reveal Rachel.  
"What is it Rachel?" 

"I had Georgie on phone. She and Ali is discussing about filing a report against Samuel. We want to know your opinion"

"What did Dec say?"

"He want to sue him. Thats why we are thinking about filing a report with Dec against Samuel"

"Ant and Dec"

"What?"

" You heard me. Any report against that man will go by the name of our firm- Ant and Dec"

"But you?"

"I wont leave him to face it all alone. It will go by our name"

"Sure. I am happy you thought that Ant, I will tell Ali about that"

"Thank You Rachel"  
Rachel gives him an affectionate smile and leaves.

A while later Jonathan, Dec, Stephen and his team arrives . They all enter the room and after a short discussion on what all to reveal, they gets ready for the show.

Jonathan: "Okey guys, put your fake laughs on and Play it cool. Roll the camera."

And the camera rolls. 

***************

Stephen: "Hi all, welcome to the BGMT website, with me THE one and only host of the show Stephen Mulhern. I am joined here by two unfamiliar faces of the telly..... its Ant and Dec"

Ant: "Hi guys"

Dec : "Hii"

Stephen: "So Ant, Dec.."

Ant: "Yes Stephen"

Stephen: "It was a tough day right?"

Ant: "I know what you mean. Yeah I just came back dying"

Stephen : "You did"

Dec : "And I called our insurance agency for nothing" he pulled a face at that, making them all laugh.

Stephen : "But Dec, by now you should have called your managers. I cant believe you are still with him"

Dec : "What? About the fight? I didnt call the managers. But I did call his mam. How dare he slap me infront of you all"

Ant: "You asked for it"

Stephen: "Did you?"

Dec: "I might have"

Ant: "I will fill you in"

Stephen: "Yeah, go on"

Ant : "So everything starts after I came back from my death"

Stephen: "It was rather a horrifying event I might add, and to the viewers who doesnt have a clue on what happened.."

Ant : "Basically a magician came and burned me on stage"

Stephen: "If you put it that way. I was trying a bit more subtle approach"

Ant : "Thats what happened. He did that and our Scrappy-Doo here had no idea that it was a trick"

Dec : "I hadnt a clue and it all went to become a horrible nighmare for me"

Stephen: "It was terrible to handle you. I still have bruises on me."

Dec : "I am sorry"

Ant: "You should be! I saw the clip afterwards and you were struggling from his hold to run for the fire. You thought I was dead."

Dec: "Everyone thought so. Even you Stephen "

Stephen laughs at that. "Actually, I did. But I was a bit more composed , you know"

Ant: "See.. thats what happened. Everyone took it well but the Mr. Showoff here went all Robbie Williams and without my knowledge, went to quit the show. The show! Could you believe it?"

Stephen laughed at that "No I cant"

Ant: "And after returning from that diva ordeal, he let that all on his wife! His wife,Stephen...."

Dec : "Who happens to be our manager I might add"

Ant: "....Forcing me to slap him to stop ruining his marriage"

Stephen: "Good work Ant, or he might have ended up in the court for domestic abuse" 

Ant: "Or even worst on Jeremy Kyle Show"

Everyone laughed at that, this time genuine laugh spreading the room. This is why they are the top blokes of live telly Jonathan mused in respect. Stephen gave Ant a grateful look and continued.  
Stephen : "So basically, you slapped him to save his marriage"

Dec: "So he says"

Ant : "Yes. I dont want him to be single. We all know that he is the least domesticated person in the world and I am not going to cook and wash up for him for the rest of my life"

Stephen: "He might even move in with you"

Dec : (Whispers aloud) "Well, that was my plan" He gives his cheeky laugh

Ant : "No way. I had lived with him in the past and I am not going through that again"

Dec: "But dont you think slapping me was too much?"

Ant : "Now as I think of it.."

Dec : "Yeah go on, go on"

Ant : "What are you bickering about? I saved your marriage though"

Dec: "He did actually. I was rather cross at Ali, my wife"

Stephen : "Rather? I heard every word you said. And you know what Amanda said to me after? If she was in Ali's place, she might have punched you in your face before Ant had the chance to slap you"

Dec: "Did she? I might even deserve that"

Ant: "He is horribly stupid when he is angry. He forgets everything around"

Dec: "I do" He grins cheekily at the camera "I am not happy about it though. I did apologise to Ali later"

Stephen: "And how's she? Still with you?"

Dec: "Ohh yeah. She knows me you know, we had been together for long. But I am honestly thankful to Ant for stopping me. If not, I would be looking for a Bachelor Pad by now"

Stephen: "You happy that he slapped you?!"

Dec:"It was painful,but yeah.I know why he did that. We know each other so well and Ant would never intentionally hurt me ....I hope.But genuinely,I am not angry or hurt that he hit me.I deserved that"

Ant:"I am not proud of hitting my only friend but I should say that I felt a hell lot of satisfaction after that"

Dec: "Yeah I think he just let out all those fury he had built up for 30 years"

Stephen: "I dont think that. You are still alive"

Dec: "Watch it Stephen"

Stephen : "So everything okay between Ant and Dec?"

Dec: "Yeah!"  
Dec puts his arms around Ant who hugs him closer. Dec goes all camp and puts his head on  
Ant's shoulder. "Every couple have their rough moments Stevey"

Ant:"Yeah. Atleast now we could finally put that Board Game story aside"

Dec: "No way..no.. no.. way"

Stephen: "There you go, it takes more than a few slaps to pull Dec from Ant clearly closing all our hopes for the next NTAs. Sorry Phil, Derm. To our viewers out there..."

Ant: "One viewer Stephen"   
Everyone laugh at that. Dec, harder than all.

Stephen: "Shut up you.See you later everyone. Dont forget to follow our account for more news from the audition venues"

Ant: "And if any of you are out there with a unique talent of your own, find your way here"

Dec : "We are waiting for you. Bye bye.."

Ant : "Bye"

Stephen: "See you later"

The camera focused a bit on Stephen's face, who winked at it and..

"Thats it" Jonathan said "Good work Roy. And guys, that was amazing"

Stephen :"That was! I cant believe you played it so cool. You even said things out of the scripts that we planned. It was all so natural"

Ant:"Being together for so long wouldnt go for nothing Stevey"

Jonathan :"Let us air it and see what happens"

Dec:"I hope they get the truth"

Jonathan:"Lets take a break. The auditions would start any moment. We extended the break to a bit. So you have to stay a bit late today"

Dec: "We cant complaint. Can we?"

Jonathan laughed at that "No; eat something and get to the wings"

Ant: "Sure mate. Bye Stephen, Roy and thank you again guys"

Dec:"See you lot later"

They give all a parting hug and everyone files out of the room.

When they were left all alone, Ant turned to Dec "So, how do you think that went?"

"Hope that went okey. You dont like to live with me right?"

"Absolutely. I am not having you back"

They both laughed at that. "Thanks Ant.. I dont know what I would do without you"

"Me too Dec, well you know that"

"I do" he winks at Ant "Lets get something to eat and get over with the day's auditions"

********

They arrive back to the wings just when the auditions are about to start. By then the interview had been uploaded with the video and toppled the networks upside down... again!   
Stephen had already beaten them to their box when they arrived   
"You saw the hits our account got? Unbelievable!"

Dec : "I am happy they believed us"

Ant : "We never lied Declan, we just played it down"

Stephen: "Anyway ,your fans are going nuts about your friendship. How do you guys do this everytime"

Ant: "We have each other Stephen,its easy when you have someone to look out for you"

Stephen: "I am a bit jealous now"

Dec: "You have the two of us"

Stephen: "And?"

Ant: "And what?"

Stephen:"Whats the joke?"

Dec: "No joke. You have two of us to look after you. Period"

Stephen: "Thanks guys"

Ant: "As long as you stay out of our box. Get out"

Stephen: "Some people.."

Stephen gives them both a parting hug and wanders to the other side of the stage. Dec turns to Ant.

"Everything's gonna be fine. Right?"

Ant puts an arm around Dec "We still have the reports to file. Think again Declan. You need it?"

"I do"

"Okey. But promise me you would never do anything on your own"

"I promise Ant"

"Good" He pulls Dec close to him and wait for the auditions to resume.

They both fail to notice Samuel standing meters away, looking at them with anger and loth 

"I will make sure that the reports wont go out"

 

 

TBC


	12. Fear

Third POV

A thoroughly beaten duo travelled to their hotel later that night. The auditions are not at London, forcing them to stay at a hotel nearby.  When they scramble out of the car, they are temporarly blinded by cameras flashing. Dec is the first to get out and  gives his cutest smile at them all not showing his fatigue or annoyance. He is followed by a rather grumpy Ant and smirking Ali. They all walked  into the hotel and to their respective rooms.

Dec's POV

Me, Ali and Ant entered the hotel through a swarm of paps. Its hard to avoid them anywhere. We were all  dog tired and Just needed a nap. Ant looked rather sleepy and knowing his trouble of sleep..I wished he sleeps well today. I did give him a hard day. Ant catch me looking at him and smile "I am fine Dec, you too look tired"

Ali look at us in awe " All these years and it still freaks me out that you two can read each other's mind"

We laugh at that. As we reach our floor, Ant goes ahead to his room.I suddenly feel sad . Even with Ali beside me, I cannot take my eyes off him walking ahead, alone.  
I see Ali looking at us in turns, probably having the same thought "He looks so lonely"

"I know" I say to her

"Go to him Declan, I will be fine"

"I dont think he will like that. I hope he sleeps well tonight"

"You are frowning, Dec"

"I am afraid Ali, after last year, everytime I see him skipping out  his usual self, I am afraid"

We were standing at the corridor staring the room three doors away, into which Ant had disappeared.

"I think he is afraid for you Dec, you both love each other to a point where nothing goes by touching just one of you. Everything affects you both in the equal measures"

I look at Ali in abandon "I will be so lost without him, Ali"

"I know. Get in and get fresh Declan, and speak to him. I know you are tired. But he needs you"  
I look at her with love and affection.

"I know you both Dec, stay in if you need. I will be okay here by myself"

She pass me the key card and I open our room. I get into the shower and let the water clean my mind. My mind wanders to the day's events. I am sure Ant might need someone now. I should be with him. But there is also someone else I should be with, for a different reason.I now  understand what Ant had said to me earlier Ali deserves a hell lot more than an apology.

After making sure I am clean enough, I call out " Ali.. "

"Yes Declan?"

"Come here please"

"Yes?"

"You stink horrible, you know?"

"What me?"

"Yeah. Lets get you fresh"

"Declan!!!"  
She giggle, as I pull her to the shower with me.

******

Ant's POV

I can feel two pairs of eyes on me as I walk to my room. I had played sportly for Dec's sake knowing so well that he is worrying about me.I cant look at them now. He will clearly figure out my distress once he see my face.I close the door behind me and sink to my knees.The six-star plush hotel feels so depressing.. and lonely.  
Its been like this for days; for months to be fair. But never have I felt so lonely and depressed. My mind wanders to Lisa.  I am sure Ali had called her. We still care for each other. It hurts so much to be away. But this is more bearable than what we had to go through each day for the past couple of years. No one knows what could happen in their life. I had put aside being happy and hopeful since dad left my family. Its tough to love sometimes. Still people came barging into my heart. And made a favourable portion for me in their hearts and life. Mom always held me close. How strong was she when he left. Even after finding Davey she is as independent as ever. How much I admire her. Then there is Sarah. How many times had I looked at her sleeping peacefully and feared thinking whether I could help her with  growing up. Then Emma came to our family. She was always our true sister. My grandparents - They were like my surrogate parents. If not for them, I would never have known how to love.

Then there is Declan. Declan Joseph Oliver Donnelly; cute name for a cute fella. He came to my life unexpectedly and made it more colourful and light. He doubled my joys and halved my sorrows.We held each other through every ups and downs. He taught me to trust people. More than that, he gave me both respect and love, and for my atmost disbelief, fought half of his girlfriends for my friendship.  
And today, I forgot that all. I had hurt him. I know I did it for him, but I never thought I could ever hurt him, nor did he. 

Unexpected things are happening in my life.  Lisa loved me with everything she had. I never wanted any other woman. Her admiration for Dec and her respect for our friendship and her sheer patience with me made me love her more.  What went wrong? When did we become so cold to each other even when we loved each other? Isn't love enough to be happy? 

I felt my eyes heating up and tears leaking. I always played the strong lad for Declan. But now that I am alone, I cant control it.   
I put my arms around my knees and breath hard, until the sobs take my senses out

Third POV

It was after a good 35mins that Dec finally emerged from his room, giving Ali a deep kiss on her lips "You know I love you. Dont you?"

"I know Dec. Dont worry. I know why everything happened today. You were worried about Ant.I can understand that. I was too. We will find a  way Declan. But right now, our priority is you, Ant and your career"

"I know. Thanks pet" He kissed her in cheeks and went to Ant's room. He knocked the door "Ant, Ant its me, open up"

Ant was still sobbing on the floor and he quickly scrambled up and cleaned his face.  
As the door opened Dec was taken aback by Ant's bloodshot eyes and blotchy face. He entered closing the door behind him and hugged Ant tightly.  
"Let it all go mate. Dont hold it"

"I am okey Decky"

"Dont play it down.Not infront of me Ant. Never hide yourself from me"

Ant just looked at Dec and after a split of a second, sat down on the couch nearby sobs taking control of him.

"Ooh Ant.. come on. Heyy.. shh.. its okey Ant everything will be fine" Dec hugs Ant and soothes him  
"Ohh Ant how much have you suffered mate. You should study to let it all go"

"I know.. I..just..I cant forgive myself Dec. whatever the reason be, what I did..I am so,so sorryy"

"Come on Ant, you know I am not angry at you nor am I sad. Not because of that anyway. Calm down man. All is well; we are okey"

"I am afraid Dec. Its like the start of something else. I can feel it. Promise me Decky, promise me you will never do anything on your own. Atleast not before telling me. I cant lose you man.. I cant..."

"Ant , I know. And I cant see you like this.Hear this now and hear this clear : I will never leave you . And I know it was reckless for me to take my own decisions and anger some stupid like Samuel"

"I dont trust him Dec"

"Nor do I. But we are together Ant, and our team had already filed a report with my name against his"

"Our name"

"What?"

"I asked Rachel to add mine too. It will go out with our firm's name on it. Ant&Dec"

"Ant! But why?He will turn against you too"

"So what? He is already against me by being against you, Declan. It doesn't make any difference and I am in no chance whats so ever, leaving you to face him alone. Its our fight Declan and we do it together"

Dec hugged him tight. "You stink man, go and have a shower. Good that we had our dinner at the auditions. I am really up for a sleep. Mind if I bunk with you?"

"Go to your wife Dec. You have a lot to apologise mate"

"I already did that Ant.. while we were in the shower. I apologised to her worth for her to remember for days"

"Spare the details Decky. And anyway, I figured out the worth remembering part when you came in with those flushed cheeks"

Dec blushed deep at that "Is that so obvious?"

"To me ? Yeah. I have known you for years man. Only a girl can put that on your cheeks"

"Really? I havent ever tried it with a lad. Wanna try and test?"

"Nope"

"Suit yourself. You dont know what you are missing .Come back fast. I am sleepy. I want a cuddle"

"Go. To. Your. Wife."

"I want yours "

"You cheeky.." Ant throws a towel at him "I will be right back"

Dec's laugh softened when the bathroom door closed behind Ant. I want you with me Ant, I will be lost without you. I cant think of a life without you

Dec switched the telly and waited for Ant to come back. He was already nodding off when  Ant came . Ant smiled at him and slowly lifted his head to keep it on his chest. Dec instantly wrapped his arms around Ant and snuggled closer.

"What are we Declan?"

"They call us soulmates"

"We might be, you know"  
Ant involuntarily combed his hands through Dec's hair coaxing him to sleep and fell himself to an unexpectedly deep slumber while doing so

                         ********

Dec was jolted awake by a knock on the door. He lifted his head from Ant's shoulder. They were now half lying on the sofa. He laughed at the prospect of anyone seeing them like that. How wrong they would be. He opened the door to see a glowing Ali before him.

"Good morning Antho...Ohh Declan, isnt Ant up yet?"

"No. I wonder why. He usually gets up before me. He looked beat yesterday"

"Yeah.I bet. See, I have to go to James Grant today and have to file that report. I will come to your dressing room during one of the break hours to get your signatures"

"You knew Ant's demand to add his name too?"

"Yes I did"

"That could be dangerous Ali. Samuel will turn against him too"

"I cant stop Ant from doing that, Can I? And also, if things were the other way around..you would have done the same. Right?"

"Mm I guess so. Hope all ends well"

"Me too. Bye darling.. get ready and move to the auditions fast.. here is the keycard to our room"

"Okey dear, love you so much"  He kissed her on her mouth, going for a peck, but it slowly becomes more breathy and deep.  
"Get a room you lot! I cant believe I woke up to that"

Ali laughed seeing Ant staring at them "That's a good start to the day Ant, instead of a disheaveled best friend"

"Get going Ali" Dec rolled his eyes at her

"Love you take care.. you too Ant"

"Yeah, See ya pet"

"Come on Ant, we have to get ready... Work"

"Ohh yeah. Dont know what the day have for us"

********

As they walked to the building after Joe dropped them, they knew they were already late but was taken aback when they saw Simon's car at the parking lot.   
"We are not that late are we?" asks Dec.

"No looks like he is early. Wonder why"

As they enter the reception, they find Simon talking to a security guard they had never seen, possibly getting to know him. As they approached they overheard Simon "I didnt know about new placements. Nice to meet you anyway.."

Dec:  "Hey Si.. you are early?"

Simon :"Yeah. Guys, I just wanted to apologise to you both"

Ant :" What happened today? you feeling sick or something?"

Simon: "I am serious Ant.I am sorry that I let that happen"

Dec: "Its not your fault"

Simon : "If my team is responsible..."

Ant: "They are not. Well, not everyone of them"

Simon: "I know. Samuel was just a temporary replacement. I genuinely regret that now. I will kick him out as soon as possible. Trust me Ant, I wont do anything to hurt you"

Dec : "I doubt that"

Simon: "I was not talking about you" He winks at Dec

Three of them laugh together "Seriously guys, if you need any sort of help in this, ask me.I have already spoken to Paul and Charlie. You are not alone in this"

Dec: "We know. Thanks Simon"

They give a short hug to Simon and three of them walked together to their dressing rooms.

No one noticed the new security guard talking to his sleeves.

******

The auditions were going in full swing. Dec was talking to one of the crew members when Ant moved away to fix some confusion back stage. The place was uncomfortably packed with people, with the production crew running different ways. Dec saw Ant talking to a little girl who was a part of a ballet dance troop. He scanned his eyes amongst them all but glued to the spot when he saw Samuel amongst the crowd, behind them all, behind Ant! 

Dec felt his heart sprinting in his chest when Samuel slowly walked straight to Ant .

What if Samuel have some weapons with him? What if he hurts Ant in anyway? Dec ran to the spot where they were standing . 

His run was interrupted by passing crews and auditionees and when he reached the spot, he was all alone. No samuel, No Ant!

He felt his heart skipping a beat and eyes tearing up with fear for his friend. Anthony.. suddenly  he felt a hard hand on his shoulders and he turned with a squeak to see Ant looking at him in wonder.   
"What is it Declan? Why are you so frightened?"

Dec, without a beat pulled him to a long hug Thank Lord

"What is it Decky?"

But Dec's thoughts were elsewhere Samuel you bitch! He bloody well know how to hurt him ; to hurt them. 

Dec pried himself away from Ant's hold and walked straight to the wings.  Alone.

He didnt notice the new off   
stage-crew talking to his sleeves.

TBC


	13. Stay Away

Ant's POV

I don't know why Dec is acting so distant. He doesnt laugh at the acts or dance with me. Infact, he doesn't even look at me. Joey look at me  while holding his camera to know whether to shoot or not with Dec in this mood. I could only shrug at him.

Once I felt my patience starting to slip, I decided to ask him   
"Dec, what is it man? "

"What?"

"We are on camera lad. Why are you  so ....  different?"

" I cant always act whenever the camera is on my face Can I?"

"Act? We never act on BGT Declan. I am asking why you are not in your usual self? "

"Stop it Ant. I am fine"

"No you are not"

"Whats your problem Ant? Why can't you just leave me alone? "

"Alone? Where is this coming from Dec?"

"Nowhere! Why are you always tagging behind me like this for no reasons? None of my other friends do that!!"

Ant felt as if he had been slapped on cheek . Never have Dec talked anything like this to him before. This was so unlike his best friend  
"So thats what I am for you? One of your friends?"

Dec couldn't answer it. Ant felt his eye stinging. Without a word, he turned, walked past Joey and went for his dressing room. 

Third POV

Dec felt a weight leaving his chest only to be replaced by hurt What am I doing to him

But Joey couldnt hold it "What did you do Dec? This is the first time you had hurt him infront of us all. All these years, and you never ever did anything to make him sad. That is, until now!"

"Some moments ask that from you Joey. I cant let him know what's going through my mind"

"Can I help you Dec? "  
But he knew he cannot because if there is something in Dec's mind that Ant should not know, then it is something that no one should know.

"Its okey mate. Thank you" 

Dec's mind was racing at this point. Should I go to him? Oh no! He went alone! Shit..Shit!! What if someone followed him? What if someone try to hurt him?

He turn suddenly to his cameraman.

"Joey, please cover up for us. I will be right back Okey?"

"Okey"

Dec ran from the wings to Ant's dressing room.

He didnt see the new lighting assistant speaking to his sleeves.

*******

 

Dec entered Ant's room in determination. He was lying on the couch thinking.  
"Get up Ant, I am not doing this on my own. I am sorry if I snapped at you. Get back to the wing now!"

"Only if you say what's nagging you"

"You! You are the one who nags me every single time. Always being a mother hen and not letting me out of sight for a minute . I am sick of it man, so just shut up and get back"

Dec slammed the door shut, leaving a hurt looking Ant alone.  
Dec couldnt hold his own tears and he wiped it on his sleeves.   
As he reached the wings, he see Stephen lingering around. 

"Stevey, Whats it?"

"Heyy was just looking for you.   Where's Ant?"

"Must be coming"

Right on cue, Ant reaches them 

"Hi Ant"

"Hi Stevey"

"Everything fine?"

"Uhh yeah.. cool"

"Okey..  I just wanted to make sure of that. You two looked so different today"

The auditions progressed; so did the tension between Ant and Dec. It didnt go unnoticed by any one around. 

Once the break was called, Dec turns to Ant  
"Ali would be waiting for us at the dressing room. Lets go"    
And walked ahead without waiting for any response.

"Whats with him today?" Stephen comes to Ant.

"I dont know. He just want to get on my nerves, I think"

"Calm down Ant. Only you can control him"

"I dont think I can, this time.  He is acting so distant. I dont know why. Anyway, Ali has asked me to meet at Dec's room. I must be going"

"Okey, catch you later mate"

"Bye Stevie"

Meanwhile Dec was walking, all the while thinking how hurt Ant would be because of his own stupid fear for his friend's safety. He suddenly stop on his feet when he see Samuel emerging from the corridors, connecting the dressing rooms.

Ali!! 

Dec rushed to his room and knock it hard heart going erratic in his chest. The door opens to show a confused Ali  
 "Heyy what is it Dec?"

She tries to kiss him, but he pull away from her.

"We have to go to Ant's dressing room" 

"But why?"

"Please listen to me, Ali. Let's go"  He pull her to the other room. 

A few seconds later, Ant reach there to find Dec's room empty. He opens his own room and see Dec and Ali sitting at the two ends of the same couch.

"Ali.. you said Dec's room"

Dec snapped at that  
"So what? Yours can't be used?"

"What got into you, Declan?" Ali asks

"Get over with the damn procedure Ali"

Both Ant and Ali falls dead silent. After a while, she take their signatures and move close to Dec for a parting hug. But Dec just goes out of the room, consciously letting Samuel see him   
Because of you, you filthy bugger, because of you!

Samuel knew that and he let out a satisfied smile.

Ali and Ant exited the room shortly after, both sharing a confused frown. 

The whole audition day was a disaster for Ant. Never have he felt so uncomfortable during a gig. He always had Dec close to him and he never felt lonely . But today, Dec's being there made him feel awkward, uncomfortable and so so lonely. He was happy when the auditions were over and Dec walked straight to their car, without acknowledging Ant's presence next to him.

Ant just followed him.

In the car also, Dec was buried into twitter  
"Going out to pub tonight, Decs?" Ant tried to start a conversation.

"No" Dec snapped "Gonna order food to our room" Ant was about to retort when door opened.They were there. 

Dec went straight to the lift and let it shut before Ant could reach. Ant could feel frustration, sadness and fury creeping in. Its not about the insult all these caused. It was about his only friend being so distant, that hurts him. What have I done, for him to hate me so much

He reached their floor and as expected, Dec had gone inside his room. He sighed in defeat and went to his own room. 

He didnt see the new door boy speaking to his sleeves

*********

When Ali entered the room later that evening, she knew something was not right. For the first time since she had known her husband, he is at the living room flicking channels absently, and not down the pub with his best mate.

"What is it with you Dec? What's the matter?"

"Shut up Ali. I dont want to talk about anything now"

"Why are you shutting us out, Dec? Talk to me honey, what is it?"

Dec can never lie when Ali plead to him. So he stick with a half truth.

"I am so tired. Wanna sleep"

"Okey"  she kiss his forehead and let him go their bed.

Ali sat on the couch and decided on a channel to watch while waiting for Ant's call for dinner. But when fatigue coursed through her, she made for herself a tea and changed to one of her evening robes, all the while brooding over Dec's behaviour. 

Some half an hour might have passed since Dec went to bed and Ali was suddenly jolted out of a short nap on the couch that she didnt remember falling on. 

She looked around in wonder, focusing her ears at the source of the noise that woke her up and was terrified to know that it came from her husband's room. She felt her breath hitching when she heard that sound again. It was not some sleepy snores that woke her up. But a blood curling wail. She jumped up from the couch in terror and ran to him. She was stopped at the door to their room by a lying Declan, flailing his arms and legs, all the while sobbing and wimpering. She had never seen anything like this happening to him before. And she knew this was not a normal nightmare. 

She swiftly made her way to his side, tried to call him awake.  
"Dec.. Declan..please wake up dear.. Decs.. " But he got more and more agitated, making it hard for her to hold him without hurting herself. 

She neither had the strength nor the experience to calm her crying husband.  Without waiting to think anything else than her frenzied husband, she ran out of the room.

 

 

TBC


	14. Always with You

Meanwhile two rooms apart, Ant was trying hard to remember any instances other than him slapping Dec that would have forced his friend to move away from him.But he found nothing. He felt angry tears in his eyes.  
Why Declan?

Suddenly he hears an urgent knock on his door and quickly open it to find a terrified Ali   
"Ant.. Declan.."

Ant didn't wait for her to finish but closed his door and ran to his friend's room . He entered the bedroom to find a frenzied Declan screaming and wriggling under the sheets. His body was covered in sweat and cheeks flushed with tears and exhaustion Shitt! A nightmare!!! and a terrible one by the sight of it.

"Ant.. do something" Ali was terrified at his side. But Ant had seen this before, multiple times. So it was not the nightmare that Ant is afraid of but the cause of it.

Because, Ant so well know why Declan is having this. 

He slowly moved to Dec's side of the bed and carefully called his name, holding one of his flailing hands, but effectively rewarded with an uncalculated punch on his jaw. Dec increased his fight as if to be free from some invisible bonds, forcing Ant to pin him down roughly. 

"Dec, Decky, wake up kidda, its me mate, Declan.. " Ant coaxed Dec again and again until the flailing of limbs subsided. Ant held a shaking Dec close to him on bed as he was still in deep sleep.  
"Declan.. son.. wake up.. its me Decky, wake up for me kid... Please Declan" 

Hearing Ant's voice, Dec starts to whimper and wriggle out of some invisible hold. Ant strongly holds Dec down , visibly strangling on him and pinning him down. Dec puts up a good fight again to get out of the control, but slows down when he hear or rather vaguely sense, Ant repeatedly calling his name.   
"Dec, son open your eyes, pet. Its me , Anth... everything's fine Decky. Wake up kidda, Please open your eyes Dec"

Dec's eyes fly open and it takes just a split of second for him to recognize the man infront of him. The warm and caring hands were enough for him to realise who it was.  
"Anthony!!.."

He pull Ant's shirt with his hands and fall upon his shoulders crying aloud, putting his arms around Ant's neck and hugging him close  
"Ant.. Anth.."

Ant puts his arms around Dec and hold him close roacking and soothing the crying man. "Shh Decky, it's okey. Everything's fine.. Shh... I am here, I am here .. no one's hurt Decky.. everyone is safe, you are with me pal, I wont let anything happen to you. I wont leave you mate.. I am here shh" 

Dec held Ant tightly as if afraid to let him go. He poured all his fear and terror of the day in thick and rough sobs, now muffled by Ant's dress shirt. As his sobs subside to whimpers, he slowly slide down to Ant's lap for an exhausted sleep. Ant holds Dec close to his stomach and sooths him, rubbing his hands through his hair, wet cheeks, tensed back and trembling neck. Once he feels Dec to be in a deep, relaxed slumber, he visibly relaxes himself, by taking a deep breath and closing his eyes for a moment to control his own emotions. And for the first time since entering the room, acknowledged the presence of another person. 

"Aliii ... dont worry pet"

"Ant !! What was that? I have never.."

"Seen Decky like this? I know"  
Ali was afraid to speak aloud as she doubted it may wake her sleeping husband.

"He wont hear Ali.. he is deep in sleep"

"You know what it was?"

"I have seen him like this" Ant tells with a lump in his throat "Not many times, 3 times to be specific. Three horrible instances like this. I remember them, Ali. All his wimpers, screams, cries for help... I remember everything..." 

Ali sits at the edge of the bed, her hands rubbing the sweaty hair of her husband, now pillowed in Ant's stomach. She looks questioningly at Ant.

Ant smile softly. "The first time it happened, we were on our own. You know, during our Pj and Duncan times. Once during one of our gigs, some bastards mocked at us for being gay and all that and attacked Dec. Me and our team intervened and effectively stopped the fight. Not to say that being the Scappy Doo he is, he was the one who started the fight when someone said something about me. Anyway, that night at our flat, I was woken up by his screams and ran to his room from the sitting room couch to find him like this. I was beyond terrified, you know. I some how calmed him down, and he fell asleep just like this on my lap. I didnt talk to him about that the next morning. I knew he was embarrassed. But that evening, he said to me about his dream. He dreamt of those thugs attacking me, while he stood and watched helplessly"

Ali felt tears in her eyes.  
Ant lovingly looked at the figure on his lap. "The second time, we were in Australia" Ali flinched at that "Calm down pet, we didn't tell you because it was a time long ago and you had only one post to take care of at that time - of our manager" Ant chuckled when Ali blushed.

"You remember the spider bite episode? 

"Yeah I do"

"That night, I heard voice from Dec's room and went to him, to see him in the same situation. The same routine followed. The next morning, I asked him what his dream was. As you can see, by that time we had got rid of the whole concept of personal space . He told me that, in his dream, he saw me falling down a cliff during a trial after being bitten by a snake, while he stood and watched it all helplessly as everyone else held him back from following me. I did laugh at that absurd dream but I still can't forget this, this frightened stare he gave me when he woke up from that dream" Ant takes a deep breath to erase the memory that have freshly resurfaced on his head.

"The last one was a few years ago after his dad's demise. I was at my home in Newcastle when Anne phoned me one night, asking me to come over to theirs . I drove all the way to his home and found Declan sobbing in his room. We were rather grown ups by then, not to say. Anne told me he was crying like this for hours and talked to them only to ask where I was. I hugged him and held him in my arms just like this until he fell asleep. Next day, he confessed to me, his dream. He dreamt me dying, Ali. He saw my body being lowered into the grave while he stood at the end and watched it all helplessly"

"Ohh Ant.. "

"Today, I dont know what his dream was Ali, but I for sure know why it happened"

"The incident with the fire?"

"No. It happened yesterday and it was solved"

"He would have dreamt of what he had felt or rather believed , when the fire caught the stage"

Ant laughed at that. "Ali, he is not seeing these dreams because ... he supressed his fears or because of... the images that had passed through his eyes"

Ali looked at him in confusion 

"He have such dreams when some such incidents happen, where he would feel utterly hurt and more than anything, helpless . This hurt and helplessness emerge in his dreams as his failure to rescue the people he care about very much"

" You "

"Or you, nowadays" He winks at Ali "He might have gone through some such situations today"

"But what?"

"I dont know for sure. But the only answer could be Samuel. He might have put Declan in a position where he possibly felt helpless"

"Maybe thats why he was so distant from us? maybe he threatened Dec or convinced him in someway that he will..."

".... hurt us. And Declan is afraid that one of us might get hurt because of him . He was shutting us out to protect us, inturn hurting and hating himself"

Ant tensed with fury "That filthy rag of the name Samuel"  Ant spat venomously.

"Ant.. what can we do now?"

"We have to talk to Dec. After he wakes up, we want to make Declan understand that he is never helpless when we are here and would never have to hide away from anything or anyone. We have to know what edged him and do something about it. We have to make him feel relaxed and happy"

Ant slowly shifts and puts Declan on the bed, who whimpered at the lose of contact. Ant indicate Ali to lie on the bed.

"Ant.."

"Dont worry Ali, I will be on the sitting room couch. Please sleep until he wakes up. Then we could go for the dinner"

"You can lie here with Dec, Ant.

"No Ali. You have to be with him. I know how much you want to feel him relaxed below your arms"

"So do you Ant"

"Not only that Ali, next time when this happens and I am not here, you should be able to look after him"

Ali gives him a grateful look   
"Do you know how many times have I thought how lucky either of you are to have such a gifted friendship?"

"I know Ali.. I too think of that everyday. Sleep, pet. I will be here" 

Ali lays down beside Dec ,who instinctively snuggle up to her.  She rubs her hands through is hair to which he responds with a sleepy squeak . Ant feels his own lips widening at that. He move out of the room after giving a soft kiss on Dec's forehead and sit on the  couch to watch the telly.

It was after an hour and a half that Dec woke up. He felt groggy and exhausted but the dreams were still etched fresh in his mind. He remembered how he had whimpered in his sleep  
And how he had vaguely felt Ant's presence near him, holding him and coaxing him to sleep. He would never mistake that hold. It is as familiar as his own self. He opened his eyes to see Ali sleeping beside him, who was slowly waking up, sensing him shifting. He then hear a voice from the sitting room, possibly coming from some boring cricket match that had happened ages ago.

"So Ant is really here?"

Ali nods at him

"Is he angry at me?"

"No Dec.. but sad. What is it Dec?"

He gives her a small kiss on forehead and take her hand as they walk to the front room to see Ant sitting there on the couch, immersed in some sad thoughts, with one hand on his eyes and looking rough and tired .

Dec see Ant's stance tensing and realise that Ant has sensed their presence . Then he hear Ant's voice, clear as crystal but filled with lots of supressed emotions, prominent one being frustration.

"What was it Declan?!!

TBC


	15. Trust

"What was it Declan?!!"

 

Dec looked at Ant in lose. I have to tell Ant my fear for his and Ali's safety. But then what? What if it put them in more misery? Why can't I act before them? Can't I be brave for once and shut them out for their own safety? 

Dec felt his eyes tearing up. He know he cannot act forever. Even if he do it before Ali, he certainly cannot before Ant, who knew him inside out. They are worrying because of him. By trying to protect them he had hurt them, and himself.   
Damn you, Declan!!

The moment he entered the hall and saw Ant in the couch, so sad and lost, he knew he cannot lie to him this time. And now,  Ant is looking at him as if  nothing else  matters to him in this whole world, than the answer Declan is going to give them.

Ali breaks the uncomfortable silence. "Is it Samuel, Dec?"

Dec doesnt reply  
They know. Of course they do

He slowly leans with his back against a cabinet table next to the couch, gives Ali a defeated look and fix his eyes on a very much stone faced Ant next to him, on the sofa. He had hurt Ant so much.  How can he now confess to them without falling weak infront of them.

Ant catches Dec's inability to voice his fears. He looks at Ali, pleading.  
"Ali, Pet.. would you mind going to my room please? I want to have a word with Declan, alone. I will call you once I finish"

Ali realise Ant's concern for Dec. She nods at Ant and gives a peck on Dec's cheek, who held her close. She exits their room , satisfied that Dec is in the safest of hands she could ever leave him with for. He will be alright.

 

********

 

Meanwhile in the room, an uncomfortable tension casts upon the two best friends. Dec didnt know what to say. But Ant knew what he wanted to ask. Something that took his thoughts by the time Dec had cried to sleep in his arms.  
Something that he was trying to figure out and understand for the past few minutes. 

Without lifting his eyes from some imaginary spot on his hands, Ant asks Dec, in a voice that choked with pain and emotions.

"What was missing in my friendship, Declan?"

"When did I fail to keep up your trust?"

" When did I stop being a part of your life?"

 

 

 

TBC


	16. Promises

"What was missing in my friendship, Declan?"

"When did I fail to keep up your trust?"

" When did I stop being a part of your life?"

Dec's head snapped up in shock. Each question that came out of Ant's mouth was like spikes striking his heart What?! Is that what he thinks?!!!

Ant slowly lifts his head to face Dec. Dec couldn't reply anything as he felt utterly speechless at that moment. So Ant continued,  
"Its not even 48 hours since you promised me Declan, Since you promised me that you will never do anything on your own! I thought you trusted me. I thought you trusted our friendship"

Ant look at a shocked and speechless Dec with pain and self doubt.   
"Haven't I always stood by you ? Didn't we tackle the many things thrown on our way, together ? Didn't I keep the promise that whatever happens I will always look out for you?   
Then when did my best friend stop trusting me with his problems Declan?  
When did he start feeling that we both have different worlds and different sets of issues?  
When did his troubles become his own?  
When did he forget my place in his life, Dec ? 

Tears were rolling down both their cheeks. Dec couldn't see Ant this broken. Not a word that Ant said to him was true. Ant was always a bigger part of his life. Dec moved to Ant's side and hugged him tightly.

"Never think anything like that Ant, ever! I still know what you are for me, mate. I still know what we can do together; for one another. I trust you with my own life Anthony! You know that. But today... I only thought about keeping you safe.. you and Ali..I wanted to keep you away from harm, from getting hurt"

"And you think your distance wont hurt us ? Both of us were more than hurt today, Dec!! Each time you turned away from me, it was like smashing my face, you know!? I am sure Ali might also have felt the same. What if it was me, Dec? Turning my back on you? Eh? Going away from you? Stabbing you with words and stares each and every time?  
One day Declan! One day you stood away from me, and I understood what loneliness is"

Dec couldn't control his sobs and is wracked with guilt. "Ant I.."

"Dec, You dont have to explain it to me. I know why you did that. Please trust me Declan, when we are together, we can tackle anything. I mean, anything!! Dont fall for these childish traps Dec. Dont let him get to you. That man is not worth it "

"I know Ant, he was playing with me today. He knew I will fall for his trap. Whenever I see him near you or Ali, I dont know why I am so afraid. He know that Ant. When I stormed out of your room after signing that report, I saw him smiling from a corner of the corridor, Ant. I dont know how he gets to know where we were and where we are . I am afraid that he might be planning something to hurt us; To hurt you , both of you"

"And he did win,didn't he? Today?"

"I am so.. sorry Ant.."

"I dont know about you, Declan. But that day, down on the Quayside, when we decided to sign up for the record, I meant everything I said. Every single word of it. Haven't I always kept it Declan? We are always Ant and Dec mate, our names go together . I can never force you to trust me in this Declan, I can only hope that you do. No problem is your own. mate, everything affects us both more personally than professionally. Think about it Declan"

"I do trust our friendship. I value it more than anything. It is my strength, Ant. You know that . But Ant, it is also my weakness and today, Samuel just made use of the latter part. And I didnt trust the former part. I wont do that again Ant, I would never doubt our strength. I would never keep anything on my own"

"Hear this again Dec. As long as I am here, you don't have to face the world alone; I wont let you face the world alone. Never. forget. that, ever!"

Dec tightens his hold on Ant and tells in a small voice "Our friendship is my strength Ant, all these years, that had kept me sane. We won't be us if not for each other. I have always told you, You are the best friend  a man could have!" *

Ant just held on to Dec and they stayed like that for sometime, their shared warmth seeling their renewed vows. After a few seconds they pull back

" Didn't we plan a dinner, Declan? You still want it in your room?"

"Yeah! If it's not Chinese" he shows his cheeky tongue at Ant, who tries to grab it, forcing them both to giggle like two teenagers.

*********

Next day, they reached the auditions relieved that the next venue is London, which meant, they can go back to their homes.

They were met by Rachel at the reception area, who with them, went to Dec's dressing room to sign some more papers.   
"Ant, Dec, we filed those reports yesterday and Samuel is on forced leave. Everyone know the truth and are all on our side. But we don't know how he would retort that. The case would be heard from London, as we are moving there tomorrow. Don't respond to anything that you hear and stay as low as possible"

As she exits the room, Ant look at a tensed Dec, put his arms around him and pull him close "Relax Dec, everything will be fine"

Ant gives him a short hug and they both exit the room.

As they pass through the junction of the central hall, they fail to notice a tall man in blue workman suit and baggy trousers passing them, with his cap lowered and the words 'Technician' and 'Air cooler' blazed on his chest. 

*******

In the wing, time flew like anything. Both Ant and Dec were enjoying themselves, the previous day's hardships forgotten. The crew, autionees and judges were very much happy to see them so. Stephen was trying his best to wind them up, so that the cheeky laughs would never stop.The first break came quickly as many of the acts couldnt complete even the first 30 seconds. They walked to their rooms, bickering at each other and dodging from Stephen and his crew who were desperate to increase their viewers by winding them up . As they reach their dressing rooms, Dec gives Ant a cheeky wave "Don't get late Ant, we have a show to do"

Ant gives Dec a mock punch and an incredulous look as if to ask 'you of all people!'.  
Dec attempts his scrappy- power pose, chuckles and gets into his room.

Ant opens his dressing room with a lingering smile . As he turn to close the door behind him, Something strong enters into his lungs, choking him for a moment. His hands fly up to his throat, and then to his head. He immediately starts to feel light headed and drowsy. His eyes were stinging and nose and tongue were heating up. He couldnt think properly as his brain was in a maze and his throat felt as if been heated dry. He slowly proceed to his minibar for a drink, as water was the only thing his head screamed!! As he approached the refrigerator, his steps became wobbly and balance started to sway. Before he could realise what happened or how happened, his chest tightens, breath hitches and he lose his fight to gravity, as he fall back, straight, his body hitting hard on the ground.   
Light.. darkness.. oblivion! !

 

 

 

TBC

*Original quote of Dec from their book Ooh! What a Lovely Pair; Our Story.


	17. Not Again...

Decs POV

Its been 10 mins since we entered our rooms.  Why isnt Ant out yet? He should be here by now, all annoyed and grumpy for me being late. May be he is trying to trick me to go first? Should I go to him? Nah. We never do that. I always made him wait for me and he always waited for me. Why change that today?  But this IS unusual for him. 

At last I decide to swallow my pride and go to him. Well, there is a first time for everything. I walked to his room and knocked "Ant. Ant its me .Its time man, Lets have lunch early today like everyone . Come fast!!" 

I hear no reply. This is so unlike Ant. I try the handle and it opens. I enter confused "Ant.. where.. you.."   
I couldnt say more as I felt something hot rushing to my lungs and mouth. I instinctively covered my face with my sleeve and moved out of the room. As I look back from the corridor, all I could see was a dense mist like substance flooding the room. And amidst them , on the floor, a blurring figure of dark hair and pale face. I felt every fear that I went through two days before, coming back in full power. I cant go in . If I too get exposed to whatever that is, it would only tighten the risk. I want someone!

"Roy.. Medic..  HELPP.. Helpp"   
I cry out and look around frantically to see no one. Everyone had gone for lunch. My eyes started to water and heart started to beat fast. I have to do something! Before it is too late! With one look at the receding image of Ant and a silent plea for his well being, I ran for the medic's room.

 

Third POV

It was a rather pleasant day for Roy and Shean as they ate their sandwiches with the intention of skipping the lunch like everyone else. There had been only minor incidents like sprains or cuts among the crew today. They were talking about football injuries and how Roy once had to fix Beckam when he fell on the field, that the shorter presenter came running to their room. Even if they pass through corridors or meet at canteens, they never have judges or hosts in their room for any emergencies. There were adequate runners in the crew for that. So when Declan barged into their room with a hitched breath, sweat and tears, they stood up in fear. "Ant.. in the room.. cant breath.. gas.. he'z unconscious"

Shean pulled the panicking presenter close and asked him gently.. "Dec, we cannot understand if you say like that. So.. clam down.. tell us". 

Dec was frustrated by then. Each second is precious!!  
"I cant calm down Shean. Ant is unconscious in his room. There is some sort of gas in there. I tried to enter but couldnt! He is not responding to my calls!!.. Please do someting, fast!"

Roy's mind was calculating by then. Gas leakage? But how? The only equipments there, are refrigerator and air conditioner. But the leakage from either one of them would not affect anyone. Would that? But the terrified look on the frantic presenter said otherwise. Roy immediately went to their gear shelf, took a pair of masks while Shean took the oxy kit and medications used for such conditions. Without wasting another second, the three of them ran to where Ant was.

 

 

********

 

 

As they reached the dressing room, Roy and one other medic they got on the way entered the room with mask gears for such situations as Dec stood with Shean in the corridor. After some seconds,  the two of them came out of the room half carrying and half dragging an unconscious Ant. As they laid Ant on the floor, Dec and Shean went near them, Roy and Shean immediately diagnosing Ant's condition, while the other medic went inside to open the windows and find the possible source of the leak. Ant was fully knocked out and his limbs were turning pale. More importantly his breathing was so dangerously low. 

Roy placed the Oxy mask and Shean administered the drug to widen Ant's vessels and windpipes, at the same time, calling out for him. Dec kneeled near Ant's head, holding his hand and rubbing his hair and patting his cheeks to wake him up. "Wake up Anth... Anthony...Ant..man.." He looks in frustration at the medics, who were checking Ant's pulse, breath rate and possible injuries he could have had due to the fall. But what confused him most was that, the Oxy mask showed no signs of the mist. Fear was creeping up, leaving a sour taste to spread in his toungue  "Ant.. Ant wake up.. Anth.. Anth can you hear me?" 

Shean caught Dec's eyes and  leaned near Ant's face, a hand on Ant's chest. His head snapped up at Roy, who immediately got the clue and took his radio out. Making sure that Declan cannot hear what he is speaking, he called for a crew member to pass a medical message in their own tongue and then called Jonathan and Paul, asking them to come there immediately. Declan didn't hear what he said in that radio. But clearly understood what made him do that. It was something that they saw in Ant. Something he had realised moments ago. Ant was not breathing.. he might need an immediate CPR. 

His thoughts were concreted when Shean replaced Oxy mask with Bag mask for CPR and started the compressions flat and hard. Each time Ant's chest tumbled on the floor, Dec felt himself in pain.  Shean was doing compressions hard and fast while Roy pressed the mask in regular intervals. Dec didnt knew what to do. He just knelt beside, held Ant's hand hard and sobbed silently.

*******

Shean couldnt hold the fear in his heart. Because he and Roy knew that what they are doing will help Ant if only for a miracle. Even if it was less than 5mins since Ant stopped breathing, he knew they were late to reach him; Late to administer CPR. If they doesn't act fast, they may lose him. The real thing that they need is what Roy had asked for and it hasn't reached yet. They had tried to hide their worry from Declan when  Shean saw something that Dec had missed on Ant's lips and fingertips- A very faint trace of blue...

Dec couldnt hold his fears as Shean continued compressions. Ant should be breathing by now. But his chest was too still and skin too pale. Dec  suddenly turned to see a runner approaching them .He was confused on how he found them as no one knew anything about what was going on. Then he remembered that Roy had called for someone. But what took his eyes off the runner was the gear in the runner's hand; The gear that Roy had asked for when he realised that it was not air that Ant's heart lacked but rhythm. Dec felt his eyes blacking out as he saw the green box in the runner's hand and written in capital bold along its centre was the letters AED ; Automated External Defribrillator. It was not Ant's breath that had stopped; but his heart.  

 

 

********

 

 

 

Dec felt his world crashing around his ears for the second time in three days. As Roy and Shean removed the mask and tore Ant's shirt to establish the pads,  Dec tightened his hold on Ant's hands. "Ant.. no!.. no!!..dont do this to me". 

Shean couldnt stop tearing up hearing Dec's plea. Roy slowly took Dec's hand from Ant's and puts it aside "You shouldnt touch him kid, the readings wont be accurate". 

Dec couldnt hold any longer. As they completed the set up, charged and applied the first set of shock to Ant, Dec felt his breath catching. As Ant's torso lifted and fell down with a thud, Dec felt a huge crash of guilt downing on himself. He had unnecessarily wasted 10 minutes of their life to annoy Ant, while his best mate was in the next room fighting for his life, fighting for breath. Guilt, despire, pain, fear came back to him in the same level after one day. But this was not an act, not a trick. This was too real!   
No.. not again.. not again...No..

As Ant's chest lifted and fell again, Dec let out a heart broken scream, crawling away to the wall and cry. He was suddenly taken into a pair of arms as those held him close and coaxed him. He was affected by a weird sensation of Deja Vu.     
No... Not again.. Not again...

He cried hard from Paul's hands and looked at the older medic.  
"What is it Roy? Why is he not responding?" 

Paul held him close as Roy and Shean ran out if words to say as Dec whimpered beside them.  
"Ant... Ant wake up Ant.. please wake up Anth.. " 

Dec's plea brought tears to their eyes. They were all trying to find words to comfort him, when a medic came running to them with some nurses. 

"Ambulance is here. We have to move fast!!"

 

 

 

TBC


	18. Away from You...

The sudden commotion of ambulance and worried faces of crew members were  enough for everyone to know that something was really bad. 

The judges had just finished their food and was waiting in the green room with Stephen cracking odd jokes at their expense, when the air was pierced by the siren of approching ambulance.

Alesha: "Is that an ambulance? What happened?"

Amanda: "Ohh no. Is anybody hurt?"

Stephen : "We have an emergency unit here and an ambulance of our own"

David: "Its not oxygenated, is it?"

Amanda: "I think it is. Why would they call another ambulance?"

Simon: "You are actually, right. I hope there is no major problems"

Stephen : "I will just go down and check"

Simon: "Call me once you know"

Every people in the room was silent now, a sheer Panic settling in...What? ....Who?

Stephen was about to go out and check ,when a terrified  crew member ran into the room.

"Stephen Mulhern, Stephen, sir.." he rambled. Stephen was confused and terrified."Yes? I am here! what is it ? What happend Jeff?"

"Sir, director is calling you. They need you urgent!! Please come fast!"

Simon piped in "What happened ? What is it all about ?"

The whole room was looking at Jeff now , who cringed, afraid to let out the news. He looked straight  at Stephen, pleading  to come with him

"Sir, you have to come fast!! Dec needs you...Its Ant!! "

 

 

 

********

 

 

 

Ant!

No one could hold the panic.Gasps and yelps filled the room.The moment he heard the name, Stephen rushed out of the room with Jeff. His thoughts were all about Dec.

When he reached the corridors, he saw Roy and Shean holding the stretcher and running to the back exit with some nurses and a distraught Dec. Jonathan and Paul was behind them.  

Jonathan spots him, pulls him by shoulders and whispered "Dec cannot go to the hospital now"  
Stephen looked at him in shock

"Its not good Stephen. We cant take the risk of..."

"What are you saying Jonathan? He is his friend!"

"I know. But we can't send him alone. This is the last audition Stephen, there are only a few more acts and then we could call it a day. Understand me Stephen, Paul is going with them and so are the medics.We will call Ali and Georgie too.But Dec,cant,be,there!!"

"Dont tell me its for the show"

"No Stephen!! you know me" Jonathan looks hurt "Roy doesnt want him there Stephen. It will only make things worse. You have to understand!! things are not good Stephen"

They were already at the exit by now. "How can we stop Dec from going along, Jo?"

Jonathan doesnt reply but once the stretcher is taken in, he puts an arm around the shorter man's shoulder who looked at him with fear . His heart breaks at that  "We need you here , Declan"

Dec's looks change to that of shock "Jonathan, I can't.."

"Please kid, we want you here. Ant would never like you skipping an audition. Would he?"

Dec looks at him like a child looking at his father while being told off "No, he wouldnt.. But.. but I can't.. not without him, not when he is.. he is.. "

Dec bursts into tears, prompting Stephen to move in and hold him . He held on to Stephen as if he is a drowning man. Through his sobs, Dec hears the engine roaring and looks from Stephen's chest to see the  ambulance speeding ahead.  
Ant....

 

 

 

 

********

 

 

 

Back in the green room, everyone was in fear and despair. Jeff had come back to explain  them everything and more. It had been found that the air in the dressing room was filled with poisonous gas,  that came out of the air conditioner. No one know how it happened or how such leakage could turn so deadly. It had been taken to analysis but what clearly shocked everyone was the fact that the gas that filled the room was nothing that could come from such a leakage. 

Simon was sitting with head on his hands with Charile and Amelia "What's happening guys? Past three days were total chaos for the boys. I dont know how they would get over all these!"

Charlie: "I was thinking the same. I dont know how Dec could hold himself after what happened now"

Everyone fell silent as Stephen entered with Dec. His distraught face and tear smeared cheeks was enough for all to tear up. Amanda went and held Dec close to her, rubbing his back and soothing him. She led him to the couch nearby while he looked at her in total loss "Jonathan asked me to stay here!" , Dec says to her matter of factly with a tinge of pout.

David come near them and pats Dec on his shoulder "Thats good Dec, Ant will be proud of you"

Hearing Ant's name, fresh tears came to his eyes and he turned to hide them as everyone else looked at David in frustration . Alesha kneeled near Dec and gave him a cup of tea. "He will be alright Dec. Its just a matter of minutes and you can see him. Dont worry"  She kiss his forehead. 

Simon was all the while looking at Dec's face. He love the boys so much. Everyone does. Seeing one of them so lost and broken was hard. He had seen Ant in a similar state last year but it was far better than this as he had Dec to hold on to. Now Dec is all alone and that loneliness was loud enough for everyone to see. 

Simon stands and move to the shorter presenter. Simon is not someone who show much emotions. But the boys did. Whenever they see each other, Dec always pulled him for a long hug. He dont know what was in these two geordies. He always felt warm after that. They make every one love them. He puts an arm on Dec's knee and the greenish blue eyes look up at him. "Si.. Ant.. I want to go to him" he ask like a little kid asking permission to his teacher for something he know he wont be allowed to do. 

"You can't Dec. Just a few hours and we will take you there. Okay? You think Ant would be happy if you leave the show? He is in good hands Dec, dont worry, okay?"

"How can I not worry?" He asks in a broken whisper.

Dec's innocent question was too much for everyone. Simon hugs him tight and pats his back. "You both are so strong Dec. You always were. Keep that up Declan, for Ant. I am sure you will do good today. Do you need Stephen with you?"

Dec had no hesitatation  
No..no one will replace Ant; No one can!

"No.. I am okay.. I will do it Al..one... But, what happened? How did the gas.." he couldnt finish as his breath hitched. 

Amanda puts her hands around him again. "Heyy that's enough for one day Dec, No one knows how but the gas came from the Air conditioner. It is taken for analysis. We have to wait to know what actually happened"

Dec looks at Amanda in frustration "Why is it always him? Past two years had been a nightmare for him and now!  What's happening to us... its like someone has jinxed our life" He breaks down again.

Simon pats his knees "Its just one of those times. It will pass. Ant is going to be alright Dec and once he come back,  you have to be strong. Like you had been all these years. Be strong Declan"

A runner suddenly enter to announce the time for auditions. They all exit the room after   giving a parting hug to Dec. Alesha and Amanda kissed him in cheeks and David, in his own camp way, kiss him in lips inciting a laugh from Dec, who shove him away "Yuckk.."

"I thought you enjoyed it during the NTAs" David says in mock hurt.

"That was the most embarrassed I had ever been"

"Be proud Dec, you got something that Simon had been waiting for years!!"

Dec laughed hard at that, his inbuilt nature taking over his misery. Simon looked at David in mock anger, but when Dec passed them to go to the wings with Stephen tagging along, he gave David a grateful look. 

"I too love them so much Simon. I hope Ant is okey"

Amanda let out a choking sob at that " What's happening to them. These can't be coincidences can these?"

Alesha: " The first one was obviously a trick but this... I feel like something's not right"

Simon: "Whatever it is, we can't let it go "

They all went to their own positions while Dec took his place at the wings after sharing a hug with Stephen. Stephen gives the crew a meaningful  look and everyone hovers over Dec, to meet his needs and be his help. Dec felt a deep gratitude for all their love and care. But when the auditions started  and the cameras rolled, he felt an odd sensation of chill. An emptiness; a coldness coming from his left.

 

 

 

 

******

 

 

 

 

The day felt like years for Dec as he waited for the important call. But none came . Each second was like living his death. Stephen was always looking out for Dec, afraid of the fact that, not for once did Dec smile. Not even to the auditionees. He just stood in the wings, led them on to the stage, crossed his arms and watched the whole act and led them off. His stature screamed loneliness and loss. 

It was after a good number of acts that Dec felt frustration building up in him. He can't hold anymore . He can't act upon their- his- camera anymore.  He was about to call Ali that his phone ringed. He hurriedly took the phone , excused himself and moved away from wings to a corner. It was Ali. 

He took it and without any loose talks, asked her "How's he Ali? You reached there? I was waiting for your call for ages!  They are not letting me come there." His voice was breaking at this point "Tell me he is okey Ali.. "

Ali was silent all the time. Dec felt his heart beating fast,  tears welling up and fear creeping in.

"Ali.. what is it?!!"

 

 

 

 

TBC


	19. Never Away

"Ali.. what is it?!!"

 

"I am not Ali, you idiot!" Said a familar voice groggy, but clear. "Just wanted to know how my best pal is enjoying hosting alone for the first time"

Dec was afraid to trust his ears. He held the phone in silence for few seconds and his lips trembled with emotions "Anth..ony.." he whimpered and cried down on the phone in disbelief.

"Heyy dont cry. Yeah? It's me..I am okay Decky... You did a great thing by being there Declan, you strong lad... I am proud of ya"   
He chuckled "But dont get used to it okay?"

He waited for Dec to retort but Dec was still sobbing quietly. Ant knew Dec can't help but let it all out. So he tried to wind him up.

"....And come here once its over.I will be chilling out here with a big HD plasma.... fresh fruit drinks... and... youaa wife!!"

Dec hears Ali laughing in the background and a smile grow on his face. "Get away from my wife, you creep!!" He laugh through tears.

Ant lets a relieved sigh by hearing him laugh. "Will try....Take care kid, will see ya"

Dec break down again on the familiar nickname "Ant..."

"Dont cry pal, its hurts me when you cry Decky. I am okay.. really. So come back soon. And please dont cry"

"Its okay, I am okay. Its just that.. I miss you! See you then.. Ant..." he ends the call and let out a relieved sob. 

He turn to see Stephen behind him, who hugs him and let him weep his heart out to his chest.

 

********

 

 

Ant had just hung the phone up and he felt tears welling in his eyes and quiet sobs trying to escape his mouth. Ali held his hands. "What is it Ant?"

"What is happening to our life Ali? Past years have been the worst ever. I will bear anything thrown at me Ali, I will bear every pain in this world but to see Dec living it with me, it's so hard"

"That's what friends are for Ant, its in both of you. It's something many of us wish and never have"

"That doesn't mean I have to hurt him every step I take. I dont know what happened today. The last thing I remember is feeling thirsty and going for the fridge"

" The gas had filled the room already Ant... Roy said, they had to use the gears to enter"

"Shit!! Air Cooler? Really? How can that happen?"

"Dont know. It was pretty nasty Ant,  you heard the doctor"

"I dont know how Dec might have felt"

"Err.. Ant, they did the CPR and AED infront of him"

"What?!!"

"I know.. they had no other way . No wonder Dec was so broken on the phone. Good thing he was not here. He might not have stood for whatever I had to go through here after the accident"

" I am sorry Ali"

"Dont be.. you are my friend Ant. And also.. this is my job" She winks at him

Ant laugh at that, but his smile freeze and his body shudder as a thought cross him. He looks straight at Ali

"This is not an accident!Is it Ali?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC


	20. With You...

"This is not an accident!Is it Ali?"

"No Ant"she say in small voice "All we know is that the gas is nothing that could come from an Air Cooler"

"Samuel?"

"Isn't that obvious? "

"Does Declan know?"

"He will figure that out for sure. You know him"

"No I dont. He took away our only manager" Ali blushed deep at that.

"You know Ant, I used to wish for you both to be together"

"Really?!!"

"Not anymore" They both laugh at that.

"I am glad that he found you Ali, you make him happy"

"I am relieved that you do. When we started going out, that was the only fear I had. I know I don't stand a chance if you were against us" *

"That's not strictly true. I just want him happy Ali"

"I know. I have been with you for so long . I know your love for each other"

At that moment, Georgie enters the room. "Hello.... I have called Jonathan and Stephen... they were all really worried out there. They said Dec was really lost without you. You spoke to him?"

"Yeah" Ant's face falls "I don't know how he did that. I can't help feeling proud that he soldiered on in that situation"

Georgie: "That's right "

Ali looks at Georgie "Did you file the complaint?"

Georgie: "No. Simon asked Alex to do it before us. It will go from BGT. They are all afraid for you Ant, and also for Dec"

Ant: "They should be, we are a fa-mi-ly" he laughs "I should thank them all. Nowadays I am thanking everyone out there in a daily basis"

"That's not funny Ant" Ali chastised "You want me to call Christine or Sarha?"

"Ohh no. Dont do that. You heard the doctor. I am well" He chuckeles

Ali : "Yeah, I heard what he said Ant, that you are Lucky!" Ali said, her throat catching.

Ant sobers at that "Dont tell that to Declan though.He dont want to know the details."

Ali sighs "Keep him company Georgie, I have to collect the reports from the doctor. I for the hell need a pay rise Ant" she tells as she moves to the door

"I gave you my best man Ali, what more can you expect" he shouted and Ali giggled at that as she went out.

 

 

******

 

 

Back at the audition venue, things were not going good for Dec. Now he was stuck with the yearning for meeting Ant and to see him alive and smiling with his own eyes. Stephen could see that Dec's face had relaxed and he is much more aproachable for everyone now, But the fear that was in his face is now replaced with impatience as he just wanted to get out of there. His prayers were answered a few more hours later when auditions were over for the day. He had decided to skip the after party and go to the hospital when he came accross Jonathan and Stephen.  
"Lets go" said Jonathan. 

Three of them got into Dec's car and Joe started the car. Dec saw throught mirror, the judges getting into another car.

As they reached the hospital, Dec jumped out and ran to the reception. The ginger receptionist was taken aback by the presence of the two men infront of her. She looked at Dec and Stephen in awe.

Dec felt pity but he was very much impatient to reach Ant."Haii."

"Ohh, Hai ..sir, How can I.. I help you.. sir?"

Dec felt his patience slipping "Ant.. AntMcpartlin" . 

She was shocked as she checked the computer and found Ant's room. Dec ran for the room while Stephen thanked her as he followed Declan. Jonathan laughed at her thinking what would she do if she saw all the judges infront of her within a few seconds.

The room was on the first floor, so Dec took the stairs swiftly, Stephen and Jonathan trying to catch up with him. As he reached the landing to the floor, he saw Lisa . She looked sad and tired. But Her eyes sparkled with affection and care when she saw him.

"Decky.. dont worry Doolittle, he is okey. He is terribly missing you, I must say"

"I miss him too .. how are you Lisa?"

"Been better" she says in defeat. Dec slowly hugs her and drown in the warmth that he had sought for years whenever in despair "I miss you Lisa"

"So do I. Take care of him Dec..."

"You know I will"

She pulls him for another hug, gives a peck on his cheek and move ahead to meet Stephen and Jonathan who had just reached the floor, while Dec ran for the room.

 

 

 

*******

 

 

 

Back in the room, Ant was lying alone, leaning back on the headboard while emotions threatened to flow out of him. Ali had left to give him and Lisa some privacy. But it was not needed.   
They had finally come into terms on being friends.   
Where is my life taking me to, He muses feeling so lonely Where are you Declan, I miss you so much.

On cue, Dec burst into the room, eyes all expectant as they searched the room. His eyes land on Ant and lot of emotions cross his face, important one being relief. 

Dec looked at Ant for a long time. Blood had reached his cheeks and his features seemed more healthy. But more to his relief, Ant is now smiling. His eyes crinking in the familiar way and cheeks blushing. Dec felt his knees giving up. He is alive.. he is here.. he is before me. . He is here. Without delay, he sprinted to his bestmate, got into his bed and pulled his only friend for a deep hug "Ant.. Anth.. Anth.." he sobbed.

"Ohh Dec... come on little fella. What is it.."

"Ant.. I.. Ant I thought.. when you called.."

"I know Decs, I am so sorry I didnt speak right on. Well, you didnt give me time"

Dec grumped at that "I was so worried, Ant"

"I know.. I am sorry"

"Dont be..."

Dec was about to say more when Stephen and Jonathan entered with Ali.

Stephen: "Heyy Ant.. how are you mate?"

Ant: "Good Stephen..thank you Stephen.. glad to see you Stephen.. etc etc"

Stephen: "You could be more grateful than that by the way"

Dec: "Shut it Mullers"

Jonathan: "Seriously Ant.. how are you? Ali said that..."  
Ant stopped him with a look and gestured over to Dec who was now sitting on the bed with one arm around Ant's shoulders and one on Ant's lap. Dec frowned at that. "What is it Ali? "

Ali : "What? Ahh I said to him about Ant's diagnosis.Thats all"

Dec: " And?"

Ant : " And what? I am good to go home"

Dec: "Really?! But the gas.. you were .. you were so still and.." Dec couldnt complete as his throat caught

Ant: "I was. But it was nothing pal. The doc said something about, that .. thing not being a dissolving gas and all that ....and said I am really okay. It was just a small accident, Decky"

Ali shuddered at that. She knew it wasnt. 

Dec looked at Ant for long time and said "I know your fake smile, Ant"

Ant: "It is nothing Decky. Really. They just had to spend some time on me. With the gas in my lungs and afraid it may dissolve in blood and afraid it may cut the oxygen supply to my brain and all that. It didnt luckly.. so.."

Dec : "Luckly?"

At that moment Roy entered  
Roy : "Yes Declan, your friend here was so lucky. Why do you think we didnt let you come here? He is miraculously lucky to be here"

Ali,Stephen and Ant looked at him in shock and anger, urging him to stop. But Roy didnt see them as he continued "He was clearly out of it. Thank god Shean established the CPR early. We didnt told you but we were really late to find him. Any seconds late and.."

He stopped when Dec's expression changed to that of pain and whimpers escaped from him as he completed the sentence for him "l would have lost him" He broke down hard and sobbed deeply while Ant pulled him to his chest, hugging tightly "heyy you didn't.. I am okay.. I am fine Decky"

"Its because of me Ant... You are here because of me" Everyone looked at him in shock.

Ant: "What?!! Decky.. what is it pal?"

Ant looked at everyone else, who caught his stare and went out of the room to wait for Dec to get done with explanations. As the door closed behind them, Ant took a crying Declan in his arms, hugging tight to his chest. " shh....Declan! Calm down pal..Why did you say that for?"

"Because I am the reason you are here!" Dec broke down again, more tears wetting Ant's neck and collar.

"How could you be..."

"I was late to find you Ant...I...." he sobbed

"I bloody waited for you to call me. I unnecessarily waited to annoy you Ant, if only I had come out early..."

"Stop it Dec... I know you can't help it. When are you early" he chuckles.But Dec doesnt laugh which worries Ant. They stay like that for a few moments until Ant fet Dec shifting slowly, as if afraid to be so close to him. Then he hears a whisper from amidst the sandy brown hair tucked under his chin.

Dec slowly whispered through the tears and whimpers, in a voice completely broken, lost and at the same time confident.

"I am not a good friend for you, Ant. I never was..."

 

 

 

 

 

TBC

*Based on Dec's answer for one of Alan Carr's questions on the show Chatty Man.


	21. Together

"I am not a good friend for you, Ant. I never was"

Ant was taken aback by this unexpected response Why cant he see what I see in him?

"What!! who said that? What all have you done for me Declan. You had always stood by me through out my life, even when I had put both our lives and career in danger. What more could I ask for? Look what happened today Dec. If you weren't a good friend, you wouldn't have waited for me. You would have gone straight to lunch without me. What would have happened then pal? No one would have come to rescue me"

Dec flinched at that.   
"Sorry .. But see, your love for me rescued me Decky"

Dec considers it for a moment and nodes from his neck.  
"I missed you Ant.. at the wings.. all alone. I cant. I never can"

"Shh I know I know.. now stop this Declan.. You are worrying me"

Dec controls his sobs, wipe his face and looks at Ant . Ant could see the familiar affection and admiration in his friend's eyes. But a great part of them cried out for comfort.

Ant chuckled at the pouting face and pulled Declan back to his arms. Dec lied in his comfortable position at Ant's chest, head buried in his neck. Ant held him tight to his chest, rubbing his hair, neck and back all the while frowning at what could have happened if his luck had run out.

******

Outside the room, Jonathan and Stephen stood stunned at the revelations. Ali was explaining what she went through in the hospital  
"And.. no one was sure Ant was going to make it safe. The gas was really poisnous. Some sort of mixture with NO2. It was fortunately not soluble in blood but it did affect the Oxygen content in his blood. He was diagnosed with ARDS ; Acute Resporatory Syndrom and was not even breathing through mechanic ventilation. They administered loads of drugs but his response to them was so minimal. There were a few seconds when we thought...when we thought he was gone.. a few seconds when we thought he had been slipped into..coma..a few seconds when we thought he may be prone to side effects like memory loss or... or..depression"

Ali started to sob at this point "We were outside not knowing what to do... How can I thank you both? If Declan had been here.. he would have taken it so hard.."

Stephen: "You are right. Thanks to Jonathan and Roy they thought of that"

Jonathan: "Once Roy briefed me the condition, I knew Dec shouldnt be there"

Roy: "But I did make a mistake by opening my mouth a while ago. Sorry"

Ali: "Its okay. You dont know how relieved I am to.. to see Ant safe.. if we had.. had lost.... "

Ali started sobbing openly and Jonathan put his arm around her, coaxing her "He didn't, Ali.. come on... you have to be strong for them"

Ali: "Past three days were mental. There is somethng I have to talk to you about. Especially to the producers"

Stephen: "Is it Samuel, Ali?"

Ali: "I don't doubt it"

Jonathan: "We will do something about it. Simon had already reported the incident"

Ali: "I know.. lets just ask Ant and Dec about it"

As they entered, they were taken aback by the image that they saw, completely different from that they had expected. Dec is now lying with his torso leaning back to the headboard while his hands payed with Ant's hair, now buried on his chest, Ant's arms around the older man's hips.

Ali laughed at that They never change

Stephen: "They love each other so much.."

"They do..." Ali whispered.

They hear a knock and door opened it to reveal the judges.  
Simon: "Hello guys, where are the boys?"

Dec looked up from where he was looking at Ant's black hair on his chest "Hiya.. we are here"

David smiled at him "Look at that bright little face when he is with his boyfriend"

Dec: " Shut up David. He is sleeping. Just fell asleep now"

Alesha : "Ooh its okey we can wait"

Ant: "You don't have to.. " he said cuddling to Dec tightly

Simon: :"Thank you for joining us.How are you?"

Ant: "Not bad.. I just had a trip to ICU for a good couple of hours. Nothing bad about it right?"

Amanda: " Ant... "

Ant: "I am fine guys. And.."

Simon: "We dont want your thanks. When can you come out?"

Ant: "Me and Dec had decided not to.. long time ago.."

Alisha: " What?"

David: "I knew that.. you should have, you know"

Ali : "Someone's forgetting me here" Everyone laugh at that and she continues " He have to be here for 24 hr observations. If no further complications are found, I think he can be out sometime tomorrow.. close to mid day probabaly. Have to be careful though"

Jonathan: "Good thing we dont have any schedules for tomorrow"

Stephen: "Really?"

Jonathan: " Not for you. You have to do the voice overs"

Stephen: "Unbelieveable!!"

Alesha : "About time you did something useful"

Simon: "Right. You cost a fortune"

Stephen: "Come on Simon. I am the cheapest host ever in existence"*

Dec: "Yeah. Cheap. Cannot argue with that"

Everyone laughed at that, Alesha's and Dec's laughter loud enough to pass through the walls. For a moment everyone forgets where they were and why they were there.

Ant: "I am actually okay. You guys can go now and thanks for coming.. this means a lot, you know"

Amanda: " We really were afraid for you. I dont know what's happening. But we will do something about it"

Dec tensed up. "Its him! Samuel"

Ali: "We dont know, Dec. We can know for sure once the case opens. And Simon had taken all the steps to ensure that"

David: "I know. He will, he is my..."

Simon: "No David.. not now.. I think we should leave Ant to rest. See you later Ant"

Dec still had an unconvinced stance and his eyes were sad and frustrated for everyone to see.

Everyone hug Ant and Dec, while David kissed Dec's lips again. "Whats the problem with you, David!!... If you do that again , I will smash your face in!!"

Ant laughed hard for the first time since Dec came in , inciting a happy giggle from the Dec, that he used to get whenever he succeed in making his mate laugh. 

David look at that with twinkling eyes and a mock pout. Dec stretch his hands for a hug and David pull him to it with affection "Thanks David" Dec whispers "Thank you.."

David just smiled affectionately and everyone except Stephen and Ali move out.

Stephen: "So.. you want me to stay for the day?"

Ant: "No Stevey. You all go home. I will be fine here. And.. thanks man"

Dec: "You too Ali. I will stay here"

Ant : " Declan!!"

Dec : "Dont Start. We have a match to catch. Remember?"

Ali smiled at them lovingly Boys!!

Ali: " Let's go Stephen. You can drop me at James Grant"

Dec: "Go with Joe Ali.. he can take you home after"

Ali: " You sure I can take your car?"

Ant: " Of course. What are we gonna do with that from here? And Ali.. we would feel relaxed if you do so. Its safer than a cab"

Ali: "Okey.. I will be back tomorrow . Take care Ant and take care of him, love"

Stephen gives them both a parting hug and Ali kiss them both in cheeks.   
Dec: "I will show you to the exit.

*****

As they reched the exit, Dec stopped to look straight at Ali.  
Dec: " How close call was that Ali?"

Ali looked at Stephen in distress but he was as helpless as her  
Dec : "How close a call?"

Ali : "Not much but still... close" She couldn't lie to him.

Dec felt a sob wracking his frame.   
Ali: "Dec no.. not again.. not in public dear"

Dec: "We have to talk about it once Ant is well. We cant let it go"

Ali : "We can't and we wont"

Stephen: "Let's get Ant well first; we can talk everything later"

They exit and Dec walk back to take the lift this time, feeling worn out with fatigue and despire.

 

 

He didnt notice the new sweeper talking to his sleeves.

 

 

TBC

* Ref: An exchange between Stephen and Simon once on BGT.


	22. Accidents?!!

Ant was still sitting on the bed, now watching the pre show chats of the match. Dec slowly entered the room and composed himself while he turned to shut the door. He took off his shoes and got in the bed and sat near Ant, who immediately put an arm around him. 

Dec noticed that Ant still had bags around his eyes, his lips were swollen and he was breathing far more deeper than necessary.

Close!!   
Ali's words echoed in his mind. Even when the match started, both men were in silence , which had never once happened in all the years they had been together.

Ant looked at Dec with concern  
"I miss a roast"

Dec smiled at that unexpected confession  
"I miss some drinks" 

Ant caught that and chastised "Did you eat something today Declan, you seems so worn out"

"Says someone who had to be brought back using machines" Dec felt his eyes welling

"It was not that..."

"Stop lying Ant. Please. I cant think of what.."

"Thats enough Declan.."

"What could have I done without you.." he whispers as his voice break down.

"We both have cried and thought about the what if-'s more than enough for a lifetime in past 3 days, Dec"

"Why is it always funny to you?"

"It is not Declan" But he knew Dec was so out of it. He didnt even cheer up when their teamed scored a goal which doesnt happen often ( sorry NUFC fans)

Ant slowly pulled him closer and looked into his eyes with affection and admiration "You didnt stay to watch the match did you?"

Dec looked at him pouting "You know I didnt. I dont want you out of my sight anymore"

"Whose being mother hen now"

Dec show his tongue out and cuddle closer to Ant, his head on Ant's shoulders. As the toll of the day took him in the unexpected serenity, he slowly drifted off to sleep basking in the warmth and love.

******

As Ant felt his shoulders getting heavy, he switched the telly off. He was waiting for Dec to get his much needed sleep. He slowly lied on the bed, taking Dec with him, who was completely woven around Ant. Ant pulls Dec closer and looks at the peaceful face, so cute and pouting in sleep. He slowly rubs the frown forming in Dec's forehead and pulls him close to his chest. Ant realised his arms were more tightened than usual around his friend. He is afraid for him. Ant realised that for the past 6 hours, he was afraid for Dec.

He felt his protective nature kicking in, while the small sensitive man slept deep in his arms I wont let anything reach you Decs.. I will protect you with my life.. I wont ever leave you alone He protectively tightened his hold and affectionately kissed on top of Dec's forehead, drifting to sleep listening to the soft snorings coming from his chest.

******

Ant woke up the next day feeling something heavy on his chest. He looked down to see Dec's sleeping face. He ran his hands through Dec's hair thinking back on what all happened. What if it was Dec's dressing room? Samuel wanted Dec to get hurt in revenge of him losing job. We have to be careful. I cant let him reach Dec.

He slowly moved from beneath Dec, carefully placing his head on the pillow and went to the shower. He felt much better than yesterday even if a pain was lingering on his chest , probably caused by CPR and the burns on his throat were still throbbing. Other than that he felt very much fine and was sure could go back home. He was relieved that he was not put in the observation unit with all those machines and was thankful to Dec for being there as otherwise, he wouldnt have got the sleep he needed. Dec knows me better

He had just finished putting his clothes on when he heard a panicked voice from the room "Aanttt!!!"

His heart skipped a beat as he ran out of the shower to see a confused and terrified Dec sitting on the bed, looking around.  
"What is it Decs?"

"Oh Ant.. when I woke up, you were not here.."

"Yeah. I was in the shower. Don't panic everytime pal.. its all okay now. Its safe in here"

"I doubt that.. I have this constant feeling that someone is following us..."

He was about to continue when they hear a knock and Ant moves to open the door. A nurse was there holding a tray of items and looked at both in turns, confusion and blush creeping on her face. Ant supressed a smile "I am Ant, come in"

"Ooh.. Goodmng sir, how are you feeling?"

He looks at Dec for a moment Truth? or Lie? and he decided to stick with the truth  
"There is a lingering pain in the chest and Throat . Other than that, I feel fine"

"That's due to the CPR and gas inhalation" She said as she took his readings "These are medicines for that"

Dec: "Will he get discharge sheet today?"

Nurse : "Probably. It didn't affect the internal organs. That's a miracle. Please stay here until aftetnoon observation and drink plenty of cool water and dont eat any junk foods until your throat feels right"

Ant: "Sure "

Dec: "Thank you"

She smile and move out to the other room

Dec: " I will go and bring food for us"

Ant: "Get fresh declan you stink"

They were about to start a banter when they hear another knock and Ali enters with a tiffin. "Food for the kids?"

Ant : "There comes our angel"

Ali : "Nothing nice for you Ant... you are stuck with the porridge for a couple of days"

Ant made a face at her "Any news on when I could switch to bacon and burger?"

Ali: "When you feel well... but you are fine to get a discharge by noon, they say"

Dec: "So early? Is he really fine?"

Ant : "They are also amazed. But yeah, Aren't you a lucky man?"

Dec: "I wont use that word if I were you"

Ant: "Dont start Declan. Let's eat this all and wait for the doctor to come"

Ali : " Yeah. Can we agree to open the case against Samuel tomorrow, about the magic trick incident ?"  
The both nod at her  
"And also the cops may have things to ask to you once you get discharged from here. They found that Samuel was no where near the venue when the accident with Air cooler happened. So there may be more to all these than we know. We cant press anymore charges against him and have to wait for adequate proofs to be available. It's going to be a long week guys"

Dec: "Whatever to put an end to all these"

*****

It was close to noon time when the doctor came and pronounced Ant fit to leave for home. Ali went to complete the last set of bills as Ant called his family who came to know about it from the papers.

Ant: "I dont know how they got hold of the news"

Dec :" Yeah I just heard a lot from my mom and your mom for not calling them. I really dare for Sarah's and Emma's calls"

Ant: " God.. Anne is calling me.."

Dec : "Good luck with that"

Dec opened the twitter and felt a surge of gratitude for all their concern. He moved closer to Ant who was on phone and took a selfie, with both of them gleaming at the camera.

He uploaded it on Twitter with the caption : 

Look who is getting a mouthful from my mom 😉 #atriptohospital #momsonfire #busted

He laughed at the comments that followed it. 

While he was reading through it, Ali call him to come down.

Dec:" Lets go"

Ant :" Good. I just want to be home. It's so good to walk "

Dec looked at him and moaned "No stairs please"

Ant: "Yes Declan, come with me"

Dec: "No way.. I am not going to take it when there is a lift.."

Ant: "I wanna walk man.. please"

Dec: "Nope.. " Dec press the buttons to the lift and wait for it to come

Ant: "Okey you come by lift. I will walk on my own.. Ooh I feel knackered"

Dec looked at him pouting "You fight dirty McPartlin" , But he still wait for the lift to come, all the while hoping Ant won't go alone.

Ant hid a knowing smirk and went for the stairs, laughing when he felt the familiar presence next to him "I hate you Ant"

Ant put a hand around Dec's shoulder as the smaller man looks in mock anger at the lift that had reached the floor, now closing and moving down as someone had pressed it from below.

Ant laughed hard as a Dec lazily descended the stairs  
"Come fast littlen.."

"I will smash your face in Ant.."

They had just reached the landing, when they heard a loud crash and a thud, rocking the floor. Dec jumped into ant, who held him close protectively. They both look at each other in fear.

"You okay Decs?"

"Yeah what the hell was that?!!"

"Who knows!!"

They took a beat to get composed and continued to move down carefully. They suddenly hear hard heels clattering the floor and Ali appears, her face filled with fear and misery.   
Now what?!!

As she see them, she take a deep breath , run to them and hug them both close all the while murmuring "Thank god..ohh lord..thank god.."

Dec takes her in his arms and sooth her "Heyy.. sh.. calm down.... What happened pet.. heyy calm down..."

Ali:"Ohh Dec.. I thought.. ohh I was terrified that.. after the crash..ohh"

Ant :"Heyy calm down pet, we heard that! What was it?"

Ali: "Ant... I was in the billing section waiting for you... I heard the crash... I ran.. ran to see.."

Dec: "Heyy pet.. calm down ... shh.. slowly.. take a deep breath pet.."   
Ali does as he said and relax a bit, closing her eyes. As she open it, they see fear in her eyes.

Dec: "What is it dear?"

Ali: "Dec, the lift at the part of the floor you were on... the lift I thought you will be taking....  
it crashed!!! It was that lift that had crashed Declan!"

Ant and Dec look at each other in horror. The lift they were going to take. Ant felt his fear for Dec coming back in full power If Dec had got in it 

He felt his heart tugging with fright as he put his arms around Declan who have Ali in his arms, and pull them both close to him protectively.

These cannot be just accidents!!!

 

 

 

TBC


	23. Accusations

As they reached Dec's  home, Ant turn to his friends "I will get going, guys" He pulled Hurley close to him, who was not so keen to leave his small friend.

Ali: "Stay for the day Ant"

Ant : "Dont worry Ali.. I will be okay. Nothing that a sleep wont cure"

Dec : "You sure Ant? You can sleep here you know"

Ant : "I know. But its not needed Dec"

Ali : "Come here for the breakfast Ant, and no drinks, Okay? I still remember how you drank and felt lonely once at Australia and called me late at night to the beach to keep you company. I was terrified to see you drunk and near the sea* .... Dont do anything senseless,  Ant"

Ant: " I wont.. dont worry Ali, I was drunk that day . Everyone left to bed and I just needed somebody to talk. I am not drunk today pet, and I wont get drunk. Will see you tomorrow"

 As he moves out, Dec follows. "Ant ..?"

"Yeah ? "

"You want sometime alone. You okay?"

"What? How do you.."

"You know that we both could read the signs when one of us wants a space" **

"Yeah! Just want to be alone Decs"

"I know. Call me if you need anything. And don't stress man, everything will be fine "

They part after a hug and Dec stays until Ant enters his home safely.

As they both enter their respective home, they can't control the shudder that goes through them. These are not coincidences

They were afraid of what tomorrow have to offer .They had to go to the courtroom for hearing and then continue the auditions in London. Tomorrow have to offer them so many answers and explanations. And tomorrow is just 8 hours away.

 

*****

 

Next day, when Ant went to Dec's for breakfast, he found both in a very bad mood  
Ant: "What is it?"

Ali: "They searched the Dressing room  and lift shafts . Both cases are deemed as accidents. We have nothing with us to prove that it is not. May be we were wrong"

Ant: "You believe that these are coincidences?

Dec: " There is no way to prove otherwise. Shit!"

Ant: "May be these are. What if we are  giving more thought to it?"

Ali : "We still asked them to open the case officially. But our lawyers called me to say that we cant press charges against Samuel for it. May be we are thinking a bit more on it"

Dec: "May be.  I really hope these are coincidences"

Ali : "The cops had searched Samuel and his calls after the dressing room incident. They found nothing. They are now examining the CCTV footages which they think have been manipulated"

Ant : "Manipulated?"

Dec: "Yeah. Someone got inside the system. But they still dont know whether it have something to do with the presence of that gas in the room"

Ali : "We have to go to court today, remember? It will be a private hearing. Samuel and his lawyer will also be there"

Dec : "Hmm...Let's have our food and get ready"

 

*****

 

One hour later, Joe took them to the court. Stephen also went with them as he could be one of the witnesses and also because he was near to their home. As they reached the court, they saw reporters ready with their cameras pointed at them.

Stephen : "What the hell? How do they come to know about these things? "

Ant: " Who knows, lets go"

They made their way swiftly through the paps and reached the stairs to see Rachel with their solicitors Richard West and Carl Claremont  . They exchanged handshakes and went to a small office in the building and the lawyers started explaining the case to them. 

Richard:  "Never react to anything they say in the courtroom. They will try everything  they can to defend their case. We shouldn't fall for their accusations or any other sorts of verbal assaults"

Ant:" What do you mean ?"

Rachel : "Ant, he meant that , as we had accused Samuel for hurting Dec, Samuel could also accuse us back with things true or cooked up so as to defend his case"

Dec: "So we should be calm infront of the judges when such a thing happens?"

Carl: "Exactly "

They discussed more about the case and possible outcomes  until they reached the court room. 

******

Ant, Dec and Carl entered the room while Ali, Rachel, Stephen and Richard stood outside waiting for the hearing to finish. As he entered the room,  Ant saw a smug faced Samuel standing at an end of the small room with his lawyer.

There were two magistrates and an advisor, sitting around a firm wooden table . They all join them.

Magistrate 1: "We dont usually put such private hearings. But as the problem is not yet specified,  the status of the people involved and due to the oppurtunity for a compromise talk, we called for this. We dont care about the proceedings or formats in this session. So lets start with the defender"

Samuel's lawyer: "Sir, my client is innocent of any sort of accusations about hurting the petitioners in any manner. As you have read from our file, he was a producer of the show and he just agreed to put out an act onstage without knowing the consequences"

Carl: "Without knowing the consequences?"

Magistrate2 : "Mr. Claremont,  we will give you ample time to share your views . So please let the defender talk"

Samuel's lawyer continued  
"My client had no idea on how the petitioners would react and they reacted to an extend that Mr McPartlin even threatened him afterwards"

Magisate 1 look at Ant who doesn't bat an eyelid at the accusation "What do you have to say about that Mr McPartlin? "

Ant: "He is right. I did ask him to stay away from Dec as I knew he will try to hurt him again. Which he did by the way"

Magistrate 2: "Pardon?"

Dec: " Sir, after the incident Samuel followed  us throughout the audition venue and silently threatened me that he will hurt either Ant or my wife Ali. I was really worried"

Carl: "For past 4 days, my cilents were going through physical and emotional dilemmas and we believe Samuel has a great part in the things happening to them"

Samuel's lawyer: " I deny that  Sir, the only thing Samuel did was to agree to that act to be put on the show"

Dec: "And ask the magician to hide it from me, even after knowing that it could hurt me?"

Samuel's Lawyer: "He didn't knew that"

Dec: "He did!  He just wanted his ratings up.."

Samuel's Lawyer: "He didn't knew you were so close to Mr McPartlin, that you would even run through that fire to rescue him"

The Magistrates looked at him in wonder  
Magistrate2: " Then he might be lying about his nationality in these forms. He is British right?"

Samuel's Lawyer blushed at that "Sorry sir, I meant, my client had no intension of hurting the petitioners. And also, the accusations are put forward by Mr Donnelly"  He then produces a pen drive "I kindly ask you to put this on screen and watch it"

The video was clips of Dec from that day compiled in one.  
Magistrate 2 : "What is that you want to prove?"

Samuel's Lawyer: "As you could see.. Mr  Donnelly was completely out of his mind during the day. He was very much distracted even before the act started and he was the one who pushed Ant onstage. He was very much unprofessional and was out if his self when the act ended . He even decided to quit the show,  prompting Mr McPartlin to hit him afterwards"

Carl: "That accusaton is clearly bizarre.  My client.."

Samuel's lawyer : "Is it? Then so is yours. As you can see, Mr Donnelly was not in his normal self to think straight and he might have felt my client to be threatening. And about the other accusations, who knows maybe Mr Donnelly is behind all this? Maybe he was angry at Mr McPartlin  for slapping him in public or there could be some career disagreements..."

Samuel, without anyone seeing, smirked at Ant who held his knuckles tight in control 

Magistrate 2:  "....Samuel Worth...you have  something to say Mr. Worth ?"

Samuel : "Sir, I am innocent. As my lawyer said, Declan was clearly out of his mind and accused me unnecessarily for things I wasn't even aware of. And it is not a secret fact that he have a bigger motive to harm Ant than us all."

Ant looked at him in shock and terror "What do you mean Samuel? That Dec is behind everything happening to me?"

Samuel: "Last time I heard, you were insured against each other"

Dec looked at him in shock, while Magistrates jotted something down. Dec didnt mind what Samuel thought or what magistrates will think but he starts to feel panic and helplessness thinking What if Ant too starts to feel like that? 

Tears of frustration and panic well up in his eyes which he swallow with pain.  
I would never even think of hurting him..... Even if it costs me my life.

 

 

 

 

TBC

*A real incident, extracted from their book Ooh What a Lovely Pair; Our Story

** Extracted from their answer to one web magazine interview when asked about giving each other space


	24. Nothing ends here...

I would never even think of hurting him..... Even if it costs me my life.

 

 

Dec felt his throat catching as he looked at Ant. But Ant didn't return his gaze. Dec felt his own heart shattering in his chest  
Dont believe him Ant.. I will never do a thing like that...Anth...  
He willed with all his might for Ant to look at him but he doesnt...  
It was then that he realised whom Ant was looking at ... Ant's eyes were trained on Samuel, a tight frown appearing on his eyebrows.

Dec felt distress and fury rising inside him .He wanted to shout at Samuel but his throat didnt comply with him as it was tight with panic...

But Ant did it for him, with a voice hard and octave

Ant: "How dare you Samuel!!! How dare you accuse him when you so well know that you are the one who caused this all?!! When you..."

Before he could lunge at him, Carl caught his arm and pulled him back. Ant looked at Samuel in all rage and leaned back on his chair to compose himself. Dec gingerly held his elbow and rubbed lightly. Feeling Dec's worry and distress, Ant just placed his palm on Dec's hand and sighed.

Magistrate 2: "I will advice you to stay quiet Mr. Mcpartlin, and I really hope the defenders understand the graveness of the situation before letting out such accusations"

Samuel's Lawyer:"Sir, my client just meant that he have no motive and that had no idea things would turn out to be so bad. He had no intension of hurting the petitioners physically or emotionally"

"Magistrate: "Let's just say the petitioners are wrong. What about the witnesses? As far as we know your client was fired as his employers were totally convinced of his mistakes. You cannot prove it otherwise and producing loosely edited clips are not going to help you in this. Moreover, accusing one of the petitioners for your client's mistake is not the best move.

Samuel's lawyer: "Sir I meant.."

Magistrate2 : "I know what you meant and its not going to help you. It is clear that your client did assault the petitioners psychologically. We are not referring it to the higher courts as we could solve it here. Petitioners have point on their part and it is clear that samuel had used Mr Donnelly's feelings for TV ratings"

The Magistrates discuss the situation and call Stephen and Ali in, to hear their parts. After listening to everything, they turned to the people infront of them.

Magistrate1 :"We have come to the conclusion to decide this case in favour of the petitioners. Samuel have to pay them the definite compensation and the BGT decision to shred him off his job stays viable. What he did with the act was unprofessional and inhuman. But further accusations against the defendant could not proved at this point of the case and we are referring the same to the police with a deadline to submit the reports. If the case continues, it will be taken for official court hearings and further decisions will be taken from the higher courts. That's it on this case.

 

******

 

 

They exit the room in a tensed silence. Samuel and his lawyer walks ahead, followed by Ant and Dec and Carl, while rest tagged along.

As they reached the first set of stairs, Ant suddenly moved to Samuel, took him by his collar and pushed him to the wall in all force as he had done three days ago , choking him. 

"Bastard!!! You filthy rag.. how dare you!! how dare you accuse Declan! How dare you call him senseless and how dare you threaten him you maggot! I had warned you once already you fucking bastard! I warned you to Leave Him Alone!!!!!"   
He shouted

Stephen and Dec caught him before he could throw any punches at Samuel, who stood there with the same smug look.

Stephen :" Stop it Ant.. you can't lose your temper now ..Not here, come on.. lets go man.."

He pulled Ant by his arms forcefully, who follow him after throwing a hard, steel stare at Samuel.

 

 

******

 

Dec watch him being pulled away by Stephen and turn to Samuel with rage and shock. But a shudder pass through him as he see the other man smirking at him.

Samuel takes a step closer to Dec, without the notice of Ali, who had started following others. He realise that they were the only one's left and move more close to him and whisper in his ear

"Your friend there.."   
he say gesturing where Ant went with Stephen   
"...he is soo lucky!... Infact...Very!.. much!.. lucky!!..." 

he smirk, his lips closer to a now stunned Dec   
"vherry.. vherryy.. lucky !!!!"

Dec felt light headed as the realisation strike him. His heart sprinted in his chest and tears of rage and panic well up in his eyes, now wide with fear. Samuel stretches his smirk pleased with himself and look straight into his eyes "Let's see, how long his luck could keep him alive"

Dec look at him in pain and plead suddenly letting his guard down before this man, for Ant's sake

"Samuel... please... dont...I.. I will give you anything.please!not him.. dont...I beg you.. not Anth..not him, Samuel" 

Samuel smile wide at Dec's pleading tone and before walking away the other way, whisper once again with malice and contempt 

 

 

"Start counting Mr Donnelly"

 

 

 

 

TBC


	25. He Can Hurt Us

"Keep counting Mr Donnelly...."

As they went to the Palladium in their car, Ant puts an arm around Dec. Only then did Stephen see tremors attacking Dec. His eyes were wide and body shaking visibly. 

Ant held him close and soothed "Calm down Dec, no one will hurt us. Nothing will go wrong Dec, its all okay now. Everything's solved"

Dec: "Nothing's solved Ant, nothing's fine. Its him.. it was him always.."

Ant: " Dec.."

Dec: "He said to me..."

Ant:" What?!"

Dec: " When you went with Stephen, he said to me"

Ant:" You spoke to him?"

Dec: "No.. he did.. he said you were lucky" 

Dec's voice was broken in pain, tears of fear welling up in his eyes.Ant see this and pull him close 

Ant: "Decs.. calm down. I am fine see.."

Dec: "Its him Ant... and we can do nothing about it... He will try it again"

Ant still couldnt deny the fright that crept in his mind when he thought about the lift accident   
If Dec had taken it

Ant: "Calm down Dec, cops have opened the case. Don't worry. He can't touch us anymore"

Stephen was shocked to speak anything. If what Dec says is true, which undoubtedly is,  then they have to be more careful.

Dec cushioned his head in Ant's collar bone and Ant realised that there is something more  
"What is it kidda?".

Dec: "Ant.. he tried to split us.. he said I will.. he said I have motives, that I..."

Ant: "Don't! He is trying to wind us up you see,  he know your weakness.. he know your fright don't let him use that against you"

Stephen: "Guys, I have this feeling that he is not alone. Either he is asking someone to do these for him or there is someone else included in this whole mess with him.

Ant: " We have to be more careful. You too Stephen. Now that he knows you are with us"

Stephen : "I am just one of the witnesses Ant, dont worry . I am more worried for you guys"

Dec look at Ant in panic "Ant.. Ali!!"

Ant: "Calm down Dec, she is safe in James Grant. We can call her to tell not to go anywhere alone. And to call for Joe if she have to"   
He then turns to their driver "Joe, go to Ali will you? Don't let her leave alone.Take Junior with you" He says turning to their bodyguard infront

Junior: "But sir.."

Ant: "She is our major concern. We have guards at BGT"

Stephen : "I will make sure of that"

As they reach the venue, Ant and Dec and Stephen walk to the building while Joe and Junior drove to where Ali is.

******

Even when the auditions started, Dec stood closer to Ant,as if afraid of losing him. He never let Ant out of sight even when he went to talk to the acts. Ant felt sad knowing that there is nothing that he could do to erase Dec's fright. But he tried to talk to him in vain "Dec.. listen to me mate. Dont be afraid kidda"

"I cant help it Ant.. nor could you. I know you are keeping it to yourself until night, to struggle with it alone. I can't do that "

Ant didn't say anything but just pulled him closer as he knew what Dec said is correct. He won't get any sleep today. 

 

They didnt notice the new light technician talking to his sleeves. 

 

 

 

TBC


	26. Nothing Can Hurt Us

The auditions progressed without many trouble and the duo enjoyed it so much that by break time, they forgot every bit of tensions they had.  

They were bantering about which cookie to choose from their box, when Stephen entered with his crew.

"Hi guyss"

Ant imitated him "haiy guyis"

Stephen:  "I dont always do that.. so how's the show going?"

Dec: "Good. We have lot more variety in London this year. Bit gutted that they didnt include Newcastle in their list this year"

Stephen: "I bet you are"

Ant : "I think you have something to do with it.. do you Mullers? "

Stephen: "You are angry that you  missed a free trip home"

Dec: "Yeah"

They were laughing at that when a crew member came with their latte. As he reached near the trio,  he suddenly tripped over a cable lying on the floor and lunged forward spilling the whole coffee  into Ant's torso.

Ant: " Bloody hell ..."

Dec and Stephen couldnt stop their laugh while the crew member starts a shower of apology.

Ant comforted him while Dec looked over Ant in concern but with a bit of hidden amusement "Was it hot? Did it hurt you?"

Ant: "A bit.. but look at my shirt.. have to clean it"

Stephen : "Better you change it .. I can smell coffee on it"

Ant: " Okay, will be right back.."

Dec couldnt hold the laughter this time as he giggled like a teenager while Ant looked at the cameras and said "he is laughing at me!!" He too laughed while he walked to his dressing room.

Stephen : "I dont think he is happy that you laughed at him"

Dec : "Only best friends laugh at these moments pal. He will understand me"

Stephen :"Okey then.. see you later Dec.."

Dec: "Ohh I am not looking forward to it"

Stephen: "Unbelievable"

*******

 

 

Dec was waiting at the wings for Ant. The audition had started and he was nowhere in sight. Dec knew nothing could go wrong but an unease started creeping into his mind. He tried Ant's phone but found it unreachable which was understandable as often in such venues, their rooms lacked range. But as time passed he felt the unease unavoidable,  and slowly excused from there and went in search of Ant. 

As he reached Ant's dressing room, he found it bolted and opened it to find everything in place except a pair of shirt and jeans. Ant was here. Where did he go? 

He was about to go to the canteen area when he saw Ali and a couple of people in uniform coming to him. Cops!

Ali: " Dec, this is inspector Alph. He is behind the case concerning Samuel. He have something to tell you"

Dec : "You found something?"

Alph: "Yeah" He took a file with some photos "We found that what all  happened with both of you for past few days are not accidents. The CCTV pictures of both hotel and dressing room were manipulated and it could only be done by an insider. But the insider forgot to do the same with those in the corridors and entrance. So finding the one who did it was not hard. We caught the technician who rigged both Air Cooler and lift shaft and he confessed that Samuel was the one who asked him to do that"

Dec tightened his knuckles at that name and the cop continued.  
"But the most terrible news is that he is not the only one. Every newly appointed employee here are the spies of Samuel,employed to tag every move of yours. Unfortunately we couldn't track Samuel but we are sure that he is somewhere here"

Dec: " Our crew is involved?"

Alph: "Some of them.. those who had been appointed four days ago to be specific"

Dec remembered Simon's conversation with that security guard a couple of days ago  
No wonder Simon was unaware of new appointments

Ali: "Samuel played a great game but failed "

Dec :  "He could have won"

Alph: " He didnt, and we will make sure that he never will. We are here to find him and his team"

Ali : "Why are you not in the wing Dec?"

Dec: "I was looking for Ant. Someone spilled coffee on him and he came here to change but I cant find him now.  Dont know to where he wandered off "

Ali : "Ooh okey.. "

Alph : "Mrs Donnelly,  if you dont mind.. could you please accompany us around the area?"

Ali blushed at that salutation while Dec laughed and said   
"Ms Astell will love to do that" and winked at her. 

As she and the  inspector turned away from him, his phone rang to show Ant's call

Dec: "Where are you man..  been waiting for you. You reached the wing?"

The voice that spoke to him in return glued him to that spot  
"I asked you to count, Mr Donnelly... did you?"

Dec felt his knees buckling and heart racing as it was the last voice he wanted to hear "Samuel!!!"

Samuel: "Now, now...Don't call anyone or try to signal your wife or her new acquaintance. Wont do good for your best mate"

Dec : "Where is Ant?How did you find.."

Samuel: "His phone? Just had to get to him"

Dec felt his blood draining "Where is he? Where are you?!!"

Samuel: "He is with me.. I am at his home"

Dec: "What do you want Samuel?"

Samuel: "A simple thing... your signature . Just want your signature on a paper stating that you will withdraw every charges you had put against me and request to hire me back "

Dec: "I will. Leave Ant alone and I will call our lawyers"

Dec: "No no.. no...  Better this stay between the three of us. If you really want to see your wingman alive, come to his home. We will be waiting for you here".

Dec: "You...  How did you"

Samuel: "Get him? It was easy. Just had to say that I have you and your poor friend jumped into your car and reached here. And that stupid bodyguard of yours. Why did he stand in my way? I hope your friend dont have that fate"

Dec: "You Bitch.."

Samuel: "Dont Donnelly.... Just carry on my instructions. Its just a sign that I ask for"

Dec: "Tell me how" he gritted his teeth

Samuel: "Never speak or signal anyone and without their notice, move out. There is an old white Suzuki outside with the key in the ignition. Take it and come here. Dont forget to switch your phone off.. I hope its clear Mr. Donnelly.. Time is running..."

Dec felt his eyes welling up   
"Ant.. ?"

"He is here.."

"I want to speak to.."

"Dont act smart Donnelly. .. Time is precious!! I did ask you to count... Just continue doing it... And do it fast. You already know that my eyes are on you"

The call was cut before he could reply. He turned to see the receding figures of Ali and cops. 

I could say it now...I  could ask them for help. But no!! If Samuel get to know about it, Ant could be in danger .I have to do what he had asked me to. Nothing is more important than Ant at the moment. Not this case, not my ego and not even my life.

 

Dec pocketed his phone and walked to the exit, his head bowed low. Ali and inspector had turned to another corridor and he prayed that they won't look around.

Ant should be safe. I hope he is!!! Ohh no! Junior!  If he is hurt, then.. hope Joe is alright. He can hurt anyone... he can hurt Ant. He will hurt him just like he did to Juni... he stopped in his track as something struck his mind. His eye widened as realisation hit him and confusion arose in him. Then things began to dawn quickly. 

 

Within seconds, he was turning around and running away from the exit.... " Aliii..."

 

 

 

 

 

TBC


	27. There is More to It

Ali was asking inspector the whereabouts of Samuel. He had put his phone off and the last tower he was at is close to the venue; He may be here. They were about to enter the backstage when she heard Dec calling her "Ali..."

They turned around to see him running to them.  
Ali: "Dec, what is it?"

He looked at the inspector "You have to track Ant's phone immediately. Its with Samuel and he is here"

Everyone was shocked at that Ali:"How did you..."

Dec: "He called me from Ant's phone to say he have Ant and asked me to go to Ant's home .He wanted me to sign the documents that could free him of all changes and get him back to work. He  threatened me that if I didnt, he will hurt Ant. He told me that he had asked Ant to return  home in our car saying he had me in custody. He also said that he had hurt Junior and will also hurt Ant.."

Ali : "What?!! but Dec!"

Dec : "Exactly. Ant could never take our car as  it was with you and so were Junior and Joe and you just reached now!"

Ali: "Yeah. They are outside now, I am sure"

Dec: "He also said that he know you are with the cops. He might have seen you entering together"

Alph had already asked to search for the phone   
"Mr. Donnelly, could you please call him back? We have to pinpoint the location and at the moment we cannot establish a connection"

Trembling, Dec dialed the number like he had done so many times. Only now,  it would be picked up by his arch enemy. He could hear his heart in his ears as he waited for Samuel to pick up but it didn't. Instead it went to Ant's voicemail. Dec felt tears in his eyes as he heard his friend's voice grumpy but still cheery..... just like him. 

He pressed end button in frustration.  
Dec: " I can't reach him"

Alph: "Its okay. The next time he calls you, our servers will tag him. I think now we should focus on finding Mr McPartlin"

Dec trembled at that "Don't known where to find him. What if Samuel has him? Not at his home but still.. God if I had taken that car"

Alph: "Which car?"

Dec: "Samuel asked me to reach Ant's home in a car he had arranged. I was about to go and then I realised my mistake"

Ali: "Thank god, Declan! Thank god you didnt do what he asked you to. It might be a trap"

Dec: " It might be. He told me that it is an old white one with key on the ignition"

Alph: "We will take care of that. Now that we know Mr McPartlin  is no longer with him, we have to find how he got the phone and where Mr McPartlin is"

Dec: "You are right. I am sure he was inside his dressing room as his dress was missing but I didnt find his stained shirt. May be he went to mine to change... But why would he?"

Ali: " Lets just go and check"

Alph: "We will take care of the rest and call me if you dont find him. Here's my card. I will meet you later"

Dec: " Thank you, sir"

As the inspector left them, they ran to Dec's dressing room. Dec was afraid to hope but he still prayed Ant will be there, he wished he is . But to his despire, as he reached for the bolt, he found it locked.

Ali: "Its locked... where will we search for him now? May be we should call Alph?" Ali stopped short as she saw Dec trembling beside her.

Dec couldn't hold the shiver that passed through him this time.He felt steel on his tongue.  What if he was wrong? What if Samuel really had Ant with him?What if Samuel had seen him talking to Ali and cops??

Just then his phone ringed to show Ant's number 

"Oh No!"

 

 

TBC


	28. Questions Unresolved

His phone ringed to show Ant's number 

"Oh No!"

 

Dec held the phone tight as he attended the call, signaling Ali to stay quiet "Samuel?"

"Of course its me Mr Donnelly... Where are you?"

"I.. I was about to come to you. It was tough to get out without anyone noticing"   
Dec took the risk. Hope Samuel hadnt noticed anything 

"Well.. well.. time is a precious little thing Dec" he spat the name "I hope you are not stupid enough to let it slip...."

Dec still couldnt decide whether to believe him or not. Then he realised that Ant's phone is being tagged by the cops. Samuel just counted down his own time. But Dec continued the game.  
"I know Samuel... I will be there.."

"Good" the line went dead as Dec leaned on to the door.

Ali: "Dec.. did he buy it?"

Dec: "I hope he did... where is Ant Ali.. where should we search for him"

Ali: "Don't fall weak Declan, maybe we should call the cops. They might have already found the phone. We could reach Ant once we reach Samuel"

Dec: "I hope he is alright Ali.. I hope he is not hurt.." Dec felt his cheeks getting cold and leaned closer to the door as he suddenly felt light headed

Ali: "Dec, are you alright? You feeling sick?"

Dec: "Just tired Ali.." He pressed his cheeks closer to the door as if to channel his fatigue into the woods as Ali dialed Alph.

 

 

******

 

Outside, Alph had just heard the information on the location of Samuel.  
He radioed his team and asked them all to get ready and reported them the location of Samuel so as to not let him slip.

He was circling the car that Dec had tipped them off. The key was still in ignition and the mirrors were broken. The mechanic he had called for is busy pulling out and putting in nuts and bolts. Alph waited for his team to join him while he watched him checking every bit of the car.   
This was a routine procedure for such cases. Alph still didn't understand why Samuel called Dec to Ant's home. There is something that we are missing. Something that didn't fall into these pieces.

He saw his team approaching in haste . Everything will be cleared once they reach Samuel. And he can lead me to wherever Ant is... 

He turned sensing a tap on his shoulders and saw the mechanic looking at him in worry. 

"You checked the car?"

" Yeah" he frowned

"What is it?!!"

 

******

 

Alph was still reeling from what he had heard while he made his way to where they had spotted Ant's phone. He wanted to find Samuel as soon as possible. Not because he will hurt Ant. Ant maynot even be in his custody. Because if the mechanic is correct which he surely is, then Ant was not Samuel's target.  
He never has been......

In the hurry of it all, he didn't feel the phone in his backpocket, now in silent mode lighting up in intervals.

Meanwhile, Ali ended the call for the fourth time as she too leaned to the wall, close to the door on which Dec has his cheeks pressed to. She could see fear and despire in his eyes. She slowly put a hand on his shoulder, a silent plea to stay strong. 

"Where is he Ali.. why is the inspector ignoring us.. why hasnt Samuel called yet? Were we late Ali?" 

His voice broke at the end as he concentrated on his breathing in an effort to stay strong and calm.

Ali was looking at him in concern. She knew Dec was sad and afraid but this was not the time to fall weak. Suddenly Dec jolted as if hit by something, with a frown on his brows and glued his cheeks again to the door, this time deliberately.

Ali:"Dec.. are you okay.. what happened!!!??"

 

 

 

 

 

TBC


	29. Unexpected Revelations

"Dec.. are you okay.. what happened!!!??"

Dec held his hand up to silence her "wait... I could hear someone banging"

Ali: " What? Someone's inside?"

Dec: " Its muffled. May be from the bathroom?"

Ali: " We should call the police Dec, what if its Samuel..."

Dec didnt wait for Ali to finish as he unlatched the door and entered 

Ali: "Dec!!!!"

He went straight to the attached bathroom from where he could hear urgent banging 

Ali: "Dec... please "

Dec slowly approached the door and listened for the voice but all he could hear was someone hitting the door in frustration and may be anger.

Dec slowly held the latch of the the door, signalling Ali to move away to protect her from whatever trouble they would have to face. He cautiosly unlatched the door, waited for it to open and said with a trembling voice "I have unlatched it... come out..."

He was taken aback when the door was pulled back in urgency and the body behind it jumped out in joy " Decky..."

Dec felt relief and joy flooding inside him as he watched his friend looking at him in gratitude 

Ant!!

Dec lunged at him and hugged him hard "Ant!!!"

Ant: "Oh.. O Man.. Decky.. what happened ?" He returned the hug with a slight frown.

Dec: "Ant!!..why are you here and not in your room? " he asked slightly leaning away from the hug but hands around each other. 

Ant : "I went there first Dec, but there were no water in the shower or the faucet. So I came to your room to get fresh. But as I changed and tried to come out, the door was locked. My phone was outside and I had no way to contact anyone and.."

Dec: " Your phone is with Samuel now"

Ant: " What?!!" 

Dec explains to him everything and frown as emotions flip through Ant's face, atlast deciding on fear. Ant suddenly move closer to hug him to his chest "Thank god you thought that Decky.. Oh god!! If you had fallen for it.. he might have set this all up to trap me in here and get you alone "

Dec: "May be.."

Ali : " You are right Ant.. now that we know you are safe, lets wait for cops to call us"

Ant nod at Ali and place a hand around Dec's shoulder pulling him closer.Dec knew Ant well enough to realise the reason behind that sweet gesture.

Dec: "Stop worrying Ant.. all these will be over in a minute"

Ant:"I dont know Dec.. What's happening.."

Dec pulled him closer and hugged him tight "What all had to happen.. happend.. lets hope the cops would reach Samuel before he can do anything more"

Ant just nodded and shut his thoughts as possible scenarios of what could have happened passed through his mind

 

******

 

As they were exiting the room, Alph came to them. "Mr Donnelly..! Mr McPartlin, good thing that we found you"

Dec: "Inspector, did you get him?"

Alph: "We did. He was hiding in the prop room. The security he had planted helped him with that. We arrested him and the 20 workers he had planted to spy on you"

Ant: "20!??"

Alph: "Yeah!! man of resources he is. But not a good planner by the sight of things"

Ali: "Sir, so we could press the charges? "

Alph : "Mr Cowell did it already and I will make sure that he wont trouble you further. Mr McPartlin, here is your phone" Ant takes it and frowns while he swipes through it. Alph turn to Dec

Alph: "Err Mr. Donnelly.. I am glad you are okay... "

Dec: "Me?"

Alph: "Yeah! We just found something that made us think about your safety, more than anything else"

Everyone looked at him in confusion.But Dec knew what was coming, as Alph continued 

"Samuel was not targeting Mr McPartlin. He was targeting You"

Ant felt his blood draining "What?How do you know that? What made you think.."

Alph: " After Mr Donnelly tipped us about the car Samuel had asked him to take, we searched it as part of our routine precaution and.... we found its break to be broken!!!! And also, thinking about the road you have to take to reach Mr McPartlin's house, you are really lucky to be here"

Ali supressed a shocked sob and Ant flinched beside Dec. Dec just stood nonchalant as deep inside, he knew he was the target.This caught Ant's attention.

Ant: "Dec... you .. you knew?"

Dec looked at him in loss "I had a doubt. But no.. not about the car"

Ant felt a deep gratitude for God for the first time in his life as he pulled the smaller man closer to him. He felt an odd sensation that there is more to happen than they had already gone through...

Alph's radio suddenly crackled and he turned to the corridors from where a small group of people was approaching them.

Leading them was two of Alph's men and amidst them, his hands cuffed to his front, was Samuel..

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC


	30. Nothing's Over. . .  Yet

Dec felt an odd sensation of fear when he saw Samuel . The man looked very much relaxed and even after being in handcuffs, he doesnt let go of his arrogance. He had a slight smirk on his face as he walked to the exit flanked by the cops. Dec briefly looked at Ant, who held his brows tight and Dec had seen him many times like this to know that Ant must be gritting his teeth. Samuel still had that winning smirk on his face . But as the cops who held him stopped in front of Alph, and he saw Declan.. his smirk fell, and was replaced by frustratuon and rage. 

He growled at Dec. "You didn't take that car"

Dec looked at Samuel in dumbfounded shock while Ant tightened his knuckles.

Samuel looked at Dec with pure hate "You didn't die"

Samuel felt a fist cracking his jaw as Ant struck him with all his might. Dec was shocked at Ant's action and he pulled Ant away, as Alph moved between them and Samuel "This is highly inappropriate Mr McPartlin"

Ant:"Not when he is threatening Dec infront of me.."

Alph: "That's why we are here.So please calm down and let us do our duty" He turned to the man in handcuffs but was taken aback to see blood flowing from his mouth. The punch was not that hard.

As everyone looked at him in astonished silence, suddenly and awkwardly Samuel raised his handcuffed hands to his mouth and pulled out something. Alph couldnt act fast and nor could anyone. Ant, Ali and the whole set of cops could only watch in terror as he lunged forward and pushed Ant aside .

And Ant was too late to shout "Dec!!!!!" 

The next thing he saw was Dec falling to his knees holding the side of his neck, screaming...As Dec's knees gave away and he sinked to the ground Ant slid under him to break his fall and pulled Dec to his chest. He took his jacket and applied pressure to Dec's neck as the smaller man showed signs of passing out. Ali pried herself from shock and sat beside her husband, fear and tears rocking her frame. "Dec.. Dec oh no... Dec.."

Alph pulled Samuel away and punched him in the gut, before a few cops took him away leaving the officer to call for immediate medical assistance. A few other cops started giving the primary first aids for Declan. Alph called the medic and watched in fear at the three people on the ground in tears while Ant's white shirt started to turn crimson.

Ant's POV

After punching Samuel, I did feel a lot more satisfaction. I didnt care Alph chastising me as I saw Samuel looking at me in fury .But his eyes were also shifting to Dec in intervals. I was suddenly distracted to see that his mouth was bleeding  My punch was not that hard

I know neither Dec nor Alph is happy with my act.But I dont care; not when it is about Declan. I knew Dec is terrified of my act and I was half turning to reassure him when I saw samuel moving..

He pushed me aside and lunged at Dec and I see something small...steel.. and shiny in his hand. Fear coursed through my body as the only thing I could do was to yell out "Dec!!!!!"

Before I could process what was happening, Dec's knees fall to the floor, blood flowing freely from his neck, collar and now speading down his shirt .

No!! Dec Dec.... His balance begins to sway and I on instinct slide under him,pulling him to me Declan!!

The blood was flowing in abundance and I take off my jacket, hold him to my lap and place the jacket to his neck to apply pressure. Ali was beside me in terror and tears and I can do nothing to comfort her. I didn't see cops taking Samuel but within seconds, they were near me, giving Dec the primary precautions as they called for medics. Dec's pained and frantic eyes find me and he look at me in panic "Ant.."

I feel fear chocking my senses as I hear his voice weezing and strained.

"Decky.. Dont talk.. you will be alright Decs, dont talk man.. keep calm" But I know my own voice is anything but calm.

"Ant.. Ali..take care of.. her..Ant.."

"Decs please you are going to be okay.. just calm down man"

"An..t.. I am afr..aid.. Ant .." Dec's cheeks were soaked in tears of pain and fear as he strained to tell Ant all he had to

"Anth..my mom..Ant th it hurts...help m..m mee Aanhth.. I wan na liv..."

You are going to live Declan I assure him in my mind. I couldnt voice it as tears chocked my eyes and throat and I let them all fall freely so that I could assure my only friend that he is going to live. He must!

Third POV

Ant couldnt stop his tears as his friend struggled to say his name.He tries hard to comfort him as tears choked him. At last he let it all go and pulls Declan close to his chest "Decky fight for me man... nothing will happen to you .. You have my word Decky...I love you pal... dont sleep kidda... stay awake for us man.. for me..."

Ant pulls Dec closer and caress and kiss his cheeks and hair as Ali watch it all in fear and panic.  
Fight for me Dec..We cant live without you she prays

Ant tries to comfort Dec as possible as he can as cops tried their best to lessen the blood flow. Dec was still looking at Ant, a lot of emotions going through his mind and Ant couldn't hold the silent tears as he bit his tongue hard so as to not to voice it. "An..t.. yoour shirrtht hhth "

Ant looks at his shirt to see bright red. Dec can never handle the sight if blood "Declan.. kidda.. look into my eyes pal.. look at me Decs.." and Dec does that. Dec looks straight at him with eyes filled with pain, fear and somewhere inside a deep hint of affection... a hint of gratitude.. a hint of... loss . A look that will haunt Ant for the rest of his life.  
"You will be alright Decs.. trust me"

Ant feels fear coming back in full swing as the stretcher arrives and Dec is taken away from his lap. But as he is lifted to the stretcher, he hold on to Ant's hand tight and look at him in urgency "Ant.... pr..ay for me...I.. lufv lofv you ...tell Al.. Alii too I luvf.." his eyes were cringed in pain.

Ali moves close "I love you too Declan.. " Dec looks at her with whole love he could put in his looks and then turns to Ant in panic as his senses starts to give up  "Anhh.."

"Dec.. don't give up kidda.. I love you too.. you will be alright.....Deckey.. fight for us!" Ant's eyes meet the drowsy eyes that are miserably trying to stay open but failing. As it slowly gives up and closes, the strong hold on his hands slacken and Dec's arms fall loose to his sides  
Decky!!!! .....

As Dec is taken to the ambulance, Ant holds a distraught Ali close to him, both seeking comfort in each other's warmth. 

Alph slowly walks to them and puts his arms on Ant's shoulder 

" You coming?"

 

 

 

 

 

TBC


	31. When World Seems Crashing Around Your Ears

As they reached the hospital Ant and Ali jumped out of the police car, that had followed the ambulance taking Dec. Ali held Ant's arm tightly and he realised what was going through her mind. This is the second time they are here in last four days and Ali's experience at the first day was not too pleasant. He held her close as they made their way to the building tagging begind the stretcher that carried Dec.

Dec was out cold and the first aid measure performed by the cops had done little to stop the bleeding. Blood was still slowly drenching the cot he was on. As they reached the Intensive Care Unit, Dec was taken inside and Ant and Ali were made to sit outside. Ali was mutterung silent prayers and Ant was trying hard to control the sobs wracking him. Ali had cried on his shoulders but he couldnt let it out . Thats just not him. 

Time progressed slowly as doctors and nurses ran in and out of the room. He didn't knew who called them or how they came to know about what happened, but the next time he heard a noise approaching, he look up to find Rachel ,Georgie, Stephen and David walking to them.

As they spot him and Ali, Rachel runs to Ali and hold her close and Ant stands up and make his way to the others so as to meet them halfway. He then catch Stephen worriedly staring at him   
" Ant..!! Are you hurt??!!" 

Ant looks at him in confusion and then follow Stephen's gaze to his own shirt .He realise that he had blood all over his shirt. Ant suddenly felt exhaustion, fear and despire cracking him and he murmured "Its.. Dec ..s"

Stephen wordlessly pulled him closer without caring his bloody shirt. As Stephen's strong hands held him and David's sad eyes looked at him in concern, he was wrecked with the reality of what all happened. He felt sick and nauseous and all of a sudden his knees buckled to slip from Stephen's hold and fall down on the floor with his head on his hands and sobs erupted for his lean frame in rage of being supressed for long. 

Stephen knelt down and pulled a sobbing Ant to his chest, but it only increased the other man's despire as the sobs turned to supressed wails. Stephen felt his eyes burning and heart racing as he was strongly reminded of the day when Dec was on his chest in a similar state...

 

 

 

********

 

 

 

It was a few minutes later that the doctor came out. David moved to meet him "David Walliams " he offered his hand.

The doctor shook it with a bit of amusement "James Bradwidge, you might be waiting to know about Declan's condition"

Everyone gathered around him, praying inwardly. Doctor looked at everyone and particularly at Ant, who was struggling to stay upright due to exhaustion. 

He then adressed Alph   
"I will write the reports as fast I can and well done, bringing him in so fast" 

He then turn to others   
"Declan is now past the danger zone. The razor used on him was small but sharp and hard. It went through his Cartoid artery and Jugular vein - Eh.. They are the vessels on the neck - and there was also a potential threat for air to fill in them leading to what we call as embolism. But luckly that didnt happen"  
He looked at every one of them in concern and said in a comforting voice.  
"I said these much things so as to not to give you false hope on his recovery. He will recover for sure. But when or how is very much upto fate . Abundant blood loss didnt do good for him. Nor did the panic. But it is now safe to say that before long, you will get him healthy and back with you. But in meantime, I advise him to be admitted and observed so that the threat of embolism or infection can be identified"

Ali: "Can we see him?"

Doc: "About that... You can see him of course but I am afraid that he is still unconscious and no one could say when he will wake up... may take a few minutes, hours or even days"

Everyone flinch at that.   
"We have to wait and let his body take its own time to heal. And even then, you have to be prepared to face anything thrown at you. He can be disoriented, can have mood shifts and even in extreme cases, short term memory loss. But as I said, we all have to wait until he wakes up"

Everyone nods at him. He slowly move to Ant and check his eyes and pulse.  
"You don't look too good. Should get some rest" 

He then turns to others "Please feel free to visit him but dont crowd the room" He smile at them and walk away.

As they entered the room, Ant felt chill in his spine. Dec was laid in a rather large cot and his body cried out loneliness and comfort. Ali approached the bed and took his hand in hers. Others have decided to stay out so that they wont crowd the room. Ant slowly made his way to the other side of the bed and sat near Dec, watching his face in despire and misery as the deeply buried guilt resurfaces in him. 

"I am so sorry kidda.. I am sorry that I didn't keep my word" Ant felt tears threatening to fall as Ali snapped her head up and comforted him   
"Ant...its not your fault. You were protecting him.. No one knew what samuel was upto"

"But still Ali.. "

"No Ant, no one can care Declan like you do"

"Look at him Ali.. he is so pale.." and true to his word.. Dec's complexion had gone so pale that the white sheet below him seems ready to swallow him in whole. A thick bandage ran along his side neck and lower jaw and other than that, he looked the same.

Ant moved closer to him and spoke in his ears "Decky... open your eyes pal.. dont leave us hanging like this.."  
He hoped Dec would respond in some manner.

Ant felt fatigue coursing through him as he was met with an unresponsive Declan. The small pout on his lips reminded Ant of everytime Dec had come to him for comfort. His pout always meant his need for affection and care. Ant slowly placed his lips on Dec's forehead, pouring all the love he could conjure up at that moment for his little friend. Ali couldnt hold her tears and she wrapped both hands around Dec's wrist and wept.

A nurse entered silently and checked the monitors and noticed a pair of expectant eyes looking at her

Ant: " How's he? "

Nurse:" Dont worry. His readings are all normal and he is past the danger zone. But we have to wait for him to wake up in his own pace"

Ant: " And..what did the doctor mean by threats?"

Nurse looked at him in loss as she struggled to come up with words "There are cases where complications could arise even after surgery. In Dec's case, we are giving him ample time to wake up so that we want his bain to function normally as blood loss could also lead to some sort of brain damage. Even if in his case it hasnt occureed, we cant rule out the possibility, especially when he is so worn out. The complications can lead to worst scenarios like ..."

Ali: " No... it wont... he will wake up... I know he will..."

Nurse: " You are right. .. Until now Declan is really out of danger. And dont worry, we are trying our best to keep him so"

"Tha..nkk youu.. " Ant stuttered.

Nurse smiled at him and moved out of the room.Once they were left alone, Ali saw Ant's frustrated face and knew he need a break. She spoke slowly   
"Ant .. go out and get some fresh air..wash your face and drink something "

Ant just shook his head. But he did need some fresh air, some quiet place, some time alone...

Ali looked at him in concern "You have to let it out Ant, dont keep it in"

Ant took a deep breath to settle his emotions and looked at her  
"You will be alright here? Call me if you need anything or.... "   
he looks at Dec

Ali: " I will Ant.. "

She slowly gets up and hugs the slightly shorter man   
"he will be alright you see"

Ant nod at her, look at Dec one last time and walks out.

 

*******

 

 

After Ant had told them about Declan's present condition, Stephen and David go back to the venue deciding to arrive the next day. The auditions have been halted but everyone was waiting there to know the verdict on Dec's condition. Georgie went to talk to their PR as they have to put out a statement and Junior was around them making sure that none finds them there. Moreover to Ant's atmost relief, Rachel offered to call Dec's family and his . 

She looks at him in worry  
"Ant.. you want me to stay?"

"No Rachel.. you have kids home. Its okay now , he is stable and like. And his family will be arriving right?"

"Yeah I called Martin and he said he will speak to the family and take them here later the evening... you want me to buy you some food?"

Ant shakes his head "No.. ask Ali the same will ya? I will just take a walk and come back"

Rachel knew better than to press him. She goes to Ali and is met with same denial as she hugs her tight as thank her for everything.

As Rachel walked towards the exit, Ali slowly trod to the corridor, from where she could see the garden and the park at the middle of the building, where Rachel had seen Ant walking to.

Ali spots a familiar lean frame on a bench at the end of the park, with his hands on his head, body shaking uncontrollably as salty tears leaked through his fingers to his lap. Ant is someone who like to bear every pain alone... very much unlike Dec... But even with all those differences, none would love them more than each other. 

She knew that even if she love Dec with every cell in her body, she would fall short of providing the unbattered love Ant has for her husband.

She turn away and enters back to the room knowing she cannot give the comfort Ant needed so much.

The only person who could give him that is laid on the cot infront of her, so pale and small.

 

 

 

 

TBC


	32. Waiting...

Ant dont know how long he sat there and cried. The lingering pain doesnt seem to move away but all those crying had led his body wanting water. He slowly pulled himself up and walked to the building. The park was empty except for Junior, standing in the exit close to the ICU, watching and waiting for him. As Ant approached, he saw his condition and poured some water from the nearby purifier and offered the glass to Ant .

Ant looked at him in gratitude "Thank You"

Junior just nodded.

Ant : "You can go Junior, it's not like we are not safe here. We will be okay... Can you please take Rocky and Hurley to Stephen or Johnny? Please call them will ya?"

Junior felt uneasy to leave him alone in this condition. But as he knew that Dec's family would be here within minutes, he agrees and walks out. 

Ant slowly move to the room and open it in half to see Ali sitting near the bed and looking at Dec in earnest. He slowly close the door,  sits on the bench outside the room and wait for the Donnelly clan to arrive.

*******

 

Martin felt frustration building up in him as for the 4th time that evening he told his mother   
"No Ant haven't called yet and no there is no text from him either"

Anne was asking the same question repeatedly since he had picked her up. A fair amount of the Donnelly portion was in his car except the children and Eomenn's wife who had agreed to look after the kids after Martin had promised that he will call her regularly to update the situation. 

They even had Dermott with them who sat in the front with Martin, calm and deep in thought. Martin knew he was praying. Anne was about to ask something, probably the same question when the eldest of the family interviened  
"Mom, you know how Ant is. He might be thoroughly sad and you know he never talks to anyone when he is so, except to our Declan"  

Patricia felt something deep in her chest breaking, as she said his name. He was like her first child . Youngest of the family and the most loved Donnelly of all. She looks at Moyra, who was hugging Camelia close to her and getting comfort in each other's warmth.

Anne looked at her in fear "Thats why I am afraid Pat, I called Christine when we were about to set out and you know what? Ant didnt even call her. Why wouldnt he do that?"

Dermot broke his silence this time "I think we should wait until we reach there"

Eomenn felt a deep sense of jealousy at his younger brother who could stay so calm at times like this. As they reach the hospital, Martin parks the car and take them all in the direction Rachel had told him.

As they walked to the corridor, Martin suddenly stops everyone and points at the bench opposite to the ICU . Ant was perched on it half sitting and half lying, probably in a troubled sleep. His brows were tightened in pain and there were visible tear streaks on his cheeks and his body screamed fatigue . 

Martin looked at his mother "There's the answer for you" 

No one knew how to approach Ant but Dermott slowly takes the lead and bend near the distraught man and put an arm in his shoulder and half heartedly wakes him up from a much needed sleep "Anthony... kid.."

Ant was jolted out of his sleep in fear and looked at Dermott in anguish. Being in hospital and  woken up whilst sleeping is not always a good sign. But as his eyes focus on the man beside him, he visibly reaxes and lean to the touch "He is inside..." he says.  
He then spots the other Donnellys and stand up to walk toward them. 

As he walks to them, Anne break from the group and move forward to hug him "Ant..."

Ant hugs her tight and he see other Donnelly siblings looking at him with questions in their eyes  
He knew he have to explain   
"He is okay... they are waiting for him to wake up.. he is still un.. unconscious like"

Patricia comes forward and pull him for a half hug "Why aren't you with him Ant? Why are you  alone in the corridor?"

Ant: "Ali.. she is inside with him.. so I thought I will wait for you lot... didnt know when I fell asleep...you can visit him if you want..and Ali might need a break afterall"

Everyone enters the room but Ant couldnt watch their distress of seeing Dec in that state. He slowly move out of the room as Patricia enveloped a sobbing Ali in her arms . 

Ant stood outside facing the park he was in hours ago . He could hear Ali's and Anne's sobs from where he was outside and he couldn't avoid them or close his ears as it stabbed his heart again and again . He was pulled out of his misery as he felt a strong hand on his shoulder and turn to see Martin looking at him in concern. He was the closest of all brothers for him and Dec. 

Martin pulls Ant for a hug and Ant tries his best to control the tears but in vain as it drenches the older man's shirt. Eomenn and Dermott also join them as they walk to the adjacent cafeteria.

Martin orders a latte with more sugar for Ant as four of then sit together around the table. The brothers knew that Ant was someone who always like to be in control over situations around him. But in this case, he needed someone. And he voluntarily lets the brothers control him.

But as he see the latte infront of him he feels nauseous "Martin, I dont think I can"

Eomenn : "You have to..You need sugar in you. Look at you.. its like you just came back from a battle"

Ant looks at them in amusement "you are not bad yourself"

Everyone laughed at that. All of them were knackered and in despire but the other three were far more better than the bad state Ant was in.

"What happend?" Martin asked slowly

Ant look at him in loss, fresh tears welling up in his eyes "You know.. Samuel... he... he was arrested.As he was being taken, he ...he attacked... in neck... I could only stand and watch.. I couldn't stop him from hurting De-cc.. I..I am so sorry"  he breaks down

Eomenn moves and takes the younger man in his arms "Why are you sorry. You couldn't have done anything more . We know how much you care about our littlen. And he is always a fighter Ant.. he is gonna be okay ant"

Ant: " Doc said that too.. but look at him.. so pale and small..."

Dermott laughed affectionately at that "Dont let him know that you called him small and anyways he makes a great fuss when he is feeling sick, our little man.. you remember the day when he was affected with alcohol poisoning?"

Everyone laugh at that memory and the three brothers and the best friend sit around and launch into funny stories about the one person they all loved and cherished to the very extend.

 

 

*****

 

 

A few minutes later they return to the corridor, and the upbeat mood of Ant suddenly sinks . The coffee did take away his tiredness but that only sharpened the hidden pain inside . As they approached the room, they saw Anne sitting in the bench Ant was on moments earlier and seeing the younger man, she smiles kindly  "Christine is on her way you know "

"I haven't called her yet " Ant says sitting near her as the brothers entered the room to give them privacy.

Anne placed a hand around the younger man's shoulder who lean  to her and place his head on her shoulder, breathing in her scent. It was so like Declan.. so like his own mom.. he felt an odd sensation of calmness, the one that he was searching for since Dec fell on to his lap earlier that day    
"Anne .. .why is he still sleeping?"

Anne felt her eyes burning up as the usually collected kid let down his guard before her  
"He will Ant...Lets give him some time"

"I feel so bad.. I didn't keep my word that I will look after him"

"Dont say that Anthony..." she chastised " No one will love my boy like you. Even his brothers are jealous of that sometimes .... The way you keep him close and protect him even from himself, I can't be more thankful . And you know what Anthony, those days when you both used tour around the world or when you first moved to Fulham or when he for the first time went to live on his own, and even now, everytime you both set out for the jungle, the only comfort I had was that you were with him...You are with him... That you will take care of my youngest like I do"

"But today..."

"It was not your fault ... Ali told me everything . You always stood by him and looked after him like your own brother"

"He is more than a brother to me...."

"I know.. he will be okay Anthony..  trust me"

Ant look at her in hope as she kiss his tasseled hair. He was so unlike her son but still so like him in many ways . Anne knew the lad like her own sons. Even if he is  grown up now and more grumpy than he already was, she knew what every bit of folds in his temple meant.

She slowly takes a rosary from her bracelet and place it in Ant's palm. The younger man look at it in desperation and loss but close his palms tight around it. 

At the sight of that, Anne hugs him tighter. She cannot coax him or pamper him like she does to Declan as Ant doesnt feel comfortable with people taking care of him.  But she knew how much he needed to be looked after.  So she held him close to her for a long time, rubbing and caring his dark tresses and neck as his breath evened and he slept in the unusual calmness that he had found for the first time that day. 

Later, Martin and Dermott exited the room to see their mom coaxing her son's distressed best friend to sleep on her lap while her son was inside the ICU. They felt eyes stinging at the sight of Ant holding the cross tight to his chest as if his life depends on it . They look at the pair infront of them with affection and set out of the hospital to buy some food and to pick up Ant's family on the way.

 

 

 

Later that evening, for the first time since he can remember, without any force or unavoidable necessity, 

Anthony David McPartlin knelt before the altar of St. Patrick in London.

 

 

 

 

 

TBC


	33. Testing Times

As Ant return to the hospital he is met with his mom and Sarah, who hug him tight and fuss over him.  
"Did you eat anything today?"

"Martin gave me a latte before. I am okay mam....not hungry like"

"I know pet but you have to be strong and healthy for him okay?"

Ant just nod at her and watch her sit besitde Anne while Sarah sit beside Camilia.

An hour later, Dermott approaches Anne "I think you should take everyone home for the night and come back tomorrow"

Anne look at him in worry "But Derm.. I cant sleep well knowing Decky.."

"Decky is sleeping mom" Martin interviens. "We will call you once he wake up, I swear"

He looks at Christine for help but her stare meant only one thing. There is no way he could pry these moms out of the hospital. He looks at Ant for help but realises that the younger man have fallen asleep on Eomenn's shoulder who was also nodding off without knowing. 

Dermott tries again " Mom, Think about Ali..Sarah..Camalia and Moyra . And look at Ant, Christine, he had gone through hell today. Please take them home"

Anne and Christine considered it and finally they agrees to spend the night in Dec's home together .

Taking Ali with them was far from easy. She struggled a lot and the only thing that kept her from defying them was her respect for Anne. But Ant was stuck on his toes and nothing seemed to work on him to change his decision. At last after many hugs and tears, everyone leaves except for Eomenn, Martin , Dermott and Ant. They decides to take turns in sitting beside Dec and sitting outside to wait for him. But the brothers had silently agreed that they were not going to let Ant stay awake for long . His mind may not but his body still need a lot of rest and sleep. 

As the night ripened,the three brothers felt gravity pulling them down.Even Dermott, who was no stranger to late nights started nodding off. Luckly Ant had unknowingly slept 2 hours straight as brothers didn't wake him up. He asks Dermott to sleep with the others outside and offers to sit beside Dec. 

Dermott was a bit reluctant to leave Ant alone but he reminded himself of the fact that the kids are not 14 but 41.

 

 

 

It might be 2 after the midnight when Ant woke up as he felt something shifting beside him. He had fallen asleep with his head on Dec's hand.. he snapped out of sleep and looked at Dec in hope. Yes!! he is moving slightly.. but his eyes were closed and eyeballs were too still inside the lid unlike what happens when someone is regaining consciousness.  
A dream.. 

He urgently press the bell for nurses and bend near Dec's face "Decky.... Pal ..wake up man.. you there? .. can you hear me.. show that you can hear me.. Decs.. open your eyes man...."

A couple of Nurse run to the room hearing the urgent bell and the commotion had woken up the brothers as they too accompany them. As the nurses check Dec's pulse and monitors, Ant look at the brothers in hope and fear. "He..he moved"

Everyone looked at Dec in expectation as his body moves slightly and his breathing increase considerably, small whines erupting from his lips as he try to call out for them. But suddenly, much to their horror and deep despire, Dec asks for something or rather someone they can't bring to him.. 

Still very much unconscious, Dec's prone form calls out "Dad...."

Ant gasp at that and he looks at the brothers for help.. but they had the same mask of worry as him... Ant slowly spoke "Decky.. can you hear me.. its Ant.. wake up kidda"

But Dec didnt open eyes and started moving restlessly "Dad... dadd... it hurts..." he whines

Ant moves closer and coax him by holding his cheeks and patting him gently "Declan ... wake up man..please.." he had tears in his eyes and his words were choked Dec..lan.. please...

Decs frustration becomes apparent as he struggle to get to his dad and shoves Ant's hands aside from where it was holding his face "Dad... " 

The nurse gently holds Ant's elbow and pull him aside from struggling Dec "He is not conscious yet. He is having a dream or rather a memory as his brain waves try to decipher his state"

Ant looks at her in loss "What does that mean? His dad is not alive.. dont he remeber that?"

"At this state his conscious mind is completely switched off and so is his memory . But it is a good sign that his brain activity is getting back to normal and.."

She was cut out by Dec's desperate plea "Dadd.. Help me... "

Upon instict, Eomenn moves beside him and holds his hands and in a slightly rough voice calls him "Declan.."

Dec's movements slows down as his senses tries to convince him that his dad is near. He visibly stills and a lone tear flows down his cheeks and he slowly whimpers "Dad.." again and again.

Eomenn patiently sit near him hold his hand and coax him to sleep which he does eventually. It was too much for Ant who without letting the nurse continue, moves out of the room followed by the brothers. Once outside, he see that he was not only the one with wet cheeks. Martin sits on the bench and puts his hands in the head while Dermott holds Ant closer to him. "He might have remebered dad.. does that a lot when he is sick right?"

Ant: "I know.."

They then turn to the nurse who have joined them

Martin: " He can dream while unconscious?"

Nurse: "We are not sure what that is but it is known fact that brain activity during unconsciousness can result in such effects on patients. Whether it is dream or a memory its still not found. Its like you are in your sleep but deeper than usual and your brain throws lot of images at you which are most of the time illogical. But the body will be in the same unconscious state as if you are in a sleep paralysis cycle. But there is nothing to worry. Infact, it is a good sign that his brain is trying to catch up"

They all nod at her and yet again Ant volunteers to go in but promises that he will call Eomenn if he needs him. As he settle beside Dec's bed, he takes his palm to his lips "Dont know whether you can hear me or not Decs.... It's so lonely here without you man...please wake up fast..."

 

 

*****

 

 

The rest of the night and early morning were hard to the men outside the ICU as Dec regularly woke up asking for Dad and the brothers had to coax him to sleep. Ant was beyond tired as unlike the brothers, he had to run out for them when Dec calls out for his Dad and the brothers tried their best to keep Ant rested as they knew about his problems of anxiety and sleeplessness.

Dec's pleadings only increased as time passed and he even struggled from their hold when they tried to make him sleep. But to everyone's astonishment, as the morning dawned, Martin was met with another wish from his youngest brother... this time instead of their Dad... he called out in his sleep in a sweet and helpless voice for the other person who had held him close throught his life   
"Ant...???"

Martin felt tears in his eyes as he ran out to call Ant, who was sleeping on the bench outside with others. "Ant!!" the younger man jolts to his feet "Ant.... Declan is asking for you"

Ant bolt to the room and settles near Dec who was shouting and whimpering like he did the last night. But this time, in his lips, it was his best friend's name "Ant!!??.."

Ant moves closer and awkwardly hug Dec, without disturbing the IV and other tubes around them. He see Dec leaning to the hold and realises that even in his unconscious state, he had known his presence.  
"I am here kidda.. its okay... I am with you Dec..." 

Dec calm down instantly and a small smile appear on his lips throwing emotions all over the place for Ant as he looks at his small friend in affection who was seeing or remembering the instances they were together. He saw how Dec's lips quivered sometimes in smile and sometimes in frown. A warmth spread through Ant's body as he slowly kissed the brown tresses down his chin. He hears a little squeak.. the one that Dec usually makes when he snuggle close to Ant's neck. Ant was in full tears now, knowing how much his friend craved for his affection even while he was unconscious.

Martin was looking at all of this from where he was near the door and he smiled at the pair. Ant was the biggest and rightest decision Dec has ever taken.

He slowly walks out of the room as Ant coaxed their little brother to sleep. Once outside , he smile at his other brothers and asks cheekily   
"Is it just me who is jealous at Ant?"

Eomenn laughs at that "No.. not at all... Ant might be in so much relief now right? Poor kid"

Dermott: "Sick Declan craves so much affection and he just remembered the two people who had always given him the most comfort during distress times"

The others nod at him and settles down to steal a little more of sleep. 

They were suddenly interrupted by Junior, who arrives with food for them

"Good morning sirs how's Sir Dec?"

Martin had to smile at Junior for addressing his little brother so officially "He is still unconscious and Ant is with him now. How is everyone at home?"

"Madam asked me to bring this food for you. They are at the church and said that they will stay through the morning prayers"

Martin: "Alright... thank you"

Junior: " Sir , Rachel had called me and asked me to tell Anthony sir to call her as she cannot reach his phone. Can you please tell him the same?"

"I will ask him to call her once he comes out"

Junior nods and moves out as the brothers wait for Ant to come out as they could have food together.

Ant comes out a little while later and calls Rachel to find that Samuel had been charged and that the last day of the audiotions at London will be over with Stephen filling in some parts for them. As he returns, he see Ali near Dec, now fresh and rested.

Ali look at him in the eyes "You look worst"

"I bet"

"Bad night?"

"Mmm but Mart, Derm and Eomenn were great help. Kind of looked after me"

"I am happy they did"

"Did Doc come?"

"Yeah, just went out. Said that he is showing improvement as his brain is functioning fine . Eomenn told us about what happened yesterday. You okay? "

"Yes and no. I expected him to wake up last night"

"He will Ant.. we just have to wait"

Ant just nod at her and moves closer to Dec who seems more  like sleeping than unconscious right now and place a kiss on his temple Come back soon kid...

 

 

 

 

 

TBC


	34. Hold on to me

Three days has pased since Dec was brought and he showed no signs of waking up. He often cried or whined for affection either from his Dad or from Ant . He also asked once for Anne and Ali, showing that he really is catching up. 

Lisa had visited him with Stephen the next day. She spoke to everyone else but when she saw Ant, she just hugged him as she knew she was helpless in that situation to do anything for him.

Christine was hovering around Ant and Ali just like Anne as the mothers tried to make sure that their children are doing fine. They were adamant that they wont go back to Newcastle while Dec is still unconscious.

As the third day also passed by, Ant felt his energy leaving him. As he sat beside Dec that night, he took the rosary Anne had given him and looked at it in desperation "Pray for me..." d  
Dec had asked Decky... If only I knew how 

As he held it in his hands, he heard Dec whimpering again, calling out for Dad. He went out to look for Dermott but the brothers had gone for a short coffee break as one of them had to replace Ant later that night. Ant knew he had to do this alone this time and slowly moved closer to a frustrated Dec. Dec's whining had increased and he struggled in bed, his head slowly moving as he tried to find his Dad. Ant was concerned with his bandaged neck and he ran to Dec and held his firm close as possible without hurting him "Decs.. you are alright... he will come fast.. just wait for him kidda.. he will be here soon" he coax and care for Dec as the smaller man seemed to be sobbing in whatever state he was now. As his sobs increased, Ant felt tears drenching his dress as he knew Dec was still dreaming. He had heard that people cry in coma state or whilst being unconscious but this really freaked him out. He hugged Dec closer to his chest, his chin pressed in the brown tangles below and rubbed the shorter man's hair and neck and spine as he always did. He wiped tears from Dec's cheeks and kissed his cheek and hair as if Dec is something priceless and valuable for him to protect- which he always is. 

Ant had held Dec like this many times but today, he felt something deep in him.. a warm affection for a younger brother, for a small child , his child. He held his only friend close, more to comfort himself than to coax Dec who have quieted down and gone back to sleep. Ant didn't knew how much time passed but he was not ready to let go of Dec as he knew that it was far from over . And as expected, from somewhere around his chest, breaking his heart to million pieces again ... he heard his friend's broken and lost voice "Anth.."

Even if he had heard it often in the last two days it still shocked him. His little friend calling his name for comfort while in sleep was more than he could reason with. And the fact that he could only hug and kiss him without knowing how much affection his little friend craved for, broke his heart everytime.   
"I am here kidda.. you will be alright.. you will be fine.. just try to wake up soon.."

"Ant .....you.."

"I am here ... I am here.. just relax mate I won't leave you alone... just relax"

He felt Dec snuggling close to him but was not sure whether it was him who pulled him closer. He continued kissing the little man's hair and forehead all the while rubbing his back... comforting him "You will wake up soon kid... you will be fine..."

Dec still whispered his name.. and this time more urgently

"Antt"

Ant was taken aback by Dec's distress as he didn't know what Dec is seeing and feeling in his sleep . He hugged him tight as if he was made of crystal and rock him back and forth "Relax kidda.. relax pal" he coaxes. 

He had been through this for past two days and he knew Dec wont be dreaming for long. He soon realises that Dec was no longer sobbing and slowly kiss the brown hair under his chin, while loosening his hold a bit.

He was rellay taken aback when he heard Dec's voice again from his chest, this time a complaining moan that a cry "Aannthh"

Ant just held him again and coaxed "Yes Decky.... I am here kidda .. I wont leave ... I wont leave you Declan"

He was beyond terrified when he realised that Dec is still in dream. He holds him more close to his chest and rock him, desperate to stop him dreaming.

And then, to his atmost shock and panic, his best friend raise the voice again from his chest

"Ant .... Man you Stinks!!!!!!"

Ant snap his eyes down to his chest to see a pair of brownish blue eyes looking at him tiredly, a small cheeky smile spreading in the lips of his only friend. 

Tears came hard on Ant's cheek and increased when Dec awkwardly lifted his hands and wiped the years from his cheeks for him. Ant sobbed hard as Dec pulled him this time to his uninjured shoulders and ran his fingers through Ant's hair. 

Dec waited for Ant's sobs which were increasing as time passed to stop.He slowly kissed Ant's temple as an assurance that he is never going to leave his side. But the taller man lifted his head and tried his best to wake himself up, if this was dream. This was too hopefull a moment and it will very much painful if it is proved to be a dream.

Dec pinch him gently in his arms and Ant jolt in pain " Deckyy!!!"

"Yupp.. its not a dream you numphy...I am really awake"

Happiness, sadness, love , relief, affection all crossed through Ant's mind as he hugged Dec again tight after pressing the buzzer for nurses station He is awake... He is here...

 

 

 

 

TBC


	35. Waking Up

Dec's POV

I woke up from a sleep I dont remeber falling,  disoriented and thinking about my dad Why would I think of him now? Ohh no!!!  Am I unwell? Yeah!! And in hospital too?how the hell did this happen?

But oddly enough am not afraid or terrified.  Am I confused? Yes Am I panicking? No.. Because the arms that holds me now is the safest place I could ever be. I might have woken up wanting dad and no doubt I would have called for Ant too. I do that always. My neck is stiff and there is something stuck on it and also to my hand which my best mate is now holding gingerly. Then everything comes back to me Shit!! Samuel...Steel...Pain...Ali...Ant's voice "fight for us"

I whimper unexpectedly at that memory. But what happened after? I have no idea. I know Ant knows everything and I should ask him "Ant??"

He doesnt reply. His hold on me tightens and he try to coax me.. ooh its so nice to be in his arms.

"I am here kidda.. you will be alright.. you will be fine.. just try to wake up soon.."

Was I sleeping for long? Oh no!! Was I unconscious ? No wonder his hold is so tight but gentle and his voice so broken and comforting. I have to put him out of his misery.

"Ant .....you.."

"I am here ... I am here.. just relax mate I won't leave you alone... just relax"

I am Ant.. it feels so good when he try to comfort me. I am really clingy when I am sick, I know. I snuggle closer to him. But I want to let him know that I am awake.  
He  kiss my hair and forehead all the while rubbing my back.  
"You will wake up soon kid... you will be fine..."

Yup he still thinks I am asleep.   
"Anttt" I call urgently

I think he was taken aback by my urgent voice. He might be still thinking that I am still asleep? I talk in my sleep ?    
Ooh he is hugging me tight  now "Relax kidda.. relax pal" he coaxes. 

May be I should catch one more sleep? I am tired and I dont think he will notice that I am awake anytime soon. But I cant leave him suffer any more. I care for him too ... 

He kiss my hair again. He does that a lot when he himself want to be assured of my well being.  
He is slowly loosening the hold to lay me to bed. How may hours had I stayed in his arms like this? But I dont want to move anytime soon now..

I complained "Aannthh"

But I did whimper when he tried to lay me down. Dont let me go Ant.. its so warm and assuring

Ant take me again to his arms "Yes Decky.... I am here kidda .. I wont leave ... I wont leave you Declan"

Good.. but I am awake man just look at me will ya .I then see that he holding something in his hand. He held it so tight that a few more pressure and his hands would start bleeding.  A cross?!!!

What The Heck!!!! Ant holding a rosary!!? then it hit me "pray for me" I had asked him.

Now I know ... It was not just a sleep. He is hugging me tighter as if afraid to leave me alone. He starts rocking me in his arms ... How lucky I am to have him who knows how to take care of me, in my life.

I know I should let him know I had woken up. But how? Yeah I know how. I call him again

"Ant .... Man you Stinks!!!!!!"

Ohh my the look on his face... what would have he gone through. I could see many emotions in it joy, relief , affection, love..  I feel my self grinning at that. But oh noo tears. Ant is crying?!! He never cries before anyone except in unavoidable situations like those moments on the telly. But this... that too infront of me?!! He is always my rock!   
I gingerly pull him to me and place his head on my shoulders. I dont know what all I put you through I am sorry Ant.. I rub my hands through his hair and comfort him. Dont worry pal.  
I.am.okay.

He is still terrified. May be he thinks this is not real? He is afraid to believe this it seems. 

I pinch him genltly and he jolts  like only he can.

" Deckyy!!!"

And there he is..

"Yupp.. its not a dream you numphy...I am really awake"

His smile tells more than his relief. I have gone through that phase twice the past week that I know what goes through his mind.

He hugged me again tight, after pressing the buzzer for nurses station . All I am sure of is that I will be always safe by his side.

 

 

Third POV

After he buzz for the nurse, everyone enter and Dec was taken aback as he never expected his brothers here. Ant slowly walked out of the room probably to give them some privacy. Dec looked at that act of his in confusion Why did he do that?

And his brothers fill in the three days events. Dec was totally gobsmacked at this point Mom? What Ali too? Christine and Sarah? Ohh No!! I did put them in hell for a couple of days. 

He then look at Martin in sadness "I woke up needing dad today..."

Martin: "We know. This is not the first time. You woke up calling for dad or Ant and cried for them upteenth time since you were brought in.

Dec: " I cried for them?"

Eomenn: "Yeah! you even asked for Mam and Ali a couple of times.. not any mention of us three poor old brothers, mind you"

Dec laugh cheekily at that remark "I dont remenber..sorry... I would have if I was conscious"

Martin: "Come on... then you would be snuggling with Mom or Ant at this point. He is getting all the love aint he?"

Dec laugh affectionately at that "He looks after me ...What?.... yeah, Okay and I do feel comfortable around him. He loves me and care for me...and he never nags me when I am sick, like you lot does"  
And stick out his tongue at them.

Dermott laughs at that "There he is.. our Decky..  but Declan, speak to him, okay.. he was in pieces. We all were"

Dec: " Sorry"

Martin: " What are u sorry for? You were sick and we know how bitchy you can become while you are at it" he winks

The other brothers chastise him "Mart language!!"

 

 

They all laugh in their brotherly warmth while Ant stood outside, guilt slowly veiling the joy and relief he had moments ago

I broke my word...  
I broke his trust...


	36. Be with you

For the first time since Dec was brought to the hospital, everyone allowed themselves to smile genuinely, relaxing. They were not in a hurry to go home as Martin's wife was back from her home and joined Eomenn's wife in NewCastle. This let Anne and Christine to fuss over Dec to an extend that whenever they entered the room he acted as if he is alseep. The day slid to  evening and even the judges visited him in hospital. 

As the evening approached there was not a single moment when he was left alone as even when he wakes up after a sleep, he found either Ali or Anne near him. Ant also popped into the room a couple of times, both times when he was half awake as Ant silently kissed his hair and sat by him but went hurriedly out when he was about to wake up, sensing Ant's presence near him. Even with his family near, Dec felt an odd sensation of loneliness when he realised that Ant was avoiding him. The thought and the painkillers kicking in was too much for him and a few hours after waking up he slid into an exhausted sleep again...

 

 

As Dec woke up an hour after,  he felt an odd sensation in his head. He strained to see who was beside him and he saw his mom...   
"Mom... you here?"

Anne was taken aback by that question  Sure he knew I will be here

"Yeah pet. I was here for 3 days"

"3 days?!"

"Declan? You dont remember waking up earlier?"

"What?!"

Anne was terrified seeing Dec's state. She hurried to press the bell to summon others.

"Mam what are you doing? I am okay ... Why are you calling anyone? I am fine like. ."

"Declan pet .. do you remember anything?"

"Yeah.. what did I forget..."  
then past events dawn in him quickly "Shit! Samuel?"

"Yeah and you woke up this morning?"

"Yeah..I remember that...Ant was with me.."

Anne let out a relieved sigh.  
"Ohh dear dont do that to me again!!"

Everyone barges into the room hearing the bell and Dec felt an odd embarrassment for causing it.

Dec: "Wow thats a huge commotion you called for mam"

Nurse: "What happend Mrs Donnelly? "

Anne: "Ohh I am sorry.. when he woke up, he didnt remember anything so I thought.."

Nurse: "That's fine.. It can happen when he is in meds. Nothing to worry about ... You okay sir?"

Dec: "Yeah.. just a bit of pain"

Nurse: "That will go.. It is quiet a gash you've got there"

Dec just smiled and looked around. Then he looked at his mother "Mam..Where's Ant?"

Martin laughed "You are never happy with us, are you? "

"Martin!" Anne chastised "He is here somewhere.."

Dermott: "He was with us when we entered. Where did he go now? I saw him leaning to the door a moment ago"

Dec: "Can you call him?"

Martin: "Sure"

Martin exits the room and enters with Ant who rushes to Dec's side thinking it was something very important. His eyes were bloodshot and sleepy and his whole appearence looked as if he just went through a terrific Bushtucker Trial. His eyes only showed misery and despire and his shoulders were slumped and drawn in. 

Ant: "Heyy Decky...what is it? I.. ah I.. just had to take a call. Why did you call me?"

Dec looked at him for a moment and then at his brothers... then breaking Ant's heart into million pieces, he asked "I am sorry.. do I know you? And Martin, where is Ant?!!"

 

 

 

Ant looked at him in pained shock while everyone had their mouth opened agape. 

Anne: " Declan.. this is Ant.."

Ant : " Dec..  man what are you playing at? You know it's me. You just talked to me earlier and you.."  
Ant had tears rolling down his cheeks "Dont punish me more kidda.. dont joke..please dont "

Dec still looked at him in wonder and surprise "What?! How could I speak to you when I havent even seen you before . Martin where IS Ant? Is he okay? "

Ant was close to sobbing by now  
"Dec..lan.. please.." he tried to hold himself together

Anne sensed this and speaks to others " I think we should leave them both to this. We will wait outside dear"

She places an assuring hand on Ant's shoulder and moves out. 

As they move out, Ant sits closer to Dec and takes his hands, allowing tears to flow freely  "Decky.. dont joke mate .. you can't forget me ... you can never forget me.. you cant.."

Dec: "I wouldn't have if l  knew who you are. I dont know why my family is with you in this,  
But I am very sure that You.are. not.my.Anthony"

Ant was shocked by Dec's confident tone "Decky..."

"No..I am sure..My Ant is not like this...you are not him"

Ant was frustrated by now "Not like this? Then how is he if he is not like me?"

Dec just thought for a moment and frowned "Ohh..I cant recall his face but he is not like you I am sure"

"Kid.. dont test me.. " Ant was sobbing by now "Donnt Dec-ky.. you do know... you.. kn..ow its me.. its me"

"See, I knew you are not. Ant never cries and especially not infront of me. He is my rock you know, he never breaks"

Ant was really shocked by this childish assumption of his friend. What happened to you Declan?

Ant: "What are you talking about? My only friend wakes up after being stabbed and tells he doesnt remember me, and what do you expect me to do?"

"I dont know about you. All I know is that you are not him. Why are you doing this? And why is my family with you in this? Is Ant okay?"

"Stop it Declan. You know its me... you will never forget me... you cannot. You are.. you are just disoriented... thats it.. and nothing else. You can never forget who I am... I am Ant, man "

"Really?!!!Then prove it" Dec scoffed.

"What?!" Ant was taken aback by the animosity coming from Dec.

"Prove you are Ant... that you are not an imposter who want to take his place"

Ant was really in fear by now seeing the way Dec is acting  
"Okay.. how should I prove it?People, Photos, Signature, Contracts, Events, Memories...."

"Okay..look, I will tell some of my memories of Ant and let me check whether you know it or not"

Ant was too tired to argue that he gave in for such a childish deduction  
"Whatever Declan.. ask"

"Okay.. Me and Ant first met at BikerGrove"

"Yes, I came into the show during Season two and we didnt speak and later I sent yo a Christmas Card and asked you out for..."

Dec: "wow woh woh.. stop it.. everyone knows these things ... just listen to what I am saying okay.. and also..I dont believe you are Ant...so just keep up with me.. alright, whatever your name is!"

Ant laugh incredulously at the funny side of it..  
"What?"

"Why Declan?" Frest tears formed in his eyes

"Will you answer me or just tell me where Ant is?"

"Okay.. go on..."

"Hmm.. so, one day I came to the show with a hangover of"

"Yeah one that we called Alcohol poisoning and you were sick as a dog and I literally carried you back home..."

"Ooh..no.. not you .... Ant"

"Declan!!..See.. I know..."

But Dec cuts him "Once when me and Ant were staying together in a flat at Fulham, one day I ended up fighting in a pub. What happened next?"

"I... ah okay okay.. 'Ant' pulled you out of the fight and took you home . I- Ant- Ant did get some bruises because of your stupid heroism and to top it all up, you made quiet a scene that night..he had to literally put you to sleep"

Dec looked at him in awe but continued "Then we changed the flat, and brought seperate ones. One day after a boozy night I came back home craving for a Sandwich"

"And efficiently chopped a cheery tomato and ended up with painful cut and Ant came in with Lisa and bandaged you up. You were pale as a paper and it literally took the air out of me- mmm- him"

Dec started thinking in earnest now and Ant felt hope crawling in but Dec continued " mmm.. once during a takeaway challenge with motor bikes, I jumped through a fire ring and fell from the bike..."

"Declan! How many times had I told you never to talk about it?!!"

But Dec looked at him in as of asking are you gonna fill the rest?

"Okay.. well.. Ant thought you might have died... But saw you were okay and took you to hospital and waited your head and feet for days"

Dec was really thinking about what all he had heard. And Ant felt a new sensation of hope and belief 

Dec: "During an SNT height challenge, I was afraid to go into it"

Ant: "Yes because you were afraid of heights... Ant took you aside and asked you to trust him... asked you to fight the fear"

By now Ant was also immersed in those memories as they reminiscenced their past days

"When I had numerous break ups in my life and I was down the ladder thinking I can never keep the people in my life..."

"Ant asked you to trust him and promised that he will never let you feel alone and gave you the permission to use his home and his tin opener as long as you want"

Both laughed at that memory

Ant continued "And then knocked your head to make you realise the one for you was always by your side and that you just have to ask her"

Dec looked at Ant with clouded emotions.. and spoke

"And... when I lost my Dad... I was so low that I couldnt even look at people..."

"Ant showed you the love you've got... the people you've got.. and the numerous things you have to look forward in your life"

Both had tears in their eyes but a tinge of comforting smile played in their lips.

"And ... when I fell on the floor 4 days ago after Samuel attacked me..."

Ant felt his heart speeding and a thousand needles pricking him "Ant.. did nothing... nothing"

Dec looked at him sharply

"You held my hand and asked me to fight and I did fight... because of YOU"

Ant snapped his head up He know its Me!!?

"Declan.. you??!!"

"What?! It was the only way I could make you realise that you were with me, always Ant .....like I will always be with you. You never broke your word and I know you never will"

Ant just held his head low without responding

"Ant.. look at me... Why dont you yet understand what all you did for me . Yeah,  things can go hard sometimes.. we may have to face challenges.. our relation might be tested... We might be tested.. but Ant!.. we found each other long ago.. and we did tackle everything thrown at us easily. This is just one of those moments Ant.... this will pass ... this will, if you are with me..."

Ant hugged Dec tightly without replying as he didn't know how to put his emotions to words. Dec knew his friend so much that words were not necesaary to feel the love, gratitude and affection eminating from his friend.

Dec: "Ant..man.."

Ant: "Mm?..."

Dec: "Remember what I said to you this morning?"

Ant: "What?"

Dec: "You stink man!!!"

Ant had to laugh at that.. and Dec giggled as he always did whenever he succed in making Ant laugh. That sound brought so many emotions in Ant that his smile turned teary and he hugged Dec tight and wept in his hold.

 

A few minutes later,  when Anne entered the room... she saw Dec sitting leaning back to the headboard, fast asleep with Ant's sleeping head on his  stomach,  hands around his waist.

She slowly approached, put the blanket on both of them and walked to the door silently, where Ali was standing with an affectionate smile on her face. Anne and Ali looked at the pair one last time and moved out. 

As the door closed, Dec's lips twitched in a silent smile and his palm caressed the black hair pillowed on his stomach.

I will always be with you

 

 

 

 

TBC


	37. Always and Forever

Manchester did have a lot of talent to showcase and the auditions for their atmost disbelief, lasted three long days. By the third day things were going smooth for the duo as their enemy was behind the bars and all the bugs he had planted were eliminated from where they were around them.

As the show progressed, the judges and audience were clearly pissed with consecutive acts being the worst and they were in a mood to put every acts off, even before they entered. But the next act who entered put 'them' off for a different reason. 

It was a magic act!!!

The magician introduced himself and started his act. He was rather clumsy but a couple of his gigs did amaze the crowd. It was then that he took the mike and said the words they dreaded all along

"I need a volunteer to do this act. I would like to invite someone, whom I reckon will do this the best"

Everyone held their breath knowing whom he was implying. Judges looked worriedly at the wings. After what had happened there last time, they were worried whether this was a good idea. Stephen was also having the same thought as he looked at Ant and Dec with worry. Stephen turned to his camera "I dont know whether this is a good idea after the reckless act last time. I don't think either of them would be ready to do it this time . But this is showbiz you can't back down when you are a professional, can you?" He winked at the camera and thanked his stars that he is not hosting the main show.

Meanwhile at the opposite wing, Ant and Dec were watching the act in amusement. They know what is going to happen. The auditionee had asked whether they could do it and they did what any dignified professionals would do. And the magician was more than happy with that.

Dec saw Stephen's worried face and looked at Ant "Poor Stephen, he is worried for us"

Ant smiled at that " Yeah. You think our decision was right?"

Dec laughed at that "Ooh yeah yeah yeah.. I would love to know what happens next"

he know what could.....

Ant held his smaller friend close to him " Do you know how important our friendship is to me?"

Dec: "Yeah. Its the same for me too. I dont care what anyone says or how everything turns to be. I will always stand by you and will be proud to call you my friend"

Ant: " We can win over everything if we are together Declan, we always have"

Dec: " We can... And we will. Whatever the future holds for us, what all change in our life, whoever turn against us or try to hurt us, Our friendship will always stay the same. Our relation is much much greater than our Industrial name and much stronger than the Firm we stand on. 

Ant: "Even if it all ends tomorrow, even if we may have to take decisions that we never thought we could, our love for each other will always stand the same . I will never stop loving you Dec"

Dec: "Nor will I. You are more important to me than anything we had built" 

They pull each other close, their vows sealed again with their warmth.

As the hug lasted more than usual time, Ant laughed and asked "Why didnt we marry when we had the chance"

Dec giggled at that cheesy line "Too late to think about that. And you always said my kitchen skills are the worst"

Ant: "True. Good think I didnt ask for your hand ehhh?" 

They eventually pull away, giggling at Joey's face who was busy avoiding the emotional part playing before him all the while struggling with his camera to not to picture anything before him.

It was then that the auditionee spoke. As everyone dreaded for the moment when either of them would be called, the magician lifted his hand, pointed at a far wall in the backside of the venue and dragged it in the air,  
left to right..right to left...  
through every worried faces in the venue...  
pointing at all the four judges before him...  
and stops at the wings!

He look directly at the wing ....and this time, for the first time since BGT started, creating a new historical event for the show, his fingers were pointing straight to the 'right side' of the stage......

"Stephen Mulhern..Sir.. May I have you on stage, please...?"

Ant and Dec had never laughed so much in their life like they did when they saw the look on Stephen's face.... 

They then look at each other like the thousands of times they had done throughout the years, with love, pride and affection twinkling in their eyes as they watch each other laughing...

No one can pull us down..

Nothing can pull them down

 

************

 

They are strong; they have been through lot. But never did they fall apart. Many times their friendship was tested. Once in the form of a lap dancer even before being the kings of the telly , then in the form of chaos caused by media for splitting with long term girlfriend, then in the form of phone scandals, another in the form of inconsistency in keeping relations, later in the form of many shows getting axed; losing people they both had cherished for long and recent instances of hitting the rock bottom while one of them had to confess his addictions and then to split with his long term girfriend - wife. Now, all their nightmares are playing before them and for the first time since they met, one of them is faced with dilemma of hosting alone. But througout all these, one thing kept them sane; One think kept them strong; One thing kept them positive; The only thing that they held to be most important than anything they had achieved so far: each other

Until they have each other's side and support off screen, the on-screen dilemmas are just lines in the water. Still to this day, they place each other before anything else. This time when they come back together, whatever be the result, their friendship will be as strong as ever.

As they had said in their autobiography, they will be proud that they had kept their word for each other even after all these years. 

With Dec and his mom by his side, Ant is in the safest of hands. May be he will also get Lisa back in his life, may be we will all see the cheerful Ant whom we had lost a couple of years ago (he showed illness since 2016) or may be not. He had always smiled through hurt for us and we will never let him down. Nor would they. 

"Our friendship is a great great part of where we are today" and that is as true as it ever could be......

 

End😊


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